英文译中文的幽默短句

1 英文句子搞笑谐音中文

Room out high people 世外高人

When the moonhas its ownlook up 明月几时有 自己抬头瞅

I am not a casual person,but it is not people casually 我不是随便的人，但随便起来就不是人

Other people's road,let others have no way out 走别人的路，让别人无路可走

Water to pure have no fish,people are invincible to 水至清则无鱼，人至贱则无敌

Give me a girl,Ican create a nation 给我一个姑娘，我可以创造一个民族

I want to love,butalready late 我想早恋，但是已经晚了

Money is not a problem,the problem is no money 钱不是问题，问题是没钱

够不够呢 ，，嗯哼？！

2 幽默的英文句子

第一条英文：Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating中文：考试害了多少个孩子，让多少诚实的孩子学会了作弊。

第二条英文：For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were中文：对于美女，看两眼就行，转身告诉自己，我老婆比她们都好。第三条英文：Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly中文：你有没有发现，那些讨厌你的人，长得都特别丑。

第四条英文：Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect中文：自从会玩QQ后，我发现我拼音越来越好了，读书都没这效果。第五条英文：I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl中文：我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是个妞。

第六条英文：I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke！中文：我抽的不是烟，也不是寂寞，是二手烟！第七条英文：Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination中文：考试有人靠的是实力，而我靠的是丰富的想象力。第八条英文：Abroad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run中文：国外：思想和才能才是王道，国内：关系和马屁才能横行。

第九条英文：The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he's salary中文：听到老师说又要开始罚钱，我就知道是他工资花完了。第十条英文：The man called the romantic love rich, rich in the coquettish woman中文：男人情史丰富那叫风流，女人情史丰富那叫风骚。

第十一条英文：One, two people, three person is to fight at outrance中文：一个人快活，两个人生活，三个人就是你死我活。第十二条英文：Grandpa Mao said, not to marry for the purpose of making object is bullying中文：毛爷爷说，不以结婚为目的的搞对象都是耍流氓。

第十三条英文：Brother, you have to face the resolution is good？中文：大哥，把你脸上的分辨率调低点好吗？第十四条英文：In heaven there is no white out the pie, but white out the bricks中文：天上没有白掉的馅饼，倒有白掉的砖头。第十五条英文：Ideals are like the pants, have, but not everyone can go to prove that you have！中文：理想就像内裤，要有，但不能逢人就去证明你有！第十六条英文：More to their fucking great time also can not compare with idiot years中文：再多各自牛逼的时光 也比不上一起傻逼的岁月。

第十七条英文：Thinking of how far, how far you roll; light how fast, how fast you roll中文：思想有多远，你就滚多远；光速有多快，你就滚多快。第十八条英文：Chinese two big characteristics: one, don't love the truth; two, do not want to hear the truth中文：中国人就两大特点：一，不爱说实话；二，不爱听实话。

第十九条英文：You look very Chinese, very dedicated, very backbone中文：你长的很爱国，很敬业，很有骨气。第二十条英文：Germany is the only woman, I think I must be too mean中文：女子无才便是德，我想我一定是太缺德了。

第二十一条英文：If you don't like brother talk about conscience, I did not, a few days just donated中文：你丫别跟哥谈良心，哥没有，上几天刚捐了。第二十二条英文：Go go go, don't waste the youth the two words, you are already the beginning of autumn中文：去去去，别糟蹋青春那两字了，你都已经立秋了。

第二十三条英文：Women have two mouths, a mouth is a, a mouth to eat中文：女人有俩张嘴，一张嘴道是非，一张嘴会吃人。第二十四条英文：In fact, the day classes can be short, the computer opening and closing the past中文：其实，一天班可短暂了，电脑一开一关就过去了。

第二十五条英文：You have learned at school all forget, the rest is quality中文：把你们在学校所学的知识统统忘掉，剩下的7a686964616fe78988e69d8331333361316664就是素质。第二十六条英文：Living half are bad luck, the other half is how to handle it中文：活的一半是倒霉，另一半是如何处理倒霉。

第二十七条英文：Life can not cook, all the materials are ready was the pot中文：人生不能像做菜，把所有的料都准备好才下锅。第二十八条英文：First scroll: Live meaningless, the second line of a couplet: Dutch act no courage, horizontal batch: white go back中文：上联：活着没意义，下联：自杀没勇气，横批：白走一回。

第二十九条英文：My principle is: the person does not make me, I do not prisoners; if the person make me, I will get angry！中文：我的原则是：人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我就生气！第三十条英文：After today, do not meet again, I am afraid to wake up every day to beat you many times中文：过完了今天，就不要再见面，我害怕每天醒来揍你好几遍。第三十一条英文：What I want, is shameless What t。

3 幽默英语（要中文翻译）小笑话

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street He was brought to the hospital His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill" "I am afraid that he is dead"said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead I'm still alive" "Be quiet, "said the wife "the doctor knows better than you！" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说："我想他伤得很厉害"医生说："我怕他已经死了"听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说："我没死，我还活着"妻子说："安静，医生比你懂得多" 2：英： You can't go without me The busis very crowdedAman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him "Hey,let me get on the bus"the man shouts "It's too crowdedYou'd better take the next bus"a passenger says to him "But you can't go withou meI'm the driver"the man says 译： 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤一位男士想上车，但是没有人给他让路 "喂，让我上车！"那位男士喊道 "车太挤了，你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说 "但是没有我你们走不了我是司机！"那位男士说道 3:Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk" "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。

这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。

如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” 4:Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny Where did you find the cheese" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。

这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。

客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”

那小男孩说。 5:Dear white, something you got to know When I was born, I was blackWhen I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black When I'm sick, I'm blackWhen I die, I'm still blackyou---white people,When you were born, you were pinkWhen you grow up, you become whiteYou're red under the sunYou're blue when you're coldYou are yellow when you're afraidYou're green when you're sickYou're gray when you dieAnd you, call me "color"？ 亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。

当我出生时，我是黑色的我长大了，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时，我是黑色的我害怕时，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白种人，当你出生时，你是粉红色的。

你长大了，变成白色的。你在阳光下，你是红色的。

你寒冷时，你是青色的。你害怕时，你是**的。

你生病时，你是绿色的。当你死时，你是灰色的。

而你，却叫我「有色人种」？ 6:Where is the father Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings "Look," said the elder brother "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children Where is the father" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures" 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。

那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。” 7:How Many Rabbits Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have Jonathan: Nine, sir Teacher: Nine Jonathan: I've got one already, sir 多少只兔子？ 老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？ 乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。

老师：九只？ 乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。 8:These Are My Jeans After going on a diet,a woman felt 。

4 英语笑话带翻译

I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered "Not asleep But you had your eyes closed" "I know I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car" 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。

售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！” “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？” “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong可怜的丈夫“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”

Where is the father Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings "Look," said the elder brother "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children Where is the father" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures" 父亲在哪儿？ 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。

那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”Does the dog know the proverb, too The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too？" 狗也知道这个谚语吗？ 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？” 一 Can we have our teacher back Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back？" 能让我们的老师回去吗？ 有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。

一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？” 二 Who's More Polite A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down 谁更有礼貌？ 一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。

瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。

三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction Dentist: I usually do But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office 昂贵的代价 牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。 母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？ 牙科医生：是的。

但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了。

5 英语笑话带翻译

Father:do you knowToday is a great occasion of nation stanza, the anti- day is also successful!

Son:Great occasion of nation stanzaIs just Chinese

Father:do you guess a foreign country to have

Son:this I also don't know, affirming is "the country is disgusted with stanza"!

Father:。。

爸爸：你知道吗？今天是国庆节，抗日也成功啦！

儿子：？？国庆节？只是中国的吗？

爸爸：你猜猜外国有没有？

儿子：这我还不知道，肯定是\"国厌节\"啦！

爸爸：。

6 急求一则英语幽默笑话,附中文翻译（尽量简短）

A man goes to church and starts talking to God He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话他问："主啊， 一百万美元对你意味着多少？"上帝回答："一便士"男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"最后男子请求道："上帝，我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"

7 求几个英文幽默段子（要中文翻译,最好是发生在我们身边的事）

I`ve Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous" the young snake asked his mother

"Yes,dear," she replied "Why do you ask"

"Because I`ve just bitten my tongue!"

我刚咬了自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗？”一条年幼的蛇问它的妈妈。

“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”

“因为我刚刚咬了自己的舌头！”

英语幽默笑话（精选15篇）

　在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我为你整理的几则英语幽默精彩段子，让你笑到停不下来!!!

英语幽默笑话 篇1

　一、我是单身汉

　Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurtA beautiful young nurse asked him to fill formsJack finished them and gave them back"Anything else" The nurse asked"Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor"

　杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的"护士问"有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉"

　二、死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭

　Wife:You seeAccording to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho

　Husband:It's okeyTo my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals

　妻子：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的

　丈夫：那有什么据我调查,死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的

　三、位置上的冰激凌

　"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine"

　"YoursCan you prove it"

　"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it"

　"请原谅,你占了我的位置"

　"你的位置你能征明这点吗"

　"能,我在位置上放了杯 冰激凌"

　四、别无选择

　One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me"

　Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice"

　一天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗"

　亚当无可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗"

　五 、 两个男孩

　Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room

　The teacher says,"Why are you arguing"

　One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie"

　"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was"

　The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher

　当老师走进教室时,两个男孩在争论

　老师是说：你们在争论什么

　一个男孩回答：‘我们捡到一张10块,我们决定把它给一个说最大的谎的人’

　‘你们应该觉得羞耻’老师说,‘当我像你们那么大的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道’

　两个男孩把钱给了那个老师

　六、两只鸟

　Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrowNow who can tell us which is which

　Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer

　Teacher:Please tell us

　Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow

　老师：这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗

　学生：我指不出,但我知道答案

　老师：请说说看

　学生：燕子旁边的`就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子

　七、鱼网

　"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann"

　"A lot of little holes tied together with strings" replied the little girl

　"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗," 老师发问道

　"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了" 小女孩回答道

　八、他赢了

　Tommy:How is your little brother,JohnnyJohnny:He is ill in bedHe hurt himself

　Tommy:That's too badHow did that happen

　Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won

　汤姆：约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗

　约翰尼：他害病卧床了他受了伤

　汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事儿

　约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了

　选我吧

英语幽默笑话 篇2

　心不在焉的老师

　An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professorHow are you “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with meI've been limping for the last half hour”

　有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。 一个碰见他的学生说： “晚安，老师。您怎么了” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。”

英语幽默笑话 篇3

　谁的儿子最伟大

　The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'" The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'"

　"My son is a cardinal" continued the next one "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'

　" The fourth mother thought for a moment "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"

　四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子。“我的儿子是个教士，”第一位母亲自豪地说道，“他进入房间，人们都说，‘您好，阁下’。”

　第二为母亲说：“我的儿子是位主教。他进入房间，人们都称，‘您好，大人’。” “我的儿子是位红衣主教，”第三位母亲接着说，“他走进房间，人们都说，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”

　第四位母亲略思片刻。“我的儿子身高六英尺十，体重三百磅，”她说，“他要是走入房间，人们都说‘哦，我的上帝’!”

英语幽默笑话 篇4

　为什么六怕七呢

　Q: Why was six scared of seven

　A: Because seven "ate" nine

　问题：为什么六怕七呢

　回答：因为七连九都能吃掉呢!

　(笑点：本应该是seven eight nine, 但是利用了发音相同，将eight用ate(吃)替换掉了。)

英语幽默笑话 篇6

　用“beans(豆子)”造句

　A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence "My father grows beans," said one girl "My mother cooks beans," said a boy A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans"

　一名老师让学生们利用单词“beans(豆子)”造句，其中一个女孩说“我爸爸种豆子”。另外一个同学说“我妈妈炒豆子”。第三名学生说“我们是人类”。

　(笑点：老师让用的单词是beans，豆子的意思，结果，第三个学生将beings 和 beans 搞混了，因为发音相同。)

英语幽默笑话 篇7

　两块蛋糕

　Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please

　Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

　汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗

　妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!

英语幽默笑话 篇8

　一分一块钱 A dollar per point

　A professor was giving a big test one day to his students He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait

　Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point"

　The next class the professor handed the tests back out This student got back his test and $64 change

　一天，教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。

　考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱。”

　第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。

英语幽默笑话 篇9

　Eating out

　外出就餐

　When the bill arrives ,Mark, Chris ,Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20,even though it's only for $3250 None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back When the women get their bill , out come the pocket calculators

　买单的时候，阿麦，阿克、阿力和阿汤每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块50没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想把票子破开。女人买单时，每人掏出个计算器。

英语幽默笑话 篇10

　卷烟厂都失火

　Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day‘I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday ’‘Don't worry ,dear All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later ’He said with a smile

　玛丽非常讨厌丈夫吸烟，一天她对丈夫抱怨说：“我希望有一天所有卷烟厂都失火。”“不用担心，亲爱的，所有的烟卷迟早都会点着的。”他笑着说。

英语幽默笑话 篇11

　成年人的抉择

　The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a have tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for oneHe argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions Sure enough,a few days after his 18th birthday,he come home with a tattoo Although l was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculin', he had chosen There, on his shoulder,was a two inch image of Mickey Mouse

　我儿子十八岁前的那一年，常常向我提出准许他文身。但我拒绝允许他这么做。他争辩说他不久就要成为男子汉了，并说他应该能够做出成年人的抉择了。果然，十八岁生日的几天后，他文了身，回到家里。尽管我对此感到不高兴，但出于好奇，我想看看他选择了什么雄性象征物。原来他在肩上文了一个两英寸长的米老鼠像。

英语幽默笑话 篇12

　和上帝对话

　He says: "God,what is a million dollars to you"and God says: "A penny,then the man says: "God,what is a million years to you”and God says: ¨a second", then the man says: “God,can I have a penny "and God says:"In a second"

　他问：“主啊，一百万美元对你意味着多少”上帝回答：¨一便士。” 男子又问：“那一百万年呢，”上帝说：“一秒钟。”最后男子请求道：”上帝，我能得到一便士吗“上帝回答：“过一秒钟。”

英语幽默笑话 篇13

　可以借用一下吗

　Are you using your mower this afternoon

　今天下午你准备用割草机吗

　Mr Johnson:Are you using your mower this afternoon

　约翰逊先生：今天下午你准备用割草机吗

　Mr SmithYes

　史密斯先生：是的。

　Mr Johnson: Fine Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it

　约翰逊先生：太好了。既然您不用网球拍，那我可以借用一下吗

英语幽默笑话 篇14

　妈妈不见了

　A little girl was lost, so she went up to a policeman and said, "l've lost my moml" The cop said,"What's she like" The little girl replied,"Shopping and gossiping!”

　有一个小女孩走丢了，于是她走到一个警察跟前说：“我妈妈不见了!”这个警察说：“她什么样子”小女孩回答：“买东西和说闲话!”

英语幽默笑话 篇15

　Get the kid

　A bit of advice for those about to retire lf you are only 65,never move to ansrUrement community Everybody else is in their 71s, 80s,or 90s So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded,they yell,"Get the kid

　这里想对将要退休的人提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。因为那里的人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们会喊，“让小的干吧。

;

这是8,为约翰开始工作了。所以他打开他的收音机。然后他吃早餐。当他吃,他读他的电子邮件和评论他的清单。然后他坐在沙发上,想着他需要写一篇文章。等一下!收音机吗早餐吗沙发吗什么样的工作场所是这样的嗯,实际上这是约翰的家,他是一位telecommuter-he在家工作,交流工作场所通过互联网。

喜欢约翰,数以百万计的鼻子employers-are远程办公的发现是一个伟大的方式行不通。远程办公者可以遵循自己的时间表。他们的工作在安慰自己的家园,在那里他们可以照顾年幼的孩子或年迈的父母。他们节省时间和金钱不去上班。雇主保存,也因为他们需要更少的办公空间和家具。研究表明,远程办公者换工作得更少一些。这样可以节省雇主更多的钱。远程办公可以帮助社会,也减少污染和交通问题。

适合远程办公的工作,包括写作、设计工作,计算机编程及会计。如果一个工作涉及的信息,一个telecommuter也许可以做这件事。

英语表白，首先对方得是对英语要感兴趣，而且要有一定的英语功底，这样才有必要去用英语的告白。

要想浪漫还想不肉麻的话就不能用一些比较火的**或者电视剧上的台词去表白，因为这种段子大家都耳濡目染，听过很多遍了，就不会产生什么新的感觉，就显得很俗套，也就谈不上什么浪漫了。要想足够浪漫还是要看一些小众的书籍或者电视**题材，自己去用心的发现里面的简约而不简单的句子，表白的时候如果对方的英语水平不够高的话也不能用一些语法或者生词太多的句子，这样会影响氛围。

氛围场景很重要，可以选在一个风花雪月的夜晚，也可以选择在一个清凉微风的深秋，或者是月色当头的夏夜，要么就是百花盛开的早春，在加上一个比较有新意也有心意的英语告白，我觉得只要对方对你有一点感觉的话，基本就会成功了。