英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money
Scene1（At Salesman’s home）
N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students He has a lot of money now But how does he make the candies Oh, xu …… He is coming!
S: Hello, do you know me No Oh, let me tell you I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why The foolish students always come here I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……
Oops! It’s time to make candies now(看表)
First, put the flour on the table
Then, water, sugar, flour(边说边做)
Now press, press……
Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)
Press, press……
Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it!
Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……
Now let me cut it into pieces!
另一个
白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本
旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen She had a pretty daughter named Snow White Soon after the child was born, the queen died The queen married another queen The stepmother was very jealous She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on
白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on)
皇后：I’m the new queen I’m very beautiful you see If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her I have a magic mirror If I want to know something, It will tell me surelyNow, mirror, mirror, come here!
魔镜：Yes, I’m coming Your Majesty! What do you want to know
皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wallWho is the fairest of the all
魔镜：Yes Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I thinkBut there is a young lady She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebonyShe is much more beautiful than you
皇后：She is much more beautiful than meWho is she Tell me quickly
你看看哪个合适,也可以做一些修改
http://wwwniuchanet/Article/ShowClassaspClassID=3
英语小品剧本文章列表 原创《赖皮孙子糊涂爷爷》英语话剧 佚名 12-14
英语短剧：The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威 佚名 08-17
7人英文话剧花木兰 Mulan 佚名 05-20
英语话剧剧本 Pygmalion By Georg… 11-27
THE MASK 面膜 未知 11-27
英语话剧剧本 《新梁祝外传》 未知 11-27
音乐剧：Peter and the Wolf （彼德与狼） 潘彩英 11-27
The Gifts （礼物） 潘彩英 11-27
英语短剧：Snow White and the Seven Dwarf 尚丽娟（… 11-27
英语话剧剧本●傻子春天 佚名 11-27
英语小品 Another day in paradise 佚名 11-27
英语短剧剧本孩和他的树 佚名 11-27
防空洞英文剧本 佚名 11-27
Learn to love 佚名 11-27
Big words of western tour （大话西游） 佚名 11-27
英语剧本 魔豆 佚名 11-27
英语剧本 买药 佚名 11-27
英语话剧剧本貂禅 佚名 11-27
The Pocket Money 佚名 11-27
英语剧本买药 佚名 11-27
英语搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》 佚名 11-27
孙悟空vs猪八戒 佚名 11-24
英文小短剧 佚名 11-10
英文小品剧本 羊肉串和纳税人 张凯 11-10
小美人鱼－英文剧本 佚名 11-10
8个人？难得找个这么多人的本子
THE MASK 面膜
剧情大意：
Julie是一个很爱美的高中生，在班上人缘很好，但是她爱美的个性使得她变得有些自傲。对於外貌毫不在意的Cathy，因此是跟Julie完全搭不上线的同班同学。一天下午，Julie在跟哥哥聊天后发现自己脸上长了一个很大的脓疱，於是她将浴室里那瓶神奇面膜敷在脸上，隔天早上起床后，可怕的事情就发生了……
Narrator
Julie
Cathy
Debbie
Teresa
David
Julie’s dad
Julie’s mom
Classmate A
Classmate B
Classmate C
Classmate D
Scene 1
Narrator: Julie is a very pretty girl who is popular with her classmates But she has a serious problem—she is vain One day, during lunch hour at school, the two pretty girls are talking which color nail polish to put on
Debbie: What colors should I put on nails for the math class Look, my calculator is black but my shoes are pink Maybe I can choose both of the colors That will be cool
Teresa: What about me I don’t know which color I should put on for the PE class, either My sneakers are blue and the athlete uniform is orange Would you advise me (Cathy comes in)Oh hi, Cath, what do you think—blue or orange
Cathy: Gosh, I don’t know Is this important (Answer impatiently)
(The other girls laugh)
Debbie: God, you don’t know anything, do you, Cathy
Teresa: Yeah, you don’t even brush your hair in the mornings Scarecrow!
(The other girls laugh at Cathy louder)
Cathy: At least I’m not stupid like you! Don’t you have something better to talk about than make-up
Teresa: You are just jealous of us because you’re so ugly!
Cathy: How dare you! (Cathy shouted, trying not to cry, and turn to Julie) Tell them to shut up!
Narrator: Julie is offended by Cathy She thinks Teresa is right
Julie: Look in the mirror, Cathy (The three of them walk out)
(Cathy is irritated and tears drop)
Scene 2
Narrator: The same evening, Julie is trying to do her science homework when her brother comes in
David: Do you have the money I lent you last week, Julie
Julie: Sorry, Dave I bought some mascara yesterday
David: But you promised! I need it for the movies tonight!
Julie: It was an emergency!
David: Huh, your priorities are all wrong, sis (Notice a pimple on Julie’s face) Nice pimple you have there, by the way
Julie: Pimple! What pimple! (Julie runs to look in the mirror) Aaaargh!! It’s huge! It’s so big!
David: Ha ha ha, with all that make-up you use, I’m not surprised (Laugh and leave)
Narrator: Of course Julie is in shock Now this is really an emergency
(Julie stops doing her homework and goes straight to the bathroom She found a jar of “Miraculous Herbal Mask for pimples” and read the instructions)
Julie: (Read slowly) Put a small amount on the affected area and leave on for twenty minutes max Wash off with warm water
(Talk to herself) Excellent, so if I put a large amount of this on my whole face over night, it will be even better, right
(Julie puts the mask on her whole face and lies on her bed)
Narrator: So that’s exactly what she did and went to bed looking like Godzilla!
(Lights off)
Scene 3
(The alarm clock goes off at six o’clock)
Narrator: It’s another beautiful day Julie wakes up at the six o’clock She walks to the bathroom to wash her face, but there’s something wrong…(Julie tries every way to wash off the mask)
Narrator: She tries warm water, hot water, and cold water Use her fingers, a sponge, even her toothbrush! The rock hard and bright green mask stays well on her face She couldn’t even move her mouth to speak (Julie wants to speak but she can’t She runs to her parents’ room with the jar of mask)
Narrator: She goes to her parents’ room and wakes them up
(Julie wakes her parents up Her mom opens her eyes and screams)
Mom: Aaaargh! (Waking up her father)
Father: Julie, is that you (Julie nods) What is that on your face
Julie: Grgmmf…hrmmphgh…gh (Julie shows her parents the mask jar Then they understand)
Mom: You silly girl, can you follow the simple instruction Don’t you do experiments in science any more or what
Julie: Gffrr…
Dad: Right Get dressed, Julie You’re going to school I’m sure the mask will come off sooner or later
Jule: HHRGGHHDD!!
Mom: Yes, dear Be patient
Narrator: Julie couldn’t believe her ears School! Looking like a green monster How could she face her classmates today
Scene 4
Classmate A: Look at that Is that Julie
Classmate B: Oh, my god She looks so funny!
Classmate A: Yeah, How could she come to school like this
Classmate B: She’s just like the green giant—Hulk (They both laugh at Julie)
Debbie: You look like the Ness Monster! Can we call you Nessie (Two girls burst into a laugh)
(The whole class start laughing Then the first class bell rings)
Teresa: Listen Nessie, your face is green, my T-shirt’s pink and Debbie’s jeans are blue We can’t possibly sit together today!
(They both laugh and walk away Cathy sees that scene)
Cathy: Hi, Julie There’s a seat next to me, if you want (They go to the back of the classroom and sit down)
Cathy: Hey, come on, silly Don’t cry because of them They’re just stupid
(Julie can’t help stop, and salty tears run down her face Cathy starts smiling and gets a mirror out her bag)
Cathy: Look, Julie!
Julie: NNNGGGG!(She doesn’t want to look at her horrible green face)
Cathy: Look! (Julie looks into the mirror) The salt in your tears is reacting with the mask, you see A simple chemical reaction Can you speak now
Julie: Yes! Yes, I can Oh Cathy, thank you so much I’m so sorry I was horrible to you yesterday
Cathy: Don’t worry, Julie Now do you understand how I felt
Julie: Hmm, Terrible Oh no, here comes Doctor Murphy I haven’t done my homework!
Cathy: Here you are, Julie, you can copy mine
Julie: Oh thanks a lot, Cath You are too good to me How can you ever forgive me
~The End~
不满意，自己找去：http://wwwniuchanet/Article/eng/Indexhtml
白 :Long ago, there lived a girl Her mather had died and her father had married again,His new wife had two daugters They are so bad as their mother The poor girl had to work day and night She must sleep in the kitchen She weared drity clothes All of them called her cinders for Cinderella However, we’ll show you a different play today
(灰姑娘昂首挺胸帅气十足地上场)
旁白 ：She is so strong, and smart Especially she is good at sport
Now, she is running for the 100 meter race(灰姑娘冲刺,旁边老师读秒:11’9)
Now, she is playing basketball(灰姑娘以一敌众,轻松灌篮)
Now,she is practicing Chinese gongfu(灰姑娘打拳,对手倒)
This is her----Cinderella
灰姑娘(怒,看旁白) :Do you finish
旁白 :Ok(结巴)continue, even she is perfect, she still can’t escape the poor life, Why That is-----
继母(假装洗衣服) :How cold the water! I’m too old to do anything, My leg is so painful
(灰姑娘默,从继母手中拿过洗衣盆)
(一姐将盆碗碰得乱响灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过盆碗)
(一姐手持针线缝衣,刺手,尖叫—灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过衣服)
第一幕
(灰姑娘在帮后母按摩肩膀)
二姐(奔入,扬动手中传单) :Mom, Mom, Look! There are some leaflets I got them on the street
The King is having a party The Prince will look for a wife
一姐(托腮) :I must be choosen, I am the most beautiful girl in the world
二姐(凭空跳舞) :No, Not you I have the charming shape, I am the Queen
(两姐争吵起来,继母从女儿手中拿过传单,亲吻)
继母 :Oh, baby Stop You two are the most beautiful girls in our country He will probably choose one of you Come on , make up yourself We haven’t enough time!(瞪灰姑娘)Cinderella, what are you doing Come here, help your sisters!
灰姑娘 :OK, I will But, mom, can I go to the party tonight I want to ------
(三人敛神)
一姐 :Oh, my God! I forgot Tim’s homework He gave us a lot of homework I can’t finish, what should I do
二姐(拿书,指,附和) :Oh, Yes, Yes Look, execise A, excise B, excise C, excise D, excise E, Oh, planning tree, essay, study plan------(偷瞄灰姑娘,哭)Oh, my God! Oh, my party! My Prince! My happyness! and the country’s future!
灰姑娘(慌乱,安慰) :My sisters, don't cry! I always do the homework for you, of course tonight!
(母女三人一通忙乱后) : Goodbye, our lively girl!
第二幕
(魔女骑着一把几乎掉光了的扫把登场)
旁白 :Oh, 哈里波特!
(魔女撞到灰姑娘)
灰姑娘(怒) :Who are you
魔女(得意) :I am the best witch, and the most beautiful witch I can give you all the thing you wish
灰姑娘 : Really Do you kown King’s party I want to go, but------(低头看自己的破衣服)
魔女(大笑) :Don’t worry It is easy for me! Look, clothes, shose,car-----
灰姑娘(面露欣喜,扑向鞋子) :Oh, how beautiful glass shoses!
魔女 :Wear it, and go !
第三幕
(富丽堂皇的大厅里,音乐飘扬,人声鼎沸女士们翘首以待)
侍卫(击杖) :Welcome the Prince
(鼓掌,欢呼)
国王(严肃) : Please be quiet! As everybody knows, today I will chooes a beautiful, slim, homorous, and long hair girl for my son----(转身,指向王子),handsome, strong, tall, and brave!
(王子做害羞状)
众女士 :How lively! How handsome! (做陶醉状,冲向前,将王子团团围住)
(此时,飞出一女,持扇 “杀出一条血路”)
(王子与灰姑娘共舞,突然手机铃声响起)
王子 :Who’s phone
灰姑娘 :Oh, it’s my phone!(掏手机边跳舞,边接电话) This is Cinderella, speaking!
魔女 :It 12’clock, game will be over, come back quickly!Or you’ll change back!(开始敲钟)
灰姑娘 :Oh, I must go!(慌忙中跑,掉了一只鞋)
王子(检起鞋,追) :Wait! You forget give me you name, and you phone number!
王子(注视姑娘远去,悲情) :I’ve lost her!
第四幕
旁白 : Since the party, Prince fall in love with Cinderella, the Prince decided to look for the mysterious girl He issued a proclamation, “Whoever the glass shoe fits, shall be wife to the Prince!”
(王子带着士兵到处找人试鞋)
士兵 :Please try the shoe!(女士甲试鞋) Oh, your foot is too big!
士兵 :Please try the shoe!(女士乙试鞋) Oh, my God, what a terrible smell! Of coures not you !
旁白 :A t lat, the Prince come to Cinderella ‘s home
(两姐站在门口,花痴状) :Oh, the Prince is coming, he is so handsome! He is so cool!
士兵(拿着鞋) :Please try the galss shoe
(两姐妹正抢): Oh, it is my shoe! ------Oh, it is my shoe!
(士兵夺过鞋,递给大姐): You first!(大姐拿过鞋,却怎么也穿不进去)
士兵 : Stop doing that You foot is too long, you will break the shoe!
二姐(得意) :I said, it is my shoe(抢过鞋,试穿,费了九牛二虎之力终于穿上,走开来)
二姐 : , too small!(甩掉鞋,蹲下揉脚,鞋飞到灰姑娘身上)
继母(怒吼) : Why are you here Back to kitchen! Wash the dishes!
士兵 : Wait! Every girl must try !
继母 : She is drity! It is couldn’t be her!(灰姑娘默,轻松的穿上了鞋)
王子(欢呼) :Oh, it fits! I found you !(王子和灰姑娘拥在一起)
旁白 :The Prince was delighted to found her, and on a bright sunny day, he and Cinderella were merried They lived happily ever after!
剧本杀英语：
剧本杀起源于19世纪就盛行的英国派对游戏“murder mystery game”（谋杀之谜），可以称得上是一个舶来品（exotica）了，进入国内市场后，不断为其本土化，也就演变成现在大家耳熟能详的“剧本杀”了。
作为舶来品，“剧本杀”拥有了几种不同的英文翻译方式：
1Murder Mystery Game
适用于国内只有推理本的初期阶段，经过这几年的发展，国内出现了阵营本、机制本、沉浸本、情感本、还原本等等，这些概念都已不是“Murder Mystery”能完全表达囊括的。
2Live Action Role Playing (LARP) games
这则是一种更解释性的翻译——实景角色扮演游戏。LARP也是一个更大的概念，根据需要动作的分量，LARP可以大致划分为两类，一类是剧场式（Theater style）简称TS；另一类为实战式（Live combat）简称LC，剧本杀就属于TS。
3Script Murder
媒体报道大多都采用了这种直译方式——角色扮演谋杀解谜活动。script作名词表示“剧本；手稿；脚本”。而script murder指集悬疑、推理、剧情等元素于一身的“剧本杀”。
Cast
Skipping Class(逃课)4-6人剧本
Anita: Never understands why students like to skip classes
Kevin: Treats “skipping classes” as the principle of university life
Ken: Eager to skip classes but dares not to do it
Jason: Always commits himself not to skip classes
Steven: Always gives himself a good excuse for skipping class
Rita: A professional class skipper
Scene I
(Anita, Kevin, Ken, Jason, Steven, and Rita are all Tunghai University students They are good friends One day, Ken and Jason meet on the way to the classroom)
Ken: Why are you late And, you just missed the last class The teacher gave us the main topics for the mid-term examination
Jason: Oh, shoot! I just missed it Would you lend me your notes so I can make a copy
Ken: Sure if you give me a good reason why you missed the class You promised me that you would be in class on time today
Jason: Believe me, I would like to keep my word The problem is that I have the “Business Management” test today and I was up studying for it till three o’clock this morning Then I fell asleep and woke up at ten o’clock this morning
Ken: You studied until three o’clock this morning Why What did you do yesterday afternoon I know you were free from four o’clock on yesterday
Jason: Well, I met one of my very old friends on line and we just talked too long…
Ken: For God’s sake! Don’t you care about next week’s mid-term examination
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Scene II
(Anita, Steven and Kevin are talking to one another in front of a classroom And, Anita is trying to prevent Steven and Kevin from cutting the next class)
Anita: Hey, we’ll have the “Business Management” class in a few minutes Where are you going Don’t tell me that you are going to argue with Jason
Steven: I will do anything for my good friend Of course I am going to argue with the guy who gave my good friend a hard time
Anita: You always like to get involved in someone else’s business You’ll get yourself in trouble Don’t you know it
Kevin: Anita, don’t be upset with him He will not listen to you Just leave him alone By the way, I am still waiting for your decision Are you coming with me to the concert tomorrow
Anita: Oh, I am sorry that I almost forgot it What time tomorrow
Kevin: Two o’clock I cannot wait to see my adorable superstar – Jolin Oh, how wonderful!
Anita: wait a minute We have Calculus class tomorrow afternoon Are you out of your mind
Kevin: Well, I’m not Yet I think we can just copy the notes from someone else
Anita: No, this is a very important class And you would never understand it without listening to the lecture
Kevin: To me it makes no difference Even if I were in the class I would never understand what the teacher is talking about Besides, who likes to look at the old baldhead
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Scene III
(After Calculus class, Anita is on the way to the ST building At the same time, Rita is walking to the ST building from the dorm They meet in front of the laboratory)
Rita: Here I am Look, I did what I promised I am a good girl, not skipping classes
Anita: What are you talking about This is the 5th class You skipped the first four classes this morning Yesterday you promised that you would not skip any class
Rita: Did I We don’t have any class in the morning but we’re packed in the afternoon on Wednesdays
Anita: I beg your pardon Today is Thursday and we have classes the whole day Besides, didn’t you meet us this morning while we were going out to class
Rita: I thought you were going to the library
Anita: You are loopy now because you’ve skipped too, too many classes
Rita: Why did you say so I know that we will have the Computer Program test tomorrow
Anita: You are incurable The test was this morning!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene IV
(Ken and Rita are talking to each other They are talking about how to skip a class )
Ken: I wonder why your Calculus professor never takes attendance Yet, every time I skipped class, my professor always knew I was absent I think I am really unlucky
Rita: well, you’ll appreciate what I’m going to tell you now, my three very good suggestions
Ken: What are they
Rita: Now lend me your ears – First of all, whether you skip the class or not, you’ll never pass the course
Ken: How do you know that I will not pass
Rita: Calculus is extremely difficult I don’t believe you can pass it
Ken: Maybe you are right What else
Rita: Before you skip the class you should treat everyone nicely And after that, you should try to flatter your professor
Ken: Why
Rita: Well if you treat the classmates nicely, they will help you sign your name on the attendance sheet And if you flatter your professor properly, you may ask the professor to pass you Lastly – To skip the classes successfully you cannot skip too many classes or too few
Ken: What do you mean Not too many and not too few
Rita: You need good weather for skipping classes so you can go out to fool around And then you need good timing so you can go to the newly opened internet café that is on discount Finally you need good relationships with the classmates so they can cover it up for you
Ken: You are a genius
Rita: I am just very professional
Ken: I see now I will try sometimes Hah, Hah, Hah!!!
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Scene V
(Ken meets Kevin at the parking lot)
Kevin: It’s time for the English class Why are you here
Ken: I don’t want to go to English class I want to cut the class
Kevin: Why
Ken: Because someone told me cutting classes can be fun
Kevin: That’s right I will show you how much fun it is to cut classes
Ken: Ok Let’s go
(Kevin and Ken cut the class and go out to have fun with girls And both of them will fail the English class Therefore next semester they will see Jean, their English teacher, again)
英语话剧如下：
旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen She had a pretty daughter named Snow White Soon after the child was born, the queen died The queen married another queen The stepmother was very jealous
从前，有一个王后。她有一个漂亮的女儿，名叫白雪公主。孩子出生后不久，女王就去世了。女王又娶了一位女王。继母非常嫉妒。
She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on
她给白雪公主穿上破布，强迫她整天整夜做家务，比如扫地、拖地、打扫卫生、挑水等等。
白雪：（Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on)
（扫地、拖地、清洁、提水等）
皇后：I’m the new queen I’m very beautiful you see If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her I have a magic mirror If I want to know something, It will tell me surelyNow, mirror, mirror, come here!
我是新女王。我很漂亮。你看。如果有人比我漂亮，我就杀了她。我有一面魔镜。如果我想知道什么，它肯定会告诉我的。现在，镜子，镜子，过来！
魔镜：Yes, I’m coming Your Majesty! What do you want to know
是的，我来了。陛下！你想知道什么？
皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wallWho is the fairest of the all
镜子，镜子，在墙上。谁是最美丽的？
魔镜：Yes Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I thinkBut there is a young lady She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebonyShe is much more beautiful than you
对陛下！我想你是所有人中最美丽的。但是有一位年轻的女士。她像雪一样白，像玫瑰一样红，像乌木一样黑。她比你漂亮得多。
英语话剧剧本：搞笑英语话剧：三笑三国 （7个人表演）
开场介绍： Ladies and gentlemen,let me introduct the actor The first is zhaoyun,he is the most actor tonightand his black brother zhangfei ,and there boss liubei don't forgot the other side Mr cao,and his adviser JiangGan,and the most strong XiaHou DunAt last,don't forget who behind the scenes ME----the Director
第一幕：人物，赵云 夏侯惇 曹操 蒋干
旁白：就在刚才不久，一个黑大汉从曹操军中救出刘备之子刘阿斗，现在正向这里杀过来，他就是张飞！！！（赵云出场）Not too long ago,a black general saved the son of LiuBei ,Liu A dounow,he is coming His name is Zhangfei
赵云：no！本人姓赵名云，乃常山子龙也！ no! my family name is zhao my middle name is yun and my given name is zilong ~
（赵云从背后拿出一坨布，代表阿斗）
赵云：看！这就是主公的最后一点骨血！刘阿斗！我从火场之中把他救出，而我自己的脸却早已……唉……化作焦炭！（顾影自怜状）look! this is the last blood of the boss ! liu e dou i took him out from the fire ,but my face hane already ai ~
（夏侯敦挺着枪呈猫腰状杀出）
夏侯敦：小贼，莫跑，要不然我就大开杀戒了（冲到） Children， stop there or i will kill you
（赵云左手抱阿斗，右手与之搏斗）
赵云：可恶！居然敢偷袭我！fuck,!! you bitch dare to attack me
（二人装腔作势打斗数招）
赵云：看我九阴白骨爪！！stop!! wait!!! one two three nine dark white bone fingers!!
夏侯敦：唔！（倒地） oh my gad i'm over
赵云：此地不宜久留，还是快去寻主公！（下）yeah~ bitch i will go to look for my boss , goodbye~
（曹操、蒋干二人上）
曹操：没想到我们初次出兵便杀得敌人望风而逃！真可谓出师未捷身先死。长使英雄泪满襟！ I didn't expect that we can beat the enemy with our first attack
It reminds me of a poem, "Dead Before the Ship Even Sank Long the hero Tearful"
蒋干：丞相，您说这话，真不见得怎么吉利。 Prime minister,It does not sound good about what you have said;
（曹操险些被地上的夏侯敦绊倒）
曹操：咦？这是谁扔的西瓜皮？（转身，看见倒在地上的夏侯敦）Huh Who threw the banana rind
曹操：是夏侯爱卿。难道他又在搞什么行为艺术？？Do not Xiahou Dun
Is he engaged in what is called performance art
（蒋干上前将夏侯敦一顿拍打，二人站起）
曹操：夏侯爱卿为何要在地上装西瓜皮？？Why do you want to install banana rind on the ground
夏侯敦：有一人脸如黑炭 手抱孩子there is a very black people witha baby in his band
蒋干：是敌人的保姆！还带个孩子！！！it Is enemy's maid with a child in his arm
曹操：那你呢？What did you do
夏侯敦：i i i…… i rushed to him and fight with him i'mfightting fightting fightting我 我…… 我冲上去与之打斗 打 打 打
曹操：然后呢？What then
蒋干：丞相，看来是夏侯将军杀退了敌人！ Prime minister, it is likely that general Xiahou has defeated the enemy
夏侯敦：唔唔！（手势如下：指指门外，右手作“九”的样子，随即作全身发冷状，然后指向自己的衣服，再指向曹操，作爪击状）
曹操：然后呢？ Then what happened
夏侯敦：no no no I was defeated he used the nine cloud white bone finger ,it's so terrible
（曹操、蒋干二人将夏侯敦拉起）
曹操：如此看来，敌人应该还没有走远。咱们乘胜追击！（慷慨状）It seems that the enemy should not go far Let's run after them
蒋干：有时候我真的很佩服丞相您这乐观的心理……（赞同状） Sometimes I really admires prime minister very much about your optimistic psychology
夏侯敦：唔！唔唔唔~！（抡起两拳，作欲与敌人搏斗状）
（三人下）
第二幕:人物：刘备 张飞 诸葛亮 赵云
（刘备、张飞、诸葛亮三人上）
旁白：这是的刘备一行人正在军营外观看敌情~~~LiuBei and his team are looking something out of his military camp
、
（诸葛亮走在前面，张飞、刘备二人紧跟其后）
诸葛亮：（转头）主公啊，按理说是您走先啦！（恭敬状）old liu ah,you should walk in front of us! Is not it
刘备：不啦，军师您身后有好大块荫凉，躲在这里避避暑也不错。No，it's very cool that I stand just behind you，I can avoid summer heat
诸葛亮：（眺望状）主公，如果我所料不错，现在马上就要下雨了！liu ah,come here! I tell you a secret! I think it is about to rain!
刘备：先生神算！人所不及！不知先生如何知道将要下雨？great prediction！No one can compare with you！just wonder how do you know it's going to rain？
诸葛亮：首先，天气预报说今天有雨；其次，（以手指前方）看天，那边有一块黑云来了！First,the weather report told us it is going to rain today;second,look at the sky,so many dark clouds are coming!
（赵云上）
张飞：哇！那就是子龙啊，想不到这一会不见子龙就换了个新桌面啊！Ha! That is person who called long ah, I could not believe that you have changd a new tabletop without a minute!
（张飞迎上）
张飞：子龙！ long
赵云：翼德救我！ help!!! brother three
（张飞下）
赵云：主公！云殊死力战，方保得小主人在此！只是这许久不见啼哭，怕是已经……（悲愤状，取出布包，打开并捧着） boss, i have trid my best to protect the little boss but it have a long time to hear nothing i am afraid
赵云：kao！这小没良心的，居然还能睡的着！就跟他爹一样！！ oh ~ shithow can the son of bitch get in asleepjust like his father
刘备：咳咳！
（赵云转身面向刘备）
诸葛亮：子龙，不是我说你，你嘴上就是少个把门儿的，总不能啥实话都往外说啊！？Zilong,not I tell you, although it is true,you should not say it out!
（刘备怒视诸葛亮，诸葛亮恍如不知，赵云上前，将阿斗递给刘备，刘备捧着阿斗）
刘备：为了你这倒楣孩子，几乎损我一员大将啊！我还留着你赶什么啊，我摔死你吧！！because of you，I almost lose a brave general！Why do I keep you alive，let me kill you！！（阿斗摔下）
（赵云上前，对准阿斗狂踹数脚，诸葛亮上前拉住，赵云始终作势欲踢，诸葛亮用身体压住赵云后，走上前去一脚将阿斗踢飞）
旁白：从今以后，阿斗的智力便出现了明显的发育迟缓……This is why liu a dou is so foolish that lost his country
赵云：咦？怎么不见关二哥呢？ yi ~~ where is brothe two GuanYu
刘备：二弟昨天为军师摆下一个八卦阵去，不过在冲出去撞马的时候闪着腰了，现在还在休养呢！：He layout the BaGuaZhen for military adviser yesterday, but when he rushed out , he get his waist twisted, now he stay in bed
诸葛亮：哎，太糟糕了，看我，多健康，多健壮！告诉他，多喝三鹿奶粉！（自恋状）！Oh,It is so bad! Look at me,so healthy,so strong!tell him to drink more sanlu milk powder!
赵云：就给这孩子喝成这样儿了！！！（走上前，抚摸诸葛亮，做怜惜状） so you drink to be a foolish
曹操（在台下）：啊~！！！（惨烈地）
刘备：难道三弟又重操旧业了？咱们快去看看！Did zhangfei return to one's former career ？Go to see what happen
（三人下）
第三幕： 人物 张飞 曹操 夏侯 蒋干 刘备 诸葛亮
旁白：时间拨回到三分钟之前，张飞大战长坂坡……Go back to three minutes before the time set aside，zhangfei fight with caocao's army on changbanpo
（张飞上，在台上转一圈后，如京剧拿柱般亮相，定格）
曹操和蒋干：嘿嘿嘿嘿！（奸笑中）
夏侯敦：唔唔唔唔……（奸笑中）
（三人奸笑上台）代写剧本 wwwjiaokeducom
张飞：哇！火腿肠你回来拉！！ Wa!You, The hot dog, come back !
夏侯敦：我靠，又一个黑人，黑人都是很牛x的，我怕了。。。 black man come again ， Blacks are very powerful，i'm afaid
曹操：阁下是何人，何以竟有如此美妙的声音！Excuse me May I know your name What a wonderful voice you have!
张飞：我便是那燕（yān）人张翼德！（咬牙）I am Zhang Yide from jingdu! (clenches teeth)
曹操：阉人？？原来只是一个太监……夏侯敦，上去解决他！
You are the so called coward,aren't youxiahou,beat it!
（夏侯敦低头猫腰冲出）
夏侯敦：唔！唔~唔！
（二人打在一起）（定格）
蒋干：丞相，这一仗咱们必输，一会还有桥断水倒流呢！快叫夏侯将军下来吧。 Prime minister, we must have lose this Campaign , the bridge will also cut off the water soon!Let's call Xiahou general to get down quickly
曹操：你怎么知道？How dou you know it
蒋干：《真三国无双叁》，长坂的任务啊！！ "Really,it is the game's duty of Three countries Unparalleled Three"!!
曹操：干啊，我看你是太沉迷于网络游戏了。这样既浪费时间又上海身体，你还是听为丞相的一句话吧！珍爱生命，远离三俗啊！
I think you are too addicted to online games What a waste of time, and It's harmful,listen to me ,You must take good care of yourself
（张飞与夏侯敦二人继续，张飞一枪击中夏侯敦）
夏侯敦：oh my gad i am over again又被打败了 （蒋干上前将夏侯敦拖回）
曹操：唉，如今这世道变了，太监都这么厉害啦！？
Why does that coward become so brave
张飞：曹贼听着！今日汝等必不能生过此桥！ cao ,stops talking! Today you all can't pass this bridge with a live one!
曹操：汝休得猖狂！今日要不是我手下典韦身死，许诸拉稀，于禁肺炎，李典麻疹，文聘肝癌，张辽痔疮，才不会输给你！shut up!If general dianwei was still alive,We would not be defeated!
张飞：你手下终究无人可用！啊，面对此景次请，我真想赋诗一首——Nobody may go to battle for you ,Facing this scenery,i really want to sing a songer, on On （音乐起）only you ~~~~~only……you……
（夏侯敦跃起）
夏侯敦：唔唔唔……（以手捂耳，跑下）
曹操：啊！（惨厉的叫声，并以手捂耳）
蒋干：啊！（惨厉的叫声，并以手捂耳）
曹操：这难道就是传说中的门得尔松的c大调《鬼叫》协奏曲！何以如此震撼！（惊惶状）Why is this so shocking!
蒋干：（一手指张飞）快看！丞相！桥断了！水也开始倒流啦！！（转过身去，以手捂耳） Look, Prime minister! The bridge broke! The water also starts to flow backwards（音效：山崩地裂之声）
曹操：aaaaaaaaaa（痛苦吐血状）（定格）
（诸葛亮、刘备、赵云三人上）
诸葛亮：别唱啦！再唱下去就把曹操给唱死啦！Do not sing more,okif you go on singing,CaoCao will die because of your song!
刘备：三弟快打住！！（以手捂耳）Stop,stop！！（以手捂耳）
张飞：only you ~~~~~only……you……（余音不绝）
刘备：子龙，快把三弟扛回去。Zilong，carry zhangfei back quickly。
赵云：好的！ ok
（赵云上前，以手捂住张飞的嘴，扛走，张飞依旧唱个不停）
（张飞、赵云二人下）
旁白：从此以后有一首歌传唱至今 经久不衰，叫做：only you~~~~ since then, a song become very very famousThe name is
《Only You》(歌声再次响起，众人谢幕~~)。
Happiness or not, lies in a shirt, lies in a shirt wean by a happy man But the happy man that the king has found out was pruning the vines merrily Does he have a happy shirt Please listen to The Happy Man’s Shirt
旁白：从前有位国王，他有个独生儿子，若掌上明珠，可是王子总是闷闷不了，每天在窗前呆望天空。
Aside: A king had an only son that he thought the world of But this prince was always unhappy He would spend days on end at his window staring into space
国王：哎呀，你到底缺什么呢？哪儿不称心呢？
King: Oh, What on earth do you lack What's wrong with you"
王子：爸爸，我自己也搞不清楚。
Prince: I don't even know myself, Father"
国王：哦！你恋爱啦！哎呀，如果你喜欢哪个姑娘，告诉我，我会为你操办的，让你跟她结婚，无论是哪个最强大的国家公主，还是世上最贫寒的农家姑娘，我都可以办的到。
King: Are you in love If there's a particular girl you fancy, tell me, and I'll arrange for you to marry her, no matter whether she's the daughter of the most powerful king on earth or the poorest peasant girl alive!
王子：不，爸爸，我没在恋爱。
Prince: No, Father, I'm not in love
旁白：国王千方百计地想使儿子快乐起来，可无济于事，王子的脸庞失去了往日光彩，国王发布了昭示板，于是一些最有学问的哲学家，博士，教授，从世界各地纷纷到来，国王让他们看了王子，并征询他们的意见，这些聪明的学者思考了一阵后，回来见国王说
Aside: The king tried in every way imaginable to cheer him up, but day by day the rosy hue drained from the prince's face The king issued a decree, and from every corner of the earth came the most learned philosophers, doctors, and professors The king showed them the prince and asked for their advice wise men withdrew to think, and then returned to the king
学者甲：嗯，殿下，我们仔细地考虑了王子得 情况，还研究了星象，我们认为你必须做这样一件事，找个幸福的人，一个完全幸福得人，把您得儿子的衬衣和他的衬衣调换一下。
Wise men A: Majesty, we have given the matter close thought and we have studied the stars Here's what you must do Look for a happy man, a man who's happy through and through, and exchange your son's shirt for his"
旁白：当天国王就派出大使，到世界各地去寻找幸福的人。一个神父被招来件国王。
Aside: That same day the king sent ambassadors to all parts of the world in search of the happy man A priest was taken to the king
国王：你幸福吗 ？
King: Are you happy"
神父：是的，我确实很幸福，陛下。
Priest: Yes, indeed, Majesty
国王：很好，你做我的主教怎么样？
King: Fine How would you like to be my bishop
神父：啊！陛下，我求之不得啊！
Priest: Oh, Majesty, if only it were so!"
国王：滚，给我滚得远远得 ，我要找得是自身感到幸福的人，而不是总想得寸进尺的人。
King: Away with you! Get out of my sight! I'm seeking a man who's happy just as he is, not one who's trying to better his lot
旁白：于是，又重新开始搜寻，不久，国王听说有位邻国国王，人们都说他是个真正幸福的人，他有个贤惠美丽的妻子，而且子孙满堂，他制服了所有的人，国家康泰安宁。于是，国家又有了希望，马上派使臣去件他，想向他要一件衬衣，邻国国王接见使臣们说：
Aside: Thus the search resumed, and before long the king was told about a neighboring king, who everybody said was a truly happy man He had a wife as good as she was beautiful and a whole slew of children He had conquered all his enemies, and his country was at peace Again hopefully, the king immediately sent ambassadors to him to ask for his shirt The neighboring king received the ambassadors and said”
邻国国王：不错，凡是人们想要的东西，我的确都有了，不过我仍然满腹忧愁啊！因为总有一天，我不得不扔不下在一切，离开人世，哎啊 ，为这事，我晚上连觉也睡不着呢！
Neighboring king: Yes, indeed, I have everything anybody could possibly want But at the same time I worry because I'll have to die one day and leave it all I can't sleep at night for worrying about that!
旁白：使臣们想，还是别带回这个国王的衬衣为妙。国王没办法，便去打猎散心，他开枪打中了一只野兔，但只是伤了它，野兔带着三条腿奔跑着，国王追赶着野兔把随从们远远地抛在后面，在森林外的旷野里，国王听到有人在唱歌，他便收住脚步。
Aside: The ambassadors thought it wiser to go home without this man's shirt
At his wit's end, the king went hunting He fired at a hare but only wounded it, and the hare scampered away on three legs The king pursued it, leaving the hunting party far behind him 0ut in the open field he heard a man singing a refrain The king stopped in his tracks
国王：这位唱歌的人，一定是位幸福的人。
King: Whoever sings like that is bound to be happy!
旁白：歌声把他引到一座葡萄园，在那，他发现一个小伙子，在修剪着一个葡萄藤
Aside: The song led him into a vineyard, where he found a young man singing and pruning the vines
小伙子：您好啊，陛下。这么早，您就到乡下来了。
The youth:Good day, Majesty, So early and already out in the country
国王：天哪，你愿意我把你带到京都去吗？你将成为我的朋友。
King: Bless you! Would you like me to take you to the capital You will be my friend
小伙子：多谢您了，陛下。这种事，我根本不想。即使罗马教皇与我换个位子，我也不干。
The youth: Much obliged, Majesty, but I wouldn't even consider it I wouldn't even change places with the Pope
国王：为什么呢？像你这样能干的小伙子……
King: Why not Such a fine young man like you…
小伙子：不，不，跟您说吧，我对我现在的一切感到心满意足了，其他毫无所求。
The youth: NO, no, I tell you I'm content with just what I have and want nothing more
国王：啊！我终于找到了一个幸福的人！听着小伙子，帮我一下吧。
King: A happy man at last! Listen, young man Do me a favor
小伙子：只要能做到的，陛下，我一定尽力效劳。
The youth: With all my heart, Majesty, if I can
国王：等等。
King: Wait just a minute
旁白：他再也按奈不住内心的喜悦，跑回去对他的随从说。
Aside: said the king, who, unable to contain his joy any longer, ran to get his retinue
国王：快，跟我来，我的儿子有救了，我的儿子有救了！
King: Come with me! My son is saved! My son is saved!
旁白：接着，他带着他们来到小伙子身边。
Aside: And he took them to the young man
国王：我的好小伙子，不管你要什么，我都会给你的，但是你得给我，给我，你……
King: My dear lad, I'll give you whatever you want! But give me…give me…"
小伙子：给您什么啊，陛下？
The youth: What, Majesty
国王：我的儿子快要死了，只有你能救他，快过来。
King: My son is dying! Only you can save him Come here!
旁白：国王一把抓住小伙子，去解他的上衣扣子。突然，国王停住了，垂下了双手，这个幸福的人没有穿衬衣！
Aside: The king grabbed him and started unbuttoning the youth's jacket All of a sudden he stopped, and his arms fell to his sides The happy man wore no shirt
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