搞笑英文小笑话短文故事_儿童英文故事小短文

笑话是民间文学的一个重要门类，是民间文学中令人发笑、给人美感、使人幸福的文字。我分享搞笑英文小笑话短文故事，希望可以帮助大家!

　搞笑英文小笑话短文故事：I love you, too

Boyfriend: I'm not rich and don't have a yacht or convertible like Harry,but I love you, dear

Girlfriend: I love you, too But tell me more about Harry

我也爱你

男朋友：虽然我不象哈里那样有豪华游艇和舒适的生活，但是我爱你，亲爱的。

女朋友：我也爱你。不过你能否告诉我有关哈里的一些情况呢

　搞笑英文小笑话短文故事：The Clever Dog

A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper The family dogbegan to howl along dismally Finally, the father could endure the combination no more andsaid, "Can't you play something the dog doesn't know"

聪明的小狗

一个小男孩在练习小提琴，他的父亲在读报纸。随着小男孩的琴声，家里养的狗也开始高一声低一声的叫起来。最后，小男孩的父亲实在忍不下去了，说，“难道你就不能拉一些狗听不懂的曲子吗”

　搞笑英文小笑话短文故事：Can we have our teacher back

Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school One room was very noisy,so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking He took the boy into anotherroom and stood him in the corner Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first roomand said, "When can we have our teacher back"

能让我们的老师回去吗

有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢”

　搞笑英文小笑话短文故事：A strange call

A Chicago family was having dinner when the phone rung The maid answered and said, "It sureis!" and hung up The same thing happened five minutes later" What's going on" asked thefather

"Some crackpot, " explained the maid, "keeps calling to say, "It's long distance from New York"

奇怪的电话

芝加哥的一家人正在吃晚饭时，电话响了。女仆去接电话并说道，“当然是。”就挂掉了。五分钟后同样的事情发生了。“怎么回事”父亲问道。 “一个疯子，”女仆解释说，“他总是坚持说‘从纽约到这非常远(这是纽约的长途)’。”

今天第一次换版后发贴,都有些找不到北了晕好多功能与原来不一样了

　幽默笑话我们看不少了，可逆看过 英语笑话 故事 吗下面我为大家整理了一些长篇英语笑话故事资料，快跟我一起来看看。

经典长篇英语笑话故事

　1、My Husband Will Be Home Soon

　A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard

　"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face"

　James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"

　"Oh please" the girlfriend asked again, in a y little voice

　"Oh really, I can't," he replies"My wife loves this beard!!"

　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping

　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"

　我丈夫马上就要回来了

　一个已婚男人去 拜访 他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。

　“噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。”

　詹姆斯回答说，“我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的。”

　“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。

　“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜欢这胡子。”

　在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，“噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。”

　2、Be Careful What You Wish For

　A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day

　During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each

　The wife wanted to travel around the world The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand

　Next, it was the husband's turn He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me"

　The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety

　慎重许愿

　一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。

　庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。

　妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。

　接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人长篇英语笑话故事长篇英语笑话故事。”

　仙女拾起了 魔术 棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。

　3、This just in : NEW VIRUS WARNING

　If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it This is the most dangerous Email virus yet

　It will re-write your hard drive Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play

　It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over

　It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic

　Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile It will give you nightmares about circus midgets It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card

　It will seduce your grandmother It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear

　Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub It will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole It is insidious and subtle It is dangerous and terrifying to behold It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve

　这是一个：电脑新病毒的警告

　如果你收到一封主题是“ 倒霉透了”的邮件时，立即删除千万不要阅读。这是迄今最为危险的邮件病毒。

　它会重写你的硬盘，不止这些，还会损坏任何离你电脑很近的磁碟。重置你冰箱的制冷度数让好吃的冰淇淋全部化掉，牛奶也馊掉。它还会让你的所有信用卡磁条失效，更改你在自动提款机上取钱的密码，你录像机上的影像资料也会变得乱七八糟，它还利用子空间场谐波刮坏任何你想听的CD。

　它还会把你的新电话号码告诉你的旧情人，把防冻剂注入到你的鱼缸里，它将喝光你所有的啤酒，然后，当有人上门的时候，将它的臭袜子留在茶几上。

　当你迟到的时候它会藏起你的车钥匙，还会干扰你车内的音响系统，好让你在塞车的时候欣赏沙沙的静电声。

　“倒霉透了”还会把你的洗发水换成脱毛膏，然后把你的脱毛膏换成生发液还始终在你背后与你的现任情人幽会，用你的维萨信用卡支付他们的酒店浪漫费用

　它会色诱你的祖母，不管她在不在人世。这些都显示了此邮件的影响力，它就是这样毁掉了坟墓内外所有美好的事。

　这个邮件会使你患上荷兰榆树病，它会让你的屁股永远放不到马桶座垫上，还会把电吹风插在放满水的浴缸旁边的插座上，它会肆意篡改枕头和床垫的禁止事项，把脱脂牛奶换成全脂牛奶。它躲在暗处，到处写满了它的危险和可怕，不过，它呈现的淡紫色到是相当有趣的。

　4、One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it

　"Oh, that," Frank said "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box" Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad

　"But what about the 10,000 dollars"

　"Every time I got a dozen, I sold them"

　一天，妻子 Sue 在整理床铺时，偶然发现了一个小盒子。出于好奇心，她小心翼翼的打开了盒子，发现里面放了三枚鸡蛋和10000美元钞票。对于相处了20余年丈夫居然对自己隐瞒了此事，她开始感到有些疑惑不安。

　“哦，是这样的，”丈夫 Frank 解释道，“每次我做了对你不忠的事，我就会在这个盒子里放一枚鸡蛋。” Sue 虽然对此感到不很高兴，但是转念又一想20多年的丈夫背着她有婚外情也不过只有三次，想想也不算太坏。

　“那么另外的那10000美元是怎么回事”

　“每当鸡蛋凑够一打，我就卖了换成现金。”

　5、A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help I promised a friend I would meet him an hourago, but I don't know where I am"

　The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude"

　"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist

　"I am," replied the woman "How did you know"

　"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost Frankly, you've not been much help so far"

　The woman below responded, "You must be in management"

　"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know"

　"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"

　一个男人在热气球上，发现自己迷失了方向。他下降高度，下方有一个妇女。他又下降了一点，大声呼喊,"打扰下，你能帮个忙吗，一个小时以前我答应了一个朋友要和他见面，但现在我不知道我身处何地。”

　妇女在下面回答，“你在一个热气球里，大约离地面三十英尺。你在北纬40-41度之间，西经59-60度之间。”

　“你必定是个工程设计师，”气球上的男人说长篇英语笑话故事笑话大全。

　“我是，”女人回答。“你是怎么知道的”

　“是这样，”气球上的男人说“你告诉我的事在技术上都是正确的，但是我无法理解你的看法，事实是我依旧迷失。坦白说，到目前为止你没帮上我多少

　”

　下面的妇女回应道，“你一定是在管理部门工作。”

　“我是，”气球上的男人回答，“这你是怎么知道的”

　“是啊，”妇女说，“你总是不知道你在哪里，也不知道你要去哪里。你的上升，是由于大量的热气。你对别人许下的承诺，你不知道如何履行，而且你还期望在你下面的人会解决你的问题。事实就是在我们见面之前，我们都在完全相同的立场上，可现在，不知怎么地，却成了我的错了。”

　搞笑的长篇英语笑话故事

　1、Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work

　The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on Everything inside them is numbered"

　"I think librarians are the easiest," said the second "When you open them up, all their organs are arranged alphabetically1"

　The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians Their organs are color-coded"

　"You're all wrong," said, the fourth "Lawyers are easiest They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asset are interchangeable"

　四个医生边喝咖啡休息边讨论他们的工作。

　第一个说，“我认为给会计手术最容易,因为他们的器官都有编号。”

　“我觉得图书管理员最容易司法英语笑话司法英语笑话。”第二个说, “他们的器官都按字母顺序排列。”

　第三个医生说，“我喜欢给电工手术，他们的器官都有带颜色的编码

　“你们都错了”，第四个说，“律师是最容易的，他们没心、没肠、没骨头，而且他们的脑子用钱就能换掉。”

　2、Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident Just how far can you see clearly

　Witness1: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away

　律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西

　证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。

　3、An American attorney1 had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then suel the landowners for lots of money"

　Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partners and started speaking rapidly in Italian When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law

　"No, no" one replied "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks"

　一位美国律师刚结束他在意大利一所法律学校的客座演讲，就有一位意大利律师走近他问：“听说在你们国家里，一个人跌倒在人行道上，他就会起诉这块地的所有者赔偿很多钱，这是真的吗”

　得知这是真的后，意大利律师转向他的同行开始用意大利语快速谈论起来。当他们停下来后，美国律师问他们是否想去美国做法律工作司法英语笑话笑话大全。

　“不，不，”有一个人回答说，“我们要去美国跌倒在人行道上。”

　 长篇英语笑话故事精品

　1、A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner

　The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people" A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that cornerNOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction

　Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"

　一名新警察与老警察开着警车第一次出去巡逻。 他们得到命令去疏散一群闲逛的人，于是他们开车去了那条街，看到路口站着一群人。

　新警察摇下窗户：“大家注意了，快离开这里。”人们看了他几眼，没理他。他喊起来：“离开这里，马上离开!”大家都不知道怎么回事，但是在他的威胁下还是离开了。

　新警察对他第一次执行公务的结果很满意，对老警察说：“我干得怎么样”“你做得很好，”老警察笑着说，“尤其是在公共汽车站。”

　2、A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States

　After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the kays"

　The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated "Give me the kays" The Italian shrugged his shoulders Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks

　我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课每日精品英语笑话每日精品英语笑话。他们都是新近来美国生活的。

　在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后，他请全班同学给他挑出尺子，书本，钢笔等。课进行得井然有序，学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣，也很认真。后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生，我的朋友说：“给我钥匙

　那人看起来非常吃惊，也有点手足无措。看到这种情况，我的朋友想是他没有听清楚，于是又重复了一遍：“给我钥匙。”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着，他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下

　3、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff'

　'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap'

　The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen'

　'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven'

　'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five'

　一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店每日精品英语笑话笑话大全。 她问店员：“这东西要多少钱”

　“七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。”

　老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。”

　店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。”

　“还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”

简短英文笑话（精选8篇）

　笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。下面为大家带来简短英文笑话，快来看看吧。

简短英文笑话 篇1

　In a sales company, the boss said to one of his employees,

　"The main thing to remember is repetition, repetition, repetition! That's the key! If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every way possible Repeat it; cram it down people's throats Even make yourself sickening and repulsive if you have to, but don't everforget to repeat, repeat, repeat It's the only way to get results and sell our products!"

　So, the employee said, "Yes, sir!"

　Then the boss said, "Now, what was it you came to see me about"

　And the employee replied, "Well, sir, it's about a raise, a raise, a raise!"

简短英文笑话 篇2

　a man went to the police office wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before

　"you will get your chance in court" said the desk sergeant

　"no, no, no" said the man "i want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife i've been trying to do that for years"

简短英文笑话 篇3

　An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display "I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings"

　"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news" With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor"

简短英文笑话 篇4

　Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head Asked one plus a few zero Terrified young people, thought for a long time Answer, equals two Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much

　有一个神经病，不知道从哪里弄来了一把枪，他走在一条小黑胡同里。突然遇上一个年轻人，神经病二话不说将其按在地上用枪指着他的头。问道，一加一得几。年轻人吓坏了，沉思了很久。回答，等于二。神经病毫不犹豫的打死了他。然后把抢拽在怀里，冰冷的说了一句，你知道的太多了…

简短英文笑话 篇5

　Give up your seat to a lady

　Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady"

　"You've done the right thing," says Mommy

　"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap"

　给女士让座

　小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。”

　妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”

　“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”

简短英文笑话 篇6

　Driving through the hill country of Texas，just north of San Antonio，we watched the sky turn a brilliant orange at sunset At my wife's pleading，we stopped and walked up a hill，which turned out to be the top of a cliff Before us lay the picturesque postcard setting we had been looking for

　during all our vacation Below was a large green valley circled by hills Exhilarated by the tangerine sky, long shadows，and a slight breeze carrying the scent of green grass，my wife suddenly shouted:“Thank you，Mother Nature，for so much beautyl”

　开车经过德克萨斯州的山丘地带，也就是圣·安扎尼奥的正北。在黄昏时，我们看到天空中出现了一道道金色的光芒。在老婆哟请求下，我们停了车，来到了小山坡土。这里正好是悬崖的顶端，在我们面前展现出了一种名信片上的景色。这正是我们整个假期都在寻找的地方。山坡下是一片群山环抱的绿色山谷，橙色的天空，一片片绿草地。一阵微风吹过来，送来了一阵草的芳香。我老婆突然喊到:“谢谢你，大自然的`毋亲，感谢你给我们这么美丽的风景。”

　Then, a distant voice was heard from across the valley:"No charge!”

　接着，从远处山谷的那一边传来了一声，“不要付钱了。”

简短英文笑话 篇7

　Although my mother，a native of Japan, has lived for 55 years in the United States，she has not adapted complete1y to the cultural change This is especiallly obvious during her infrequent forays into a large city

　我母亲是日本人，她已在美国生活了55年了，但是，她仍没完全适应这异国的文化。当她偶尔去一次大城市，这种不适应就显得更明显了。

　One day she boarded a bus in Los Angeles，deposited a $5 bill in the coin box and held out her hand for changeBecause the coin box is not built to accept paper money，the bus driver growled:“Okay，lady If you get that bill out,you can ride for free Otherwise we're going to have to dis-mantle this coin box"

　一天，她在洛杉矶上了一辆会共汽车。她取出5元的纸币把它塞进了收币机，然后，她仲出手等着找钱由于收币机不能接收纸币，所以司机大声地吼道:“好了，太大，如果

　你能把那纸币取出来，你今天乘车就免费。否则，我们只好拆机器了。”

　My mother hesitated but a moment, then opened her purse，took out a pair of chopsticks，retrieved the bill and smiled as she took her seat

　我母亲犹豫了一会儿，然后打开她的手包，拿出了一副筷子，用它把钱夹了出来。她面带着笑容找了个空座位坐下了。

简短英文笑话 篇8

　Early one morning, my next-door neighbor set to work with a power hedge-trimmer He was half through the job when a neighbor appeared，still in his pajamas He was carrying his own power clipper and offered his help, which was gratefully accepted When the job was done, my neighbor thanked his benefactor，commenting that it had been "a real neighborly act"

　一天清晨，我隔壁的邻居在用一个电动剪修机修草坪。当他干到一半儿的时侯，另一个邻居也来了。他仍穿着睡衣，手里拿着他自家的电动剪修机，说是来帮忙的。这个要求当然不会被拒绝了。活干完时，我那位受益的都居对他表示了谢意，还评论说:“这才是真正的部居。”

　"Don't mention it，“replied the other man "I figured,by helping you，it would only take half as long and I could get back to sleep!"

　另一个邻居却说:“不用客气。我算了一下，帮你一个忙，可以节省一半时间，然后我还能回去睡觉。”

;

　　一篇好的笑话,总是以短小的篇幅、精炼的语言、讽刺的手法,表达一个引人发笑的故事,在笑中寓有深义,发人深思,促人战斗,使人猛醒。我整理了关于高中英文小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!

　　关于高中英文小笑话带翻译篇一

Little Amy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fenceInterested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you upto there, Amy"

"My goldfish died," replied Amy tearfully, without lookingup, "and I've just buried him"

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it"

Amy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat"

金鱼

小艾米在她家的花园里往一个坑里填土，她的邻居从花园的篱笆外面看到了。对这个面色沮丧小女孩的行动感兴趣，他礼貌地问道：“艾米，你在这儿做什么”

“我的金鱼死了，”艾米头也未抬，泪眼汪汪地说：“我刚把他埋葬了。”

他的邻居关心地问：“对金鱼来说，这个洞是不是太大了”

艾米拍了拍最后一撮土，然后回答道：“因为金鱼在你的猫肚子里面。”

　关于高中英文小笑话带翻译篇二

Like a good father, I took my 4-year old daughter to a so-called "rug concert" at her musicschool one Saturday morning, called that because you sit on the rug in a group and singsongs We sat beside a young, attractive mother and her son, and I struck up a friendlyconversation with the mother during the concert I thought I was in trouble when, as soon aswe got home, my daughter burst through the front door and announced to my wife that"Daddy met a Mommy"

哎，孩子

作为一个好父亲，我在星期六的早晨带四岁的女儿到她的学校参加一个所谓的“地毯音乐会”。叫这么个名字是因为我们分成小组坐在地毯上然后唱歌。我坐在一个年轻、有魅力的母亲和她儿子身边。在音乐会中我和这个母亲开始了友好的谈话。当我们回家后，我认为我有麻烦了。女儿推开前门，对我妻子宣布：“爸爸遇到了一个妈妈。”

　关于高中英文小笑话带翻译篇三

Mother: I sent my little boy for two pounds of plums and you gave him a pound and a half

Shopkeeper: My scales are all right, madam Have you weighed your little boy

两磅李子

母亲：我让我的小儿子来买二磅李子，可你只给了他一磅半。

店主：我的秤准确无误，太太。可是你称过你的小儿子了吗

　关于高中英文小笑话带翻译篇四

Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is onlyone piece left Can you explain that

Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn't notice the other

我没有看到它

母亲：约翰尼，今天早上我在食品橱里放了两块蛋糕，现在只剩下一块了，你说是怎么回事

约翰尼：哦，我想是因为里面太黑，我没有看见另一块。

　　英语笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。我整理了，欢迎阅读!

：Goes to the cinema

A boy goes to the cinema He buys a ticket and goes in But after two or three minutes he es out He buys a second ticket and goes in again After a few minutes he es out again and buys a third ticket Two or three minutes after that he es out a third time and asks for another ticket The ticket seller says to him, "Why are you buying all these Are you meeting friends in the cinema all the time" "No, I;m not doing that" The all man says, "But a big woman always stops me at the door and tears my tickets up"

：Johnny is busy now

It was half-past eight in the morning The telephone rang and Mary went to answer it

'Hello, who's that' she asked

　　'It's me--Peter'

Peter was a friend of Mary's eight-year-old brother, Johnny

'Oh, hello, Peter What do you want' said Mary

'Can I speak to Johnny'

'No,' said Mary, 'you can't speak to him now He is busy He is getting ready for school He is eating his breakfast Grandmother is bing his hair Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag Goodbye, I'vegot to go now I have to hold the door open The school bus is ing'

：The result of laziness

懒惰的结果

Mother: Why were you kept after school today, Johnny Johnny: Teacher told us to write an essay on "The Result of Laziness", and I turned in a blank sheet of paper 妈妈：约翰尼，你今天放学以后为什么被留下了 约翰尼：老师叫我们写一篇题为《懒惰的结果》的作文，我交了一张白卷。

：Is ink so expensive

墨水很贵吗

Son: Is ink so very expensive, father Father: Why, son, what makes you think so Son: Wwell Mother seems quite disturbed because I spilled some on the carpet 儿子：爸爸，墨水很贵吗 父亲：不贵呀，你为什么这么想 儿子：哦，我把墨水洒了一点在地毯上，妈妈好象挺着急的。

：A school report

学校成绩单

The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son His brow was wrathful愤怒的 as he read,

"English, poor French, weak mathematics, fair" and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad少年，小伙子

"Well, Dad" said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that" And hepointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent"

父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情：

“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。

“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。”

joke

1（引人发笑的故事， 笑料）

make a fool of oneself; make a funny mistake

闹笑话

crack a joke; jape

说笑话

He loves a joke

他喜欢笑话。

Don't hold others up to ridicule

别总笑话人。

2banter

名词 n

1玩笑;逗乐

He suddenly dropped his habitual banter

他突然不再像往常一样开玩笑。

The actress exchanged banter with reporters

女演员与记者相互开玩笑。

She engages in friendly banter with her customers

她常和顾客逗乐。

The star clown was considered a master of witty banter

那丑星被认为是个逗乐子的好手。

不及物动词 vi

1开玩笑;说笑;逗乐

The rival team members bantered before the game

双方队员在比赛前互相说笑。

及物动词 vt

1(善意地)取笑,逗弄

We bantered Nick on the subject of marriage

我们就婚姻问题取笑尼克。

讲笑话用英文怎么说

play a joke

讲笑话(用英语怎么说)

joke

jokes

tell jokestelling jokes

To tell jokes

看你怎么用了

‘他喜欢讲笑话的英语怎么说’

He likes joking

He likes telling jokes

“讲笑话”用英语怎么说？

1tell jokes 讲笑话

2make a joke 只自己编造笑话

3jest搞笑（含贬义）

小笑话，用英语怎么说

小笑话 a little joke

如：

Today I'll tell a little joke to you

Today I'll tell you a little joke

今天我给大家讲一个小笑话。

英语笑话故事

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself

Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again" asked his mother

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan "I have his ear in my pocket"

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly "Here are two cents more But why are you so interested in the old woman"

"She is the one who sells the candy"

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things an

给我讲个笑话英语怎么说

Giving me tell a joke

1、Goldfish金鱼

Stan: I won 92 goldfish

Fred: Where are you going to keep them

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath

Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!

斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？

斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！

2、 The Revenge 欺骗的代价

Old Farmer Johnson was dying The family was standing around his bed With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones" Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you" Johnson:"But I want you to" Wife: "But why" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"

老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡

Psychiatrist: What's your problem

Patient: I think I'm a chicken

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？

病人：我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？

病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away How do I get the gum outfrom my ears"

当空中**给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中**面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”

5、 Where Am I 我在哪儿

An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir"

一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”

6、Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street

"But officer," the man said, "I can explain"

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer"I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back"

"But ,officer, I …"

"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"

A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back"

"Are you sure" answered the man in the cell "I'm thegroom"

大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。

7、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion Who is the laziest person in your class

Tom: I don't know, father

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work

Tom: Our teacher, father

父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。

8、TwoBirds 两只鸟

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow Now whocan tell us which is which

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer

Teacher: Please tell us

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。