我儿子跟我的脾气不知道怎么回事，一说话就要吵架，我该怎么办。

一、共情：非常理解您的感受，相信您为了教育孩子，尝试了各种方法，但孩子就是没法听我们的话，这让您也感到比较沮丧。

二、具体化：您可以具体描述下孩子是怎样脾气大？以及平常家长都是怎样与孩子沟通的吗？

三、探讨问题的成因，并具体分析：

a “发脾气”这件事情是有效的：无论对孩子的态度是软还是硬，孩子在与爸妈的沟通中习得了“发脾气”这种态度对父母是有效的，所以会一再运用。

解决：无论是发脾气、耍小性子、还是哭闹等，家长如果减少对这些行为的关注度，那么孩子自然不会用这类行为来应对。但不关注，并不等于完全“漠视”，家长也要保持对孩子相对的关心，在孩子“闹情绪”结束后，再和孩子一起探讨应该做什么，怎么做。

b 经常用负面语言教导，引得孩子逆反：如果家庭中父母对孩子评价、批评过多，不给孩子表达自己想法的机会，也可导致孩子不与他们交流。

解决：减少对孩子直接的评价，减少用负向语言批评孩子，和孩子站在同一层面上沟通，先建立与孩子的信任感。

c父母过于强势与控制：无论是“软话”还是“硬化”，父母无非都是想要告诉孩子“你得按照我说的做”，这就让孩子有很不好的感觉。

解决：接纳孩子，允许孩子表达自己的观点，即使孩子表达的父母不认可，也要给予孩子表达自己观点的权利，并认可他有自己的想法这件事，再讨论问题应该如何解决。

争吵

在小学一年级时，我和高子轩吵了架，那时我才刚刚认识同学，高子轩在我的后座，我们因为一个小事吵了起来。

那时我在倒数第二座，他在倒数第一座，因为教室很小

后面很挤，高子轩让我往前一点，可我也没有地方，我说：“我有没有地方了!”可不知高子轩怎么了，就很生气的说:“行

,地方全给你行啦吧！”可我很冤枉，我有哪里做错了吗？整整一天我们俩都没说话。我很很生气。我觉得他也太会冤枉人了吧。但是让我下个不到的事发生了。他居然主动向我道歉，我们又重新做好朋友，以后再也没吵架。

以后高子轩成了我最好的朋友，我们天天在一块玩。因为这次争吵使我们加深了感情，我真快乐呀！

M: Get me a beer !F: Hey, Mark ! Get your own beer ! Can't you see I am busy now ! I am not your babysitter, for christ sake !M: Are you tired of me Yes, I think you are ! You can't wait to see your Mr Handsome, is that right F: Get off my face ! You bloody idiot ! If you are looking for a flight, do it against wall ! I am fed up with your nonsense !M: How dare you talk to me like this Get out of my house ! Get out, now !

A Great

B what are you doing

A I see you left me no pizza

B I just lit that candle I like the way it smells

A wellI don't did you leave me any dinner at all

B I assumed you were eating with Michael

A does it not occur to youThat two people in this house need to eat

B you konw That if you would commuicate with meMay be I could have something for you

A why Do you have to make everything difficult I'm carrying the weight around here while you're off doing your own thing

A Excause me I'm working to pay this mortage, and I pay for both of the cars

B yeah, and that's all you do I pay all  of our bills with my salary

A which you agreed to Do that's fair Do you not like your car

B caleb who takes care of this house me who washes all the clothes me who gets all the groceries me not to mention I'm helping my parents every weekend I've got all this pressure on methe only thing you Do for anybody is for youself

A let me tell you you don't konw the frist thing about pressure all right you think I put out house fires for my self or rush to car wrecks at 2am for myself or pull a child's body out of a lake for myself you have no idea what I go through

B yeah but what do you do around here other than watch TV and waste time on the internet if looking at that trash is how you get fulfilled that's fine but I will not compete with it

A well I sure don't get if from you

B and you won't because you care more about saving for your stupid boatand pleasing yourself than you ever did about me

A stut up! I'm sick of you!    you disrespectful ungrateful selfish woman!

B I'm not selfish

A how dare you saythat

A you constantly nag me! and you drain the life out of me! I'm tired of it! if you can't give me the respect I deservelook at me!when what's the point of this marriage

B I want out I just want out

A if you want out that's fine with me!

Father:Peter,what are you doingthe final exam is coming,you can't watch TV

Mother:you need to put your hear into your study

Peter:why don't let do these and those thingsmy life is too bored,I hate you

Father:Dear son,we do everthing that is good for you

Mother:as a student,you should put study in the first place

Peter:Only do l study,nothing,oh,I will go mad,I 'm more stupid than before

Father:you can't watch TV used computer

Mother:you always play computer games ,it 's harmful to you

Peter:you don't let play basetball again,but it's good for my health