ROMEO
But, soft! what light through yonderwindow breaks
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun
Arise, fair sun, and kill the enviousmoon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fairthan she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast itoff
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
罗密欧 轻声！那边窗子里亮起来的是什么光？那就是东方，朱丽叶就是太阳！起来吧，美丽的太阳！赶走那妒忌的月亮，她因为她的女弟子比她美得多，已经气得面色惨白了。既然她这样妒忌着你，你不要忠于她吧；脱下她给你的这一身惨绿色的贞女的道服，它是只配给愚人穿的。那是我的意中人；啊！那是我的爱；唉，但愿她知道我在爱着她！
JULIET
Ay me!
朱丽叶 唉！
ROMEO
She speaks:
O, speak again, bright angel!
罗密欧 她说话了。啊！再说下去吧，光明的天使！
JULIET
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thouRomeo
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn mylove,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet
朱丽叶 罗密欧啊，罗密欧！为什么你偏偏是罗密欧呢？否认你的父亲，抛弃你的姓名吧；也许你不愿意这样做，那么只要你宣誓做我的爱人，我也不愿再姓凯普莱特了。
ROMEO
Shall I hear more, or shall I speak atthis
罗密欧 （旁白）我还是继续听下去呢，还是现在就对她说话？
JULIET
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague
What's Montague it is nor hand, norfoot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man O, be some othername!
What's in a name that which we call arose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeocall'd,
Retain that dear perfection which heowes
Without that title Romeo, doff thyname,
And for that name which is no part ofthee
Take all myself
朱丽叶 只有你的名字才是我的仇敌；你即使不姓蒙太古，仍然是这样的一个你。姓不姓蒙太古又有什么关系呢？它又不是手，又不是脚，又不是手臂，又不是脸，又不是身体上任何其他的部分。啊！换一个姓名吧！姓名本来是没有意义的；我们叫做玫瑰的这一种花，要是换了个名字，它的香味还是同样的芬芳；罗密欧要是换了别的名字，他的可爱的完美也决不会有丝毫改变。罗密欧，抛弃了你的名字吧；我愿意把我整个的心灵，赔偿你这一个身外的空名。
ROMEO
I take thee at thy word:
罗密欧 那么我就听你的话。
JULIET
Art thou not Romeo and a Montague
How camest thou hither, tell me, andwherefore
The orchard walls are high and hard toclimb,
And the place death, considering whothou art
朱丽叶 你不是罗密欧，蒙太古家里的人吗？告诉我，你怎么会到这儿来，为什么到这儿来？花园的墙这么高，是不容易爬上来的；要是我家里的人瞧见你在这儿，他们一定不让你活命。
ROMEO
With love's light wings did I o'er-perchthese walls;
For stony limits cannot hold love out,
And what love can do that dares loveattempt;
Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me
罗密欧 我借着爱的轻翼飞过园墙，因为砖石的墙垣是不能把爱情阻隔的；爱情的力量所能够做到的事，它都会冒险尝试，所以我不怕你家里人的干涉。
JULIET
If they do see thee, they will murderthee
朱丽叶 要是他们瞧见了你，一定会把你杀死的。
ROMEO
I have night's cloak to hide me fromtheir sight;
And but thou love me, let them find mehere:
My life were better ended by their hate,
Than death prorogued, wanting of thylove
罗密欧 朦胧的夜色可以替我遮过他们的眼睛。只要你爱我，就让他们瞧见我吧；与其因为得不到你的爱情而在这世上捱命，还不如在仇人的刀剑下丧生。
JULIET
Thou know'st the mask of night is on myface,
Else would a maiden blush bepaint mycheek
For that which thou hast heard me speakto-night
Fain would I dwell on form, fain, faindeny
What I have spoke: but farewellcompliment!
Dost thou love me I know thou wilt say'Ay,'
And I will take thy word: yet if thouswear'st,
Thou mayst prove false;O gentle Romeo,
If thou dost love, pronounce itfaithfully
朱丽叶 幸亏黑夜替我罩上了一重面幕，否则为了我刚才被你听去的话，你一定可以看见我脸上羞愧的红晕。我真想遵守礼法，否认已经说过的言语，可是这些虚文俗礼，现在只好一切置之不顾了！你爱我吗？我知道你一定会说“是的”；我也一定会相信你的话；可是也许你起的誓只是一个谎，人家说，对于恋人们的寒盟背信，天神是一笑置之的。温柔的罗密欧啊！你要是真的爱我，就请你诚意告诉我。
ROMEO
Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear
That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops—
罗密欧 姑娘，凭着这一轮皎洁的月亮，它的银光涂染着这些果树的梢端，我发誓——
JULIET
O, swear not by the moon, the inconstantmoon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable
朱丽叶 啊！不要指着月亮起誓，它是变化无常的，每个月都有盈亏圆缺；你要是指着它起誓，也许你的爱情也会像它一样无常。
ROMEO
What shall I swear by
罗密欧 那么我指着什么起誓呢？
JULIET
Do not swear at all;
Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,
Which is the god of my idolatry,
And I'll believe thee
朱丽叶 不用起誓吧；或者要是你愿意的话，就凭着你优美的自身起誓，那是我所崇拜的偶像，我一定会相信你的。
ROMEO
If my heart's dear love—
罗密欧 要是我的出自深心的爱情——
JULIET
Well, do not swear: although I joy inthee,
I have no joy of this contract to-night:
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
Ere one can say 'It lightens' Sweet, good night!
This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet
Good night, good night!
朱丽叶 好，别起誓啦。我虽然喜欢你，却不喜欢今天晚上的密约；它太仓卒、太轻率、太出人意外了，正像一闪电光，等不及人家开一声口，已经消隐了下去。好人，再会吧！这一朵爱的蓓蕾，靠着夏天的暖风的吹拂，也许会在我们下次相见的时候，开出鲜艳的花来。晚安，晚安！
ROMEO
O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied
罗密欧 啊！你就这样离我而去，不给我一点满足吗？
JULIET
What satisfaction canst thou haveto-night
朱丽叶 你今夜还要什么满足呢？
ROMEO
The exchange of thy love's faithful vowfor mine
罗密欧 你还没有把你的爱情的忠实的盟誓跟我交换。
JULIET
I gave thee mine before thou didstrequest it:
Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed
If that thy bent of love be honourable,
Thy purpose marriage, send me word to-morrow,
By one that I'll procure to come to thee,
Where and what time thou wilt perform the rite;
And all my fortunes at thy foot I'll lay
And follow thee my lord throughout the world
朱丽叶 在你没有要求以前，我已经把我的爱给了你了；亲爱的罗密欧，再说三句话，我们真的要再会了。要是你的爱情的确是光明正大，你的目的是在于婚姻，那么明天我会叫一个人到你的地方来，请你叫他带一个信给我，告诉我你愿意在什么地方、什么时候举行婚礼；我就会把我的整个命运交托给你，把你当作我的主人，跟随你到天涯海角。
Nurse
Madam!
乳缊：**
JULIET
By andby,I come!
朱丽叶等一等，我来了。
Nurse
Madam!
乳缊**
JULIET
By andby,I come；
To cease thy suit, and leave me to my grief:
To-morrow will I send
朱丽叶 等一等，我来了。——停止你的求爱，让我一个人独自伤心吧。明天我就叫人来看你。
ROMEO
So thrive my soul—
罗密欧 凭着我的灵魂——
JULIET
A thousand times good night!
朱丽叶 一千次的晚安！（自上方下。）
ROMEO
A thousand times the worse, to want thy light
Love goes toward love, as schoolboys from
their books,
But love from love, toward school with heavy looks
罗密欧 晚上没有你的光，我只有一千次的心伤！恋爱的人去赴他情人的约会，像一个放学归来的儿童；可是当他和情人分别的时候，却像上学去一般满脸懊丧。（罗密欧退后朱丽叶自上方重上）
JULIET
Romeo!
At what o'clock to-morrow
朱丽叶罗密欧，明天什么时候呢？
ROMEO
At the hour of nine
罗密欧 就在九点钟吧。
JULIET
I will not fail: 'tis twenty years till then
Parting is suchsweet sorrow,That I shall say good night till it be morrow
朱丽叶 我一定不失信；挨到那个时候，该有二十年那么长久！我记不起为什么要叫你回来了。
选段缘由：此片段时罗密欧与朱丽叶的定情之夜，大篇幅的真情互诉，最引人入胜，加上来自莎士比亚的浪漫手笔，这段是最令观众印象深刻的。
by 聚有戏
He: Are you free tonight
She: No, but I'm inexpensive
他问：“你今晚有空吗？”可是free除“自由的，有空的”意思以外，还有“免费的”意思。因此她解释为“你今晚免费吗！”，所以回答说：“不，但很便宜。”这是将free的两种意思巧妙运用的joke，象这样把一句话的意思活用的笑话很多。dear有“亲爱的，可爱的”和“昂贵的”两种意思，因此可编成以下的笑话。
He: My DEAR gril, are you FREE tonight
She: No, I'm not FREE, because I'm your DEAR girl
（他：我“亲爱的”人啊，今晚“有空”吗？）
（她：不是“免费的”，因为我是你的“昂贵的”人。）
能这样利用free或dear不同意思挖苦女人。
顺便也要学一学在一般会话中使用的方法。在商业用语有free sample(免费样品)，在英美的夫妻间或情侣间，用Dear!或My Dear叫对方，写信时一定要用Dear Mr King等，想必大家都很熟悉。在展览会等柜台上放的资料等，询问“免费吗？”时是“Is this free”。“昂贵”的意思是expensive比Dear用的多，相反的“不贵”是inexpensive。到处可看到用free说的笑话，这里再举出一则。
He: Do you believe in free love （他：你相信自由恋爱吗？）
She: Have I ever given you a bill （她：我过去给过你帐单吗？）
男的意思是自由恋爱，而女的却以为是“免费的恋爱”。所谓free love是根本不考虑结婚等，只要有喜欢的人就可以发生肉体关系，瑞典大概是这种free-love的大本营，但在美国还是expensive love，男人会感到头痛。
所以，不论男女往往都会把free解释成金钱性的，而不是精神性“自由”。这样利用不同意思的笑话外，还有利用相同发音的笑话。例如：
Three Stages of A Man's Lift（男人一生的三阶段）是：
(1) Tri-Weekly
(2) Try Weekly
(3) Try Weakly
都是相同的发音。
（1）是“一周三次”的意思。tri是表示“三”的意思，例如三角形是triangle ，三人帮是trio，“三重结婚”是trigamy。另外bi是“二”的意思，所以“一周二次”是bi-weekly，“重婚”是bigamy。
（2）Try Weekly是“每周努力”的意思。“每周出版一次的杂志”是weekly。try 是“努力、试做”，所以“一周三次”变成“每周努力一次”。
（3）是“软弱地努力”，weak是“软弱”，副词是weakly。
这是说男人在结婚当初可以“一周做三次”，但不久之后勉强成为一周一次，到后来只能软弱地进行了。这就是“男人一生的三个阶段”Man's Life。
再举同样的例子。在美国留学时就喜欢研究这样的话， 因为很有趣不由得热中于英语，然后不知不觉靠英语吃饭了。
为理解下面的笑话，要先了解bear(保存)与bare(暴露)是同音，“深深刻画在心里”的成语是bear in mind。
She: Do you think of me whenever you're away, darling ( 你在离开我的时候想不想我？)
He: Yes, sweet, I always BARE you in mind （那是当然的，你时时刻刻在我心里裸露。)
妙处是把“刻画在心里”的bear in mind说成bare in mind “使你赤裸裸地刻画在我心底”。
在情侣或夫妻间除了说darling之外，也常使用sweet或sweetheart。sweetheart不仅是在情侣之间，在夫妻之间也常做为招呼语，原意是有“体贴心（的人）”。
“裸体”通常是说nude或naked，但用来押韵时就允许使用平时不常用的语法。
这种英语的意思或重点在发音上的笑话，如果仅看译文，其趣味性会减半，这时候熟悉英语就有用处了。科学或理论性的书籍由于没有这种趣味性，所以仅看译文就可以了，向爱好粉红色笑话的人推荐本书的理由就在这里了。
另外，各位所熟悉的watch，除做为“钟表”解外，还有“监视、仔细看”的意思，因此可以做以下的应用：
The kid's parents asked him what he wanted for the birthday （孩子的父母问孩子在生日想要什么。）
"I wanna watch" he said （孩子说“我想要watch”。）
So they let him （父母就让他那样做了。）
watch到底是什么东西，请你想象吧。此时的I wanna watch是俚语的说法。“想要手表”的正确英语说法是：
I want a watch
如果是“想看”应该说：
I want to watch
可是在实际的会话时，不论孩子或大人都会说I wanna watch，这个笑话是利用这种微妙的关键。
这一类发音改变而产生的笑话还有很多。watch有“监视”，也有“手表”的意思，truck又分为“货车”和“手推车”，cook有“厨师”和“烹饪”的意思。
apt是“伶俐的、聪明的”意思，如果要说“你是聪明的孩子”，则是：
You're an apt boy
另一方面“易于……”是be apt to， 例如“她很快就爱上英俊男孩”的说法是：
She is apt to love any handsome men
这样就应该能看懂下面的笑话了。
You're an apt boy Is your sister apt, too （你是聪明的少年，你姐姐也很聪明吧？）
少年回答说：
For the price she is apt to （那要看价钱，姐姐会立刻干的。）
这里是除利用apt的两种意思外，巧妙运用too与to的字义。
现在我要举出我认为最好的美国笑话。有个人被问到男女的差别在哪里时， 他回答说：
When a man breaks a date, he has to
When a girl breaks a date, she has two
虽然只是two与to的差异，但很美妙地描绘出美国女性的心理与约会的方法。意思是说“男人爽约是因为he has to（不得已才那样）的关系，可是女人爽约是she has two（有两个约会）的关系”。如果改成：
he has to (break the date)
she has two (dates)
就应该容易了解了。
date有“约会”的意思外，还有“日期”，以及“为生意见面”等意思。
He is my steady date （他就是我经常约会的对象。）
这里可做“约会的对象”也应该记住。
再说，作为约会的对象受欢迎(popular)的女孩，就是所谓的easy girl（立刻答应的女人）。对于当做结婚对象并不好，而做为约会的对象又太保守的女孩也没有兴趣，所以有这样的笑话：
Do you know the dirrerence between a popular girl and an unpopular one （你知道受欢迎的女孩和不受欢迎的女孩之差别吗？）
1 适合初中二年级演的搞笑英语剧本
（道具：小床、门） Mum: Tom get up ! Tom Yes ,mummy Good moring,mummy Mum: Good moring,Tom Mum: Breakfast is reday Tom: I\'m coming Wow, eggs ! I like eggs Mum: Now, Tom Wash your face Tom: Yes, I will Mum: Brush your teeth Tom: All right Tom: Moring, Daddy Dad: Moring, dear Tom: I\'m hungry Mum: Have an egg, please Tom: Thanks, mummy I want some milk Mum: Here you are Tom: I\'m full Mum: Time to go to school Tom: Where is my school bag Mum: Here it is Are you ready Tom: Yes Goodbye, mummy Goodbye ,daddy Mum&Dad: Goodbye, Tom （上学路上，一段跳舞的动作，配乐） Tom: Hello WiWi WiWi: Hello Tom Tom: Are you going to school WiWi: Yes Let\'s go Jane: Hello Tom ,hello WiWi Tom &WiWi: Hello Jane Jane : Are you going to school Tom &WiWi: Yes Let\'s go （上课，铃声响，一段跳舞和做游戏，配乐） Mr Xu: Now class begins Pupils: Stand up! Mr Xu: Hello, boys and girls Pupils: Hello Mr Xu Mr Xu : Sit down, please Are you all here Monitors: No Mr Xu: Let\'s count Pupils: One , two, three, four。
ten （咚咚咚） May: May I come in Mr Xu: Come in, please May: Sorry, I\'m late Mr Xu: That\'s all right Don\'t be late again Mr Xu: Let\'s play Show me one Pupils : (Show a ginger) Mr Xu: Clap two Pupils: (clap their hands) Mr Xu : Today we will learn some songs Who can try Puple : I can Mr Xu : Please (Happy new year! Eyes and ears Trian is coming Fish where are you) （看一下手表）Class is over Goodbye boys and girls Pupils: Goodbye 人物：Mummy, Daddy, Tom, Mr Xu, May A（衣衫褴褛） B（衣着光鲜） C小花 E椅子 F新闻记者 B坐在E上吃东西，A一乞丐上前 A：先生，先生，请给我些面包，谢谢，我饿得不行了。 B：（厌恶）让开，让开。
（然后便起身离开，这时他的钱包掉到E上头了） A：先生，先生（A看见后，立即拾起，追上了走远的B） B：让开，让开啊，我没吃的了，也没钱了（看也不看A，仍自顾自地走了） C：他真愚蠢啊 A：可……先生……您听我说……（仍拉着B衣服的后摆） B：挖，你这人怎么这么讨厌！（还是没有回头看A一眼） C：椅子啊，你会不会觉得刚刚坐在你身上的人特愚蠢？ E：唉，人总是这么愚蠢啊~~~~ 与此同时A与B还在纠缠，这时E终于隐忍不住爆发了。 E：先生！你的钱包丢了！你怎么这么傻啊。
A与B同时回头，看见了那会说话的椅子E，吓昏过去了。这一幕恰巧被经过的F看见了。
于是F就报道了这一事件。 F：大家好，我是新闻记者F，今天我看见了一个奇异的现象，一个椅子说话了，两个人被吓昏了，下面我将采访一下被吓昏的两个人。
B：哦，上帝，哦，妈妈。 F：这个人傻了，我们不鸟他了，下面我采访一下另一个人吧，请问你为什么不告诉他，他的钱包丢了？ A：对不起，我不知道“钱包”这个单词怎么讲…… F：通过这一事件，我们可以认识到，掌握一门外语的重要性，以及金钱给人类带来的影响。
是吗，椅子？ E：是啊，是啊（E傻傻地拼命点头） C：唉，人可真愚蠢，椅子也被他们弄傻了 A:sir,sir,please give me a piece of breadthank you,sirI'm hungry to die B:get away,get away,dirty man A:sir,sir!! B:run away,please run awayI have no food,and I don't have money,either C:hey,xiao D,he is so foolish,isn't he A:but。sir。
please listen to me。 B:wa,why are you so disgusting!! C:hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stupid E:ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly E:sir!you lost your wallet!can't you be more clever F:good morning,everybodyI'm a jonrnist F Today I saw a very weird thing--a chair open her mouth,and two men are frightened to faintnow,I will intenview the two nozzy man B:wo,my god,wo,my,mum F:I'm sorry to tell you this man has been madwe needn't take notice of himlet me interview the other man,hello,man,can you tell men why didn't you tell him he lost his wallet A:I'm sorry,I don't know how to speak "钱包" in english。
F:dear audience,through this thing we can learn that how improtant it is to mastery a foreign language,and how lagre the money affect usis that all right,chair E:yes,yes C:ai,men is so silly。
2 小学生简短的英语话剧剧本Little Red Riding Hood 小红帽 第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家 Mum： （妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌紫的水果放在篮子里） Little Red Riding Hood：（唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doingMum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma Take them to GrandmaLittle Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok!Mum： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good Be carefulLittle Red Riding Hood: Yes ,mummyGoodbye, mummyMum: Bye-bye Darling第二场：在路上（一阵轻快的音乐远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁） Little Red Riding Hood: Wow!Flowers, how beautiful！ （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowersWolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐，Wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf I am hungry （做找东西状，东张西望） Here is a little red riding hood Hi! Little Red Riding Hood Where are you going？ （做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼） Little Red Riding Hood：（手摸辫子，天真地回答）To Grandma'sGrandma is illWolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandma But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducksLittle Red Riding Hood：（和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞） Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后） Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks,how are youSix Ducks:We' re fineThank you Where are you goingLittle Red Riding Hood:To Grandma'sOh, I must go, byeSix Ducks:Goodbye 第三场：Grandma家 Grandma： （喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）
Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am very hungry now （做找寻的样子）Where is Grandma' s house？ （高兴地对观众说）Aha , it's here（敲门）Bang, Bang, Bang Grandma: Who is itWolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音，一边得意地摇动尾巴，一边说）It's me Little Red Riding HoodGrandma： （边说边起床） Come in, come inWolf：（得意洋洋地走到床边） Grandma , I'll eat youGrandma： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上） 灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）Yummy!I'll sleepLittle Red Riding Hood：（高兴地敲门）GrandmaGrandma Wolf：（装扮成Grandma的声音） Who is itLittle Red Riding Hood:It's me。
Little Red Riding Hood What a strange noise!Wolf:Come in, Come inLittle Red Riding Hood：（蹦跳着进来，把篮子放在桌紫，走到床前一看，跳回几步）Oh! What are big ears!Wolf:I can listen to your sweet voiceLittle Red Riding Hood:Wow! What a big eyes!Wolf:I can see you pretty faceLittle Red Riding Hood:Oh! What a big handWolf:I can hug youLittle Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a big handsWolf：（从床上跳起来说）I can eat you!Little Red Riding Hood：（拼命地跑）Oh!No! No!Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃状，拍拍肚子说）It's delicious I still sleep I like sleepingHunter： （一边拿着枪，一边做寻找状出场）Where's the wolf Look! A door（推门）The wolf is sleepingWolf：（发出呼呼的响声） Hunter： （端起枪想打，又放下）What a big stomach！ （摸摸Wolf的肚子）Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside I must be hurry（从桌紫拿起剪刀，举起） Look! Scissors （做剪Wolf的肚子）Cut, cut, cutLittle Red Riding Hood/Grandma:Thank you Hunter: Grandma ,give me some needles and thread Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones Grandma： （从桌紫拿来针线） Little Red Riding Hood：（搬来几个石头）One, two, threeHunter： （把小石头装进Wolf的衣服里） Grandma: I'll thread itHunter： （拿起枪）Woke up!Wolf：（起床，两手托着大肚子）My stomach is so heavyHunter: You big bad wolf, raise your arms!Wolf：（边跑边说） Help! Don't shot me!Hunter： （开枪）Bang, bang!Wolf： （应声倒下） Hunter: The bad wolf is dead Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma:Yeah! Thank you Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、Hunter（一起鞠躬）： Thank you。
3 求英语故事小短文 适合2年级小学生表演的这是白雪公主英文版，小孩子都很喜欢的。不如演这个吧！After the queen died , the King married another woman, who was in effective terms a witch She was so jiealous of the beauty of Princess Snow White that she asked someone to take her life
But the man was unwilling to do that evil At last ,he took Snow White to a forest and let her escape
However, one day ,the witch found that Snow White was still aliveShe dressed up as a old grandma and come to the cottage where Snow White livedShe gave her a poisonous applePoor Snow White knew nothing about it and ate the apple happily
Unfortunately ,she fell down because of the appleThe seven dwarfs was sad but put her in a coffin
It was when holding the funeral that the handsome Prince turned upHe was impressed by the beautyHe came down and kissed Snow WhiteThen, suepringly,Snow White woke up
Finally ,they got married and stayed happily with each other
4 二年级什么话剧比较适合呢《白雪公主》 严冬时节，鹅毛一样的大雪片在天空中到处飞舞着，有一个王后生了一个像雪一样的白嫩，又透着血一样的红润，头发像乌木一样的黑亮的女孩，叫白雪公主。
但白雪公主还没有长大，她的王后妈妈就死去了。不久后，国王又娶了个妻子这个王后长得非常漂亮，心地也和以前的王后一样善良。
她有一块基于双核英特尔至强处理器的魔镜。 幕一 （新王后、魔镜、白雪公主） 王后：魔镜，今年春天我们一家去哪玩？ 魔镜：去夏威夷，那儿一年四季温暖如夏，比这暖和多了。
王后：我女儿到那边不变成黑雪公主才怪。 魔镜：去阿尔卑斯山？ 王后：OK，下个星期出发。
白雪公主：妈，又在和魔镜玩啦！ 王后：没，我和她在聊今年去哪玩，准备去阿尔卑斯山滑雪。 白雪公主：好啊，我去跟父王说。
幕二 （新王后、魔镜、白雪公主、国王、侍卫、强盗、单车王子） 国王一家出发了。 白雪公主：魔镜，我想上QQ和MSN，可以吗？ 魔镜：只许玩一小时，我等一会得写Blog。
白雪公主：OK。 王后：老公，你看自从我喝了老婆牌口服液，我腰不酸了，腿不痛了，一点毛病没有，牙好胃口就好，身体倍棒，吃嘛嘛香。
国王：脸红什么？ 王后：精神焕发。 突然，一辆黑色小吉普突然出现在国王车队前。
强盗：抢……劫。 侍卫：放下手枪，立地成佛。
强盗：TO BE OR NOT TO BE,THAT'S A QUESTION 此时，一个男子从天而降。 单车王子：排山倒海。
此时，强盗应声倒地 单车王子：起来吧，什么不好，非要抢劫。 （强盗深受感激，于是，新王后、魔镜、白雪公主、国王、侍卫、强盗、单车王子唱起了《手拉手》） 众人：心与心相连手和手相牵，我们相信彼此之间距离不再遥远，心与心相连手和手相牵，带着骄傲一起飞向无边的蓝天。
强盗：以为我这么好对付，强盗点穴手。 大家都被定住了，强盗让公主吃下十日倒毒药，抢劫了车队、带走了公主后，独自逃跑。
幕三 此时，魔镜发出光芒，大家解了穴，人们让武功高强的单车王子去找公主，其他人回去报警了。而公主却在强盗的车中，她悄悄地逃出汽车，向马路边的房子走去，寻找人帮忙。
而七个小矮人正在回家的路上。 （小矮人Lin、Oven、Vista、Egg、Yami、Osia、Um、白雪公主） Lin：哎，真是不得不服老啊！干了一天活，看，我的腰都闪了，Osia轻点，疼死我了。
Oven:Lin看这个，钙中钙口服液，内用外服均有奇效，闪了腰喝一瓶，受了伤喝一瓶。瞧，蓝瓶的，水果味，老人们都爱喝。
钙中钙口服液，青春的水，友谊的水，御膳房指定营养品。 Egg：我可以在哪买呢？ Oven：本国各大药店均有销售，购买时，请认准小黄狗防伪标志，汪、汪。
Um：我先去开门。 当Um去开门后 Um：啊~~~ Vista：怎么啦？ Um：入室抢劫。
Egg：里面的人注意了，你已经被包围了，立即放下武器，你有权保持沉默，你所说的话将成为呈堂证供。 Lin：以怎么没反应。
Um：啊！有个人睡在我床上。 白雪公主：你们是这主人吗？ Um：你你你是谁？ 白雪公主：我家人被坏人点穴后，我又被坏人劫持并且又被服了毒，幸好我逃出来了，希望有人能帮助我。
Osia：你好像是白雪公主吧？ 白雪公主：我是，我能借宿一宿吗？ 晚上，白雪公主吃晚饭，与小矮人们具体谈起了自己和家人的被害经历，小矮人愿意帮她找解药，并向皇宫打了电话。 幕四 （单车王子、白雪公主、七个小矮人） 十天后，白雪公主倒下了，七个小矮人在旁边哭，单车王子带了解药来，立即给白雪公主服下。
白雪公主：我现在在哪？ 单车王子：在小矮人的家中，你已经没事了。 白雪公主：谢谢你们，也谢谢你，单车王子。
此时，王子跪下，向白雪公主求婚。 单车王子：你愿意嫁给我吗？ 白雪公主：我愿意为你，我愿意为你，我愿意为你，被放逐天际，只要你真心，拿爱与我回应，什么都愿意，什么都愿意为你。
（白雪公主唱起了《我愿意》，此时放起音乐） 幕五 婚礼后 （所有人） 新王后：女儿，告诉你个好消息，那个强盗被抓住了，等待他的只有正义和法律地审判。 白雪公主：妈，爸。
（白雪公主扑向父母的怀里） 单车王子：公主，我永远爱你。 白雪公主：我也是。
众小矮人：好美啊。 强盗：不要抓我啊，我还是介绍他们的人啊！（强盗被带离舞台）。
5 急需~~~~~一部适合小学生的英语短剧
中小学英语剧本文章列表
[中小学英语剧本]龟兔赛跑 佚名 12-06
[中小学英语剧本]Pull up the turnip 佚名 12-06
[中小学英语剧本]远 离 网 吧Keep Away From the Net 佚名 12-06
[中小学英语剧本]The Ugly Duckling 佚名 12-06
[中小学英语剧本]《白雪公主》英语童话剧 佚名 09-18
[中小学英语剧本]AprilFool'sDay 佚名 04-03
[中小学英语剧本]玛菲女儿《吐蕃来使求娶文成公主》（独幕剧） 小吗啡（… 12-08
[中小学英语剧本]英语短剧： The Tortoise and the Hare（龟兔赛跑） 尚丽娟（… 11-27
[中小学英语剧本]英语短剧：The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威） 尚丽娟（… 11-27
[中小学英语剧本]英语童话剧：白雪公主<；剧本>； 佚名 11-27
[中小学英语剧本]儿童英语剧本Little Red coat 佚名 11-27
[中小学英语剧本]英语表演剧本--小狮子找食物 佚名 11-27
[中小学英语剧本]英语小品剧本-----小红帽 佚名 11-27
[中小学英语剧本]英文小品The Ants and the Picnic 佚名 11-10
[中小学英语剧本]Jungle Story 张宇 11-10
[中小学英语剧本]The Three Bears 张宇 11-10
[中小学英语剧本]Little Red Riding Hood 张宇 11-10
[中小学英语剧本]Cinderella 张宇 11-10
[中小学英语剧本]Little Duck 佚名 11-10
6 求适合2个人的表演,用英语貌似很难找到了，不过可以给你个网址 cn/language_tips/看看吧 表演 可以去演《老友记》里的片段 英文小品剧本 羊肉串和纳税人Characters: Mr Shi, Xiaofu,Dabao Mr Shi: Tax is the major source of the fiscal revenue There is an evidentchange about the relationship between the taxcollector and taxpayer in the past 20 years Now, the tax collector, Xiaofu, and the tax payer Dabao, a vendor selling Yangrouchuan will show you the very change The first Act happened in 1980s Act I (inBazaar of Beijing, sanlihe, 1980s) Dabao: Yangrouchuan ,yangrouchuan, eaten one,want nine, eaten one, want nine Hi, Take my yangrouchuan(slipped, take it up, ) Xiaofu: Tax! Pay the tax! Dabao: (change faces) Taxi Where is the taxi Here's no taxi Xiaofu: Tax! T---A ---X! Dabao: What's the tax I just know taxi! Do you want me to call a taxi for you Taxi----! Taxi----! Xiaofu: Enough! Are you the vendor Dabao: No , No, No, no! I 'mjust have a look The vendorhas gone to the toilet Xiaofu: Not the vendor Impossible! you 've been here for 2 hours Dabao: Really (Xiaofu: Yes, of course) How do you know itXiaofu: The window of my office is open to here and I've been looking at you for two hours Dabao: It's a bigbug! Xiaofu: Oh Don't wastemy time! Please pay the tax---- 10 Yuan! Dabao: 10 yuan! My god I had just earned 20 Yuan one day! 5 Yuan, ok Xiaofu: Don't cheat me, you've sold more than 2 hundred ones Dabao: 6yuan, my dear sisiter 7Yuan, my lovely beauty Dabao: Not for you ,not for me, let's split the difference 8 yuan ,ok Xiaofu: (looking around) Allright ,a deal But no receipt (Dabao payed 8 yuanand Xiaofu left) Dabao: Whata smart woman! Bad luck! I'mbankrupt I have to change my place Hope I would not meet her any more! Let's go!Act II Mr Shi: The next scene happened in new century China had been marching in the way of the market economy for twenty years more, in the new era of building the well-off society in an all-round way,how do the vendor regard taxas and how is the tax collected The scene will tell you Let's enjoy it! (In the market; Dabao in white clothes ,a board with"NO SARS") Dabao:: Yangrouchuan, yangrouchuan Eaten one, want nine Eaten one, want nine Xiaofu: Hi, Dabao: Hi Two: What a familiar face Two: It's you! Dabao: 10 years past, you are a still a tax collector Xiaofu: 10 years past, you still sell Yangrouchuan How is your business Dabao: Everything is OK! 10 years past, you are still beautiful lady in Sanlihe of Beijing Xiaofu: 10 years past, you and your Yangrouchuan look more cleanthan 20 years before Dabao:Thank you No SARS, no dirtiness; Serve people, serve me Xiaofu: Great! Have you…。
I have a dream
音乐起（舒缓的背景音乐）Everyone has their own dreams，As a girl my dream is to experience a sweet and romantic love story。And one day ，a miracle happened, I met an angel
（天使出现）音乐起公映许可背景音乐
独白：As you can see， I am an angel ，an handsome and cool angel
——Do you want to buy Yiligao显示（一粒高）
——NO
——Do you want to Accreditation显示（办证）
——No
——Do you want to chat with xilige or fengjie？显示（犀利哥凤姐）
——No
——Oh,do you want a universal remote control？显示（遥控器）
——What？ （参考**《神奇遥控器》）
——I am not suppose to do this ，but you seem like a good guy 。显示so I gonna have to just give it to you，Enjoy！一块半截砖
—— I want handsome, hero, Prince Charming…
——It will meet all your requirment
——Really
（天使消失）
独白：How could this？ I want to be back again to fall in love with Romeo, of course, hehe（按下按钮）
上第一场景：罗密欧与茱丽叶
罗密欧；美女。beauty
朱丽叶；帅哥。handsome
罗密欧；你和我的前妻好像啊。You look like my ex-wife
朱丽叶；你前妻呢？Your ex-wife
罗密欧；服毒自杀了。She committed suicide taking poison
朱丽叶；我男朋友也服毒死My boyfriend also committed suicide taking poison。
罗密欧；哦 太好了。看我帅吗？oh good Do you feel I'm handsome
Don't you want to be my girlfriend
朱丽叶；让我再想一下啊。let me see
罗密欧；好的，我等你。good， I will wait for you
朱利叶：呵呵，我想好了，好的，我答应你。haw-haw,i decide to be your girlfriend!
罗密欧：那你和我一起去我家见我爸妈吧！that's great! let's go to my home to visit my parents!
朱丽叶：没问题！No problem!
到家之后
罗密欧：妈妈，这是我女朋友，朱，mum,this is my girlfriend,zhuliye!
朱丽叶：你好，伯母。hi,aunty!
伯母： 你好，你长的真漂亮!快坐吧，我去给你弄杯喝的！hi,you are so beautiful! Sit down please! what do you want to drink， milk
朱丽叶：谢谢！sure! thank you!
罗密哦：我的妈很好,对吧？my mun is kind,isn't she
朱丽叶：真的很好！of course！
牛奶到；
朱丽叶：谢谢。thank you !
朱喝之后昏倒。
罗密欧： Oh! my God,my darling,my love! 三鹿奶粉sanlu! fuck！
显示悲伤音乐起（***去世哀悼音乐）
But the moment I fainted, I press the second button, I hope my idol there, come and save me王子上
第二场景：白马王子与灰姑娘
P: A beautiful girl! She shall be my snow white !
wake up, wake up…
Sw: did you wake me up
p:yes! you are so beautifull that i love you at the first sight i see you
sw:Thank you for your help! wa !you are the Prince Charming !and i love you too!
p:o!how beautifull it is !let's go back to my country!
显示皇宫
sw:what can we do the king didn't agree us
p:do you love me
sw:of cours !
p:good let's go out of the country and find our best kingdom!
sw :good ,let's go !
但是进了皇宫我才知道，原来王子喜欢上网，偷菜，打CF，和芙蓉姐姐聊天，没有时间陪我，于是我决定离开，我登上了一条船，没错，这条船的名字就是泰坦尼克号，在船上我遇见了他But when I come into the palace, I find that Prince like to surf in the Internet, stealing vegatable, playing CF, and chat with 芙蓉姐姐, no time to accompany me, so I decided to leave, I boarded a boat, yes, the boat's name is Titanic, the ship I met him
显示，音乐起
Jack上泰坦尼克号音乐
Hello, Jack哈啰，杰克
I changed my mind我改变主意了
They said you might be听说你在这里
ShhGive me your hand嘘把手给我
Now close your eyes现在闭上眼睛
Go on快
Step up站上来
Keep your eyes closed, don't peek眼睛闭好，别偷看
I'm not不会的
Do you trust me你信任我吗？
I trust you我信任你
All right, open your eyes好，张开眼睛
I'm flying! Jack!我在飞！杰克！
要有动作，搞笑点的
正当我们聊天时，泰坦尼克撞上了冰山，船沉了，Jack为了救我牺牲了，伤心的我按下第四个按钮：天啊，赐给我个英雄吧，于是，蜘蛛侠救了我As we chat, the Titanic hit an iceberg, the ship sank, in order to save me ,Jack sink with the ship，and last I press the fourth button: My God, gave me a hero, so, Spider-Man saved me
显示，音乐起（紧张节奏音乐）
很快他也爱上我了，但是我发现，他整天救人却没时间陪我，于是我决定分手
He soon fell in love with me, but I found that he spent on saving lives, but no time to accompany me, so I decided to break up
蜘蛛侠上（借鉴**《蜘蛛侠3》
You look beautiful， peonies哥送的不是花，是寂寞！ you ok？
M:How beautiful you’re!rose Time’s gone,my heart will go on 音乐起神秘园 the song from
W:Sorry!Listen to me,there’s something i have to say We might as well break upOur love have come an endI’ve thought about it for a long time
M:WhatI love you more than I can say Look,it’s my heart
W:Accept it!I was lonely lonely lonely,where were you
Frankly speaking,I have fallen in love with sb else！
He’s smarter and more homour than youFree me away
M:Please,pleaseOh,my god!Tell me why!Tell me why!
经历这么多的伤心事音乐起（海之女神）
我决定找一个可以托付的人结婚，于是我按下最后一个按钮Gone through so much grief, I decided to find a person who can be entrusted to marry, so I pressed the last button
音乐起上（大话西游
Although I am ugly, but my heart is very tender虽然我很丑，但是我的心很温柔，不要迷恋哥哥只是一个传说Do not worship me ，i just a legend
对话显示音乐起
once I let a true love slip away before my eyes, only to find myself regretting when it was too late, nothing in the world can be as painful as this, if the god wound give a chance ,I wound tell the girl I love the girl ,if our love have to be settled a time limit ,I wish it wound be ten hounds of years!
于是我们步入婚姻的殿堂So we entered the marriage hall
音乐起（猪八戒背媳妇）牧师上宣誓音乐（结婚进行曲）
正在这时，牛魔王杀到，音乐起
当牛魔王把剑刺向我胸口时，我一个翻身掉下了床，呵呵Just then, the Bull Demon King and immediate concern, when the Bull Demon sword stab my chest, I turn around and fell out of bed , Oh
It just a dream ,a dream about love!
这是我们班刚演过的，关于爱和婚姻的，效果不错（本来是我手写的，打上去就有点错误的地方，可以修改）当然我是导演，编这玩意还真不好弄，尤其是和背景音乐（光音乐我就找了三天）要搞笑的，把握住节奏，时间，祝你成功
龟兔赛跑（Hare and tortoise）
剧中角色(共五人)：bird，monkey, mother hare, hare, tortoise,
Bird: Friends, friends, come here and have a look
(伙伴们，伙伴们，快来看啊!)
The hare and the tortoise will have a match again
(小兔和乌龟又要比赛了。)
Monkey: The hare and the tortoise will have a match
(小兔和乌龟又要比赛了)
Didn’t the hare lose last year Why do that again
(小兔不是输了吗怎么还要比呀)
Bird: Yes, the hare lost the match last year, and her mother was too angry to eat anything in two days
(是的，小兔去年输了，兔妈妈气得两天没吃任何东西。)
Mother hare order them to have a match again this year
(兔妈妈命令他们今年再比一次。)
Monkey: Oh, so it is(原来是这样。)
Together: ( Music)!
Monkey : Everybody, the match begins(各就各位，比赛开始了。)
I’m the referee(我是裁判)
Hare and tortoise, ready(小兔乌龟，准备好了吗)
Mother hare: Honey! Honey! Come on! (亲爱的!亲爱的!快过来!)
Have some coffee(喝些咖啡。)
Hare: Mom, oh, I can’t drink it all
(妈妈，哦，我喝不下了。)
Mother hare: It can help you keep alert on the way (它可以让你精精神神的。)
My little dear! Drink it quickly!(亲爱的!快点喝了它!)
Monkey: Mother hare, the match is going to begin(兔妈妈，比赛要开始了。)
Mother hare: Ah! The match is going to begin(啊!比赛要开始了。)
Monkey: Please ready, go!(预备，跑!)
Birds: Come on, come on! (加油，加油!)
Tortoise will be the winner(乌龟赢!) Tortoise will be the winner(乌龟赢!)
Hare: Yi I know this tree, oh, yes! The grass is very soft(我认识这棵树，是的，草软软的。)
I fell asleep comfortable under the big tree (树下睡觉舒舒服服的。)
This time I won’t sleep(这次我不会再睡了。)
Oh There are two routes Here or there Which one(这里有两条路，这儿那儿 哪条啊)
Mom, mom, help me, help me! (妈妈，妈妈，帮帮我，帮帮我。)
Tortoise: Hare, let me tell you, turn to the right(小兔，我告诉你，向右。)
Hare: Ah! Tortoise, you’re here So fast! (啊!乌龟，你跑到这儿了这么快!)
Come on, come on! (我得加油了!)
He’s my opponent, Can I believe him choose the right wayNo!
(他是我的对手，我能相信他走右边吗不!)
After I run farther, he will turn to the left,
(等我跑远了，他再往左一拐。)
Then I will lose the match(那我就要输了这场比赛。)
Oh, yes, I should choose the left way Run faster!(哦，是的，我应该选走边，快跑!)
Tortoise: Hare, hare, you’ve gone a wrong way (小兔，小兔，你跑错路了。)
Come back, come back (回来，回来。)
My friends come and help me!(伙伴们，快过来，帮帮我!)
Together: Tortoise, why don’t you run fast (乌龟，你为什么不快跑)
Mother hare: Oh, tortoise, Is it your turn to sleep under the tree this time
(哦，乌龟，这次是不是轮到你在树下睡觉了)
Tortoise: Mother hare, look! Your daughter’s got a wrong way
(兔妈妈，看!你女儿跑错路了。)
Mother hare: Oh, my god, why Why is she going there
(哦，天啊，为什么她为什么会去那儿)
Didn’t you tell her it’s a wrong way
(你没告诉她那条路是错的吗)
Tortoise: I told her, but she didn’t believe me
(我说了，但是她不相信我。)
She said “mother told me the opponent is the enemy I couldn’t believe you”
(她说“妈妈告诉我对手就是敌人。我不能相信你。”)
Mother hare: Yes, I said that(我是说过。)
My daughter’s got a wrong way, she can’t win the match You run please!
(我女儿跑错路了，她不能得冠军了，你跑吧!)
Tortoise: Mother hare, she’s got the wrong way, it’s unfair to her, I must find her
(兔妈妈，她跑错路了，这样对她不公平，所以我必须找到她。)
Hare mother: Tortoise, you, you’re a good boy
(乌龟，你，你是个好孩子，)
The match won’t go on My daughter loses at the very beginning because of me
(比赛不用进行了，因为我的错误，我女儿在起跑线上已经输了。咳!)
Tortoise: Mother hare, it’s not important to win or lose the match
(兔妈妈，谁是冠军不重要。)
Let’s call her back，OK(让我们把她喊回来吧!)
Together: Yes, you are right OK!(是的，你说的对。)
Hare, hare, come back Come back(小兔，小兔，回来。回来。)
爱丽丝梦游仙境（Alice's Adventures in）
Alice in wonderland (New Edition)
Yoyo: It is story time Alice, hurry up!
Je y: I am coming
Yoyo: ring is here Flowers blo om in the ring time Butterflies fly in the ring time Children play in the ring time
To y: My god! I am late I am late!
Je y: Wait for me, wait for me, please
Daniel, Eric, Tina, Richard, Lucy小茶壶，歌曲I am a little teapot
歌词：I am a little teapot, short and stout Here is my handle Here is my out When I start to steam up, then I shout, tip me over and pour me out
Tina: A beautiful girl!
Eric: A strange girl!
Richard: Who are you
Je y: My name is Alice I feel thirsty and hungry
Lucy: Please drink some water
Daniel: Please eat some bread
Je y: Thank you Do you see the white ra it
小茶壶们合: No, we don’t
Je y: I want to find him Bye bye
小茶壶们合: Bye bye
Je y: It’s a big garden There are many beautiful flowers
Erica, Beauty, Jasmin, Rose, Amanda, Julia小仙女舞蹈，歌曲Bu les
歌词: Bu les, bu les, blow, blow, blow Bu les, bu les, blow, blow, blow What are you doing, doing, doing, doing What are you doing, doing, doing, doing I am blowing bu les
Je y: Do you see the white ra it
小仙女们合: No, we don’t
国王和王后Helen Demi
Helen: Who are you
Je y: My name is Alice
Demi: I know a fun game Let’s play together
Je y and Demi: Paper-sci ors-stone（三次）
Demi: I’m the number one I’m the number one!
Helen: Don’t be angry Playing cards, come on!
Richard, Thomas, Jack, Jo y扑克牌
扑克牌合：Stop! Stop! No ru ing! No ru ing!
Helen and Demi: Catch her! Catch her! Catch her!
Je y: Don’t catch me! Help! Help! Help!
Yoyo: Alice, wake up, wake up!
Je y: I’m coming back! It’s a dream!
Je y and Yoyo: Laughing…… 旁白：I think everybody knows the Chinese story 狐假虎威 You know the fox cheat the tiger When the tiger knew the truth, he felt very angry He hated the fox very much Can you imagine when the fox meet with the tiger again, what will happen
One day, a new story happens
(一)
琵琶弹奏：《金蛇狂舞》
场景：狐狸在前面跑，老虎在后面追。老虎一把揪住狐狸，喘三口气后，将狐狸翻转过来。
老虎：(暴怒地，用手指指着狐狸的鼻子)You cheat me last time Cheat me! How dare you! Now, you are dying Ah ha ha ha!
狐狸：(背过头去，小声地)：Oh, unlucky! What shall I do
(回过头来，可怜地)：I feel very sorry for cheating you last time，but, but ,but……(左顾右盼)
老虎：(疑惑地)But what
狐狸：(推脱中)But……(眼睛往远处上下打量，迷恋状，脚不由自主地走出去)Beautiful!
老虎：(一把将狐狸拽回来) What
狐狸：(向远处努努嘴)You girl friend Linda! Look, she’s there!
老虎：(傻呼呼，左右张望，急忙放手去找)Where Where Linda, I love you!(狐狸乘机溜走)(l老虎望着空空如也的手) I hate fox!(气得上窜下跳)
(二)
旁白：Unfortunately, after a few days, the tiger meet with the fox again
老虎在森林里又遇到了溜达中的狐狸，又一下子冲上去把狐狸压在爪下。
(琵琶拨一下弦，以示紧张的情绪。)
老虎：(暴怒地)Now, you can make a choice You want me bite you head first or your fat leg first
(先抚摩狐狸的头发，再打量狐狸的腿)
狐狸：(回过头去，表情像遇到鬼)Shit!(又回过头来，非常可怜状)(二胡《梁祝》响起)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, help yourself to some fox please I hate myself, too(狐狸捂着脸痛苦地跪下)My mother says I’m not a good boy I always tell lies(狐狸突然蹿起来) But, they say, tiger is a kind of strong animal Maybe the strongest animal in the world Before I die, can you show me how strong you are
老虎：(得意极了，做出各种健美展示姿势)Of course I’m a great animal I’m proud of myself
狐狸：(试探地)I heard there was a Chinese called 刘翔 He can cover 110 meters in 10 seconds Can you
老虎：(想想就好笑)Wa ha ha ha ! wa ha ha ha! Poor mankind! How slow! Wash your eyes! (老虎用手将狐狸的脑袋推开)Look!(老虎一溜烟跑了起来)
狐狸：(挥挥手，远远望去)sa yu na la! (二胡配轻松得意的音乐)
(三)
旁白：Now, fate plays another joke on the fox He meet with the tiger again
老虎变聪明了躲在树后面，一下子扑住了狐狸。
狐狸：(不解地)Who
老虎：(意味深长地)Your old friend! Tiger!
狐狸：(装傻地)Oh, haven’t see you for a long time How are you(狐狸帮老虎整理领子，用袖子帮老虎擦衣服)
老虎：(阴险地)Very very nice! Now, I see my lunch Dilicious!(狐狸听了脚抖)
狐狸：(打喷嚏)a ti ! a ti ! (煞有介事地)I admit I’v cheat you for 3 times But, you know, it’s all for your sake
老虎：(疑惑地)For my sake
狐狸：(可怜巴巴地)Yes To tell the truth, I’m not a normal fox!
老虎：(不甘示弱地)I’m not a normal tiger, too
狐狸：(娓娓道来) I looked it up in the dictionary, and I know, in Chinese, they call me 果子狸。
老虎：(没明白)果子狸？
狐狸：(一拍脑袋，假装想起来)Oh, I forget, you can’t speak Chinese!
老虎：(得意地，想想就好笑地)Wa ha ha ha! Wa ha ha ha ! My mother always tell me ：to learn a forgien language is very important! I’ve learnt Chinese in school! Am I great! (突然醒悟过来)Wait, what did you say Chinese call you what
狐狸：果子狸。
老虎：果子狸？SARS 非典？
狐狸：(点点头)Yes!
老虎：(放开手，大叫着跑了)wa ya!(边跑，边擦手)
(四)
旁白：From then on, fox become the real King of the forest
二胡演奏We are the champion
狐狸大摇大摆地走在前面，后面有两个小喽罗在敲背。一个小喽罗敲得重了。狐狸把手一挥。Go! Go! Go! 将其赶走。
狐狸走在台中，大笑起来：Ah ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha!
期间，夹杂着老虎的哭声。
英语话剧《赖皮孙子糊涂爷爷》
4人话剧
演员: P: Pirate-Grandson M: Mother
F: Father K: King -Grandpa
旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him He hates his parents Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him
正剧：(P,K出场)
P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry I love that mouse Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second
K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it Don’t worry, I open it right now (作开电视状)
P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状)
Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom I hate the end! (摔电视机，作极度气愤状) Old King! (对K吼)
K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me I’m sure your demand will be satisfied (作充满自信状)
P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates!
K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you…… (作犹豫状)
P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies You don’t keep your promise（作气愤欲泣状）
K; Oh yes, I play it for you (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these
P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old I promise it to you (作自豪自信状)
K：OK (作舒心，安慰状)
P: Fight him, kill him Throw these bad guys into the sea…… (高声喊)
K: Xu …… (作禁声状) Remember your promise, young adult man
P: Oh What promise I have forgotten it (作天经地义状)
K: Oh! You are right（作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔）
P: Old King I give you an honorable mission (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight(作勇敢状)
K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状)
P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question (作若无其事状)
K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate Now come on my back (作无奈状)
P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men Quick! Run quick! (意气风发状)
（M,F携手进场）:
P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前)
M: Dad, what are you doing! Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick! (作气愤状)
P:（作阳痿状） Mummy, it’s not my fault Old king let me massage his back Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧)
M: I don’t believe it (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that (询问K)
K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good Oh…… (释然状，因为圆了我的谎)
M: Really I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him (作怀疑状) Dear, isn’t you
F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear
M: Yes, really a good suggestion
（P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)
（P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰）
P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold
K: Yes, I can feel it (边挥汗边说冷)
M: No, it’s summer Really hot, do you catch cold
P: No, No, just my feeling (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视)
M: Pirate, what’s behind you (疑问状)
P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状)
M: Move away little Pirate! (作气愤状)
P: Oh no! The storm will come (捂脸作害怕状)
M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate! (气愤状)
P: Mummy, I surrender (作投降状)
M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad !
K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much Yes Pirate (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线)
P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat (作博学状)
M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight He may become short-sighted (诚恳状)
英语四人话剧!幽默搞笑的话剧剧本《赖皮孙子糊涂爷爷》
演员: P: Pirate-Grandson M: Mother
F: Father K: King -Grandpa
旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him He hates his parents Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him
正剧：(P,K出场)
P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry I love that mouse Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second
K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it Don’t worry, I open it right now (作开电视状)
P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状)搞笑小品
Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom I hate the end! (摔电视机，liuxue86com作极度气愤状) Old King! (对K吼)
K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me I’m sure your demand will be satisfied (作充满自信状)
P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates!
K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you…… (作犹豫状)
P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies You don’t keep your promise(作气愤欲泣状)
K; Oh yes, I play it for you (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these
P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old I promise it to you (作自豪自信状)
K：OK (作舒心，安慰状)
P: Fight him, kill him Throw these bad guys into the sea…… (高声喊)
K: Xu …… (作禁声状) Remember your promise, young adult man
P: Oh What promise I have forgotten it (作天经地义状)
K: Oh! You are right(作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔)
P: Old King I give you an honorable mission (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight(作勇敢状)
K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状)
P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question (作若无其事状)
K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate Now come on my back (作无奈状)
P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men Quick! Run quick! (意气风发状)
(M,F携手进场):搞笑小品剧本
P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前)
M: Dad, what are you doing! Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick! (作气愤状)
P:(作阳痿状) Mummy, it’s not my fault Old king let me massage his back Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧)
M: I don’t believe it (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that (询问K)
K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good Oh…… (释然状，因为圆了我的谎)
M: Really I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him (作怀疑状) Dear, isn’t you
F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear
M: Yes, really a good suggestion
(P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)
(P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰)
P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold
K: Yes, I can feel it (边挥汗边说冷)
M: No, it’s summer Really hot, do you catch cold
P: No, No, just my feeling (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视)
M: Pirate, what’s behind you (疑问状)
P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状)
M: Move away little Pirate! (作气愤状)
P: Oh no! The storm will come (捂脸作害怕状)
M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate! (气愤状)
P: Mummy, I surrender (作投降状)
M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad !
K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much Yes Pirate (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线)
P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat (作博学状)
M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight He may become short-sighted (诚恳状)
小品：“不差钱”
(2009年中央电视台春节联欢晚会节目)
Got the Money Anyway(舞台上是一个餐厅的背景，写着：“苏格兰情调”。本山大叔穿着中山装，身上背着一串蒜头，手上拿着野鸡，拉着毛毛上场。)
(This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel" Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow)
Uncle Zhao Here we are 赵本山：到了。
Yadar Here we are 毛毛： 到了。
Uncle Zhao It's the most expensive restrant in Tieling:苏格兰 调情~~~
赵本山：这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。这不，苏格兰调情(tiáo qíng)。 Yadar You got it wrong –苏格兰情调!!
毛毛： 爷爷，你念反了，苏格兰情调(qíng diào)。
Uncle Zhao 情调(qíng diào) All right, We're gonna have our meal here anyway 赵本山：啊，情调就搁这儿吃。
Yadar But it's very expensive 毛毛： 爷爷，这家老贵的啦。 Uncle Zhao So what We've got the money, 30,000 yuan Where's the bag 赵本山：贵咱带钱了，带三万多块，那包呢
Yadar What bag 毛毛： 我没拿包啊。
Uncle Zhao The yellow one with the money in it
赵本山：装钱那包，黄包。
Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed 毛毛： 完了，让我落炕上了。
Uncle Zhao oh,what can I do I do all this just for you ,how could you forget it! Any money left on you
赵本山：我说，你这孩子还能办点事吗!这给你办事，落炕上了还。兜里还有钱吗
Yadar Let me see (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan
毛毛： 兜里，多少钱哪才才70多块钱。
Uncle Zhao Here's 400 more
赵本山：我还有400。行，够了。
Yadar Still not enough 毛毛： 这也不能够啊。
Uncle Zhao It’s ok Waiter!
赵本山：哎呀，够不够就这样了。服务员!
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