在乔治35岁的时候，他买了一架小飞机，并学习驾驶它。很快他就学得很好而且能飞出各种姿势。
乔治有一个朋友，他的名字叫马克。一天乔治邀请马克坐他的飞机。马克心想：“我曾经很多次坐过大飞机旅行，但是我从来没有坐过这么小的飞机。所以我要去坐一坐。
他们起飞了，乔治飞了将近有半小时，在空中用尽了所有飞行的技巧。
当他们再次降落时，马克因为能够安全回来而感到很高兴，接着他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说：“好的，乔治，非常感谢你用飞机载我两次旅游。”
乔治很惊奇地说：“两次？”
“是的，我的第一次和最后一次，”马克回答道。
这样的场景有意思吗？上海的研究生自杀了，南京的民工冻死了，你们在这里烛光晚餐，有什么意思
赵本山、范伟合演的最后一部小品，也是赵本山、小沈阳合演的第一部小品！
赵本山、小沈阳、范伟、蔡明爆棚合作小品《招聘骗局》 ，帮你识破形形色色招聘骗局！
直面2010严峻就业形势，讽刺企业招聘中的欺骗现状！
本山大叔摆脱农民形象，马老板重装上阵；范伟化身职场精英，被忽悠防不胜防。
老板桌旁大幅宣传画，画面背景是华南虎照，上写：马氏美白素 专业只为女人。你有“野心”吗？您想当“主人”吗？您想当“老板”吗？马氏国际就是您走向人生顶峰的“平台”、“空间”、“江南”！国际著名美容科技集团诚聘策划、设计若干名，要求全日制本科以上学历。下面是两块奖牌，“至尊美容大奖”“诚信试范单位”。
蔡：马董，不好了，我们的马氏美白素被工商查处为不合格产品，正在网上公示呢。
马：什么玩意？莫急莫慌。还有啊，什么马董马董，说了多少遍了，在人面前叫董事长，在办公室就叫大舅！不知道还以为马桶又漏水呢。
蔡：大舅，那咋办呢？
马：换个名字，重新设计一下包装，马上过年了，搞个促销啥的。（看广告宣传画）就改叫虎牌美白精华素！
蔡：咋促销呢？
马：你招的人呢？
蔡：下午有面试的，在500强做过。
马：那给他几张白纸，让他写个策划方案，3000字以上。
（范上）
范：如今工作太难找，前段时间在网上发简历180多份，只接到8个面试电话，其中三个还是不请自来，都号称是国际金融集团，发信用卡，卖保险，非法炒外汇的。最近呢，干脆一个没有，我都以为手机坏了，每天打几下自己的号。经济危机来了，骗子和贼的队伍也扩大了。还得提防那些借着招聘骗钱的，凡是收钱的一概不去。包看好，钱抓牢，手机不要随便给人拿了跑！
（手机短信铃声）感谢您应聘马氏企业国际集团广告策划职位，请今日下午2点到国际大厦18楼面试。
范：这短信发得蛮及时哦，昨天来过电话的。
蔡：你好，马氏国际。
范：你好，我是来面试的。
蔡：是这样，我们有份考题，您先做一下。答完后，这里有媒体采访我们董事长的文章，您要仔细看完。然后我们董事长会亲自面试。
（看完厚厚剪报）
蔡：看完了吗？您这边请。
马：你的方案我看了，确实没想到。
范：没想到？没想到是好还是差啊？
马：我的意思都让你明白了，我还是老板吗？
马：我先介绍下公司情况。马氏集团总部在美国洛杉矶，98年进入中国，02年成立马氏未来实验室公司，致力于生命科学、基因工程和健康美容研究。我们的战略是用3-5年在美国、日本建立5个分公司，用3-5年在中国建立15个分公司，88家核心加盟商，为全球用户提供专业服务。在这样的快速发展过程中，人才是我们最大的渴望，我始终认为，最有价值的一分钟是投资于员工的一分钟。巴菲特说，人生就像滚雪球，重要的是找到很长的坡。相信马氏国际就是你们年轻人成功路上最长的坡。
范：爬坡啊。
马：这是我们公司诚信荣誉奖牌。在全省。。。
范：您等等，不好意思，董事长，诚信试范单位的“试”错了吧？应该是表示的“示”。
马：是吗，哦，可能和你一样，来了后也有试用期的，牌子刚买来，不，刚拿来没几天。你有什么强项？
范：策划。
马：那4万亿知道吗？4后面那么多的零，能给我们策划几个零？
范：那都是国家大项目，估计不行。
马：马氏国际今年的销售将突破8个亿，我们的目标是5年内进入世界五百强！我作为企业领头人，进入那什么斯排行榜，好多年没进那什么斯排行榜了。
范：福布斯？
马：就那斯。公司已经进入上市倒计时！到美国那什么斯巴达克，这是我们上市倒计时2000天庆祝会的照片。
范：纳斯达克？
马：对，进军纳斯达克。
范：您等等，2000天我算算是多少年？
马：甭算了，我们要让地球人都知道马氏国际要上市了，（拿出一个破锣）看，开市敲的锣都备好了。
（拿来锣看）范：有点面熟？耍猴的？
（方案给蔡）马：给应聘设计的，让他按照策划方案做出设计稿，就说考察他的思路对不对。是骡子是马，拉出来遛遛。
马：考考你的观察能力。假如啊，假如，你有巨额财产无法解释清楚时，你怎么说？
范：还有啥，炒房的呗。
马：考考你的反应能力。如果现在窗户外面停着神八飞船，你会进去吗？如果它那能随便去任何一个地方，你会要求它把你带到哪？
范：当然！去哪？洛杉矶？
马：马氏国际在洛杉矶老有名了，出了机场，告诉出租车司机直接去马府。
马：再考考你判断能力。你乘坐电梯上来，一楼到十楼的每层电梯门口都放着一颗钻石，钻石大小不一。每层楼电梯门都会打开一次，只能拿一次钻石，问怎样才能拿到最大的那颗？
范：自己觉着大就赶紧拿吧，万一电梯出故障呢？万一停电呢？
马：你面试回答问题啊一定要停顿2秒，确信明白了我的意思。
蔡：你最后俩问题啥意思？
马：没啥意思，我是让他稀里糊涂地回去。
马：你有啥问题要问？
范：公司年假是怎样的？
马：年假？过年放假啊？当然。
蔡：他说的是带薪年假。
马：带薪？不上班？我还从没接到员工这样的休假申请。在我们全市，周六上班难道你不知道吗？
范：合同是怎样签的呢？
马：一年一签，试用期半年。
范：法律规定，一年合同的话，试用期不能超过2个月。
蔡：新劳动法，三年合同的试用期才能为6个月。
马：那签三年，签十年都没问题，试用期半年。
蔡：签十年满之后就是无固定期限合同了。
马：啊？还有无固定期限？这是哪门子法律。
马：那就三年，在第一年快满时让他自己觉得没意思走人。
蔡：他要是还觉得有意思呢？
马：他要是还觉得有意思，那我就觉得你没意思了。
马：你的想象力咋样？
范：昨晚做了一个奇怪的梦：快过年了，我请人杀头牛，结果杀完后，宰牛的让我拿几块肉走人；我不肯，拿了很多的肉，还坐在那吃了几盘牛肉火锅，最后还剩一些，就给他了。
马：我可能就是宰牛的。你的工资要求？
范：三千以上。
马：我们这个职位呢，年薪十万，折算月薪肯定超过四千了。那今天就先这样，没你啥事了，回去听信。快过年了，工作不好找，花销还少不了。凡是借着招聘收钱的要当心啊。什么开车来接你的，让助手来接你的，让带手提电脑面试的，都要小心手机钱物被抢被骗。
范：谢谢您的提醒。再见。
（范下）（沈上）
沈：董事长，这个待遇和当初您说的咋不一样呢？
马：咋不一样？
沈：当时我问您工资是否按时发放，您说“那当然”。我问您是否考勤很严格，您说“这个看情况，有时也可以灵活”。
马：你肯定记错了，你问我考勤是否很严格，我说那当然。你问我工资是否按时发放，我说这个看情况，有时也可以灵活。
沈：我问您是否有车贴、饭贴就是餐费补贴、交通补贴，您回答说“那还用说，绝对比同行都高！”我问您听说公司加班多，您回答说“不可能，谁告诉你的？”
马：你肯定又记错了。你问我公司是否加班，我告诉你“那还用说，绝对比同行都高！”你问我是否有餐费补贴、交通补贴，我的回答是“不可能，谁告诉你的？”
（沈下）
（电话响）
蔡：大舅，物业说再不交房租和水电费的话，他们就拉闸、搬桌子。咋办？
马：咋办？收拾东西，这地方也住腻了，桌子给他们好了。下午就搬。
蔡：万一有人问呢？
马：就说去敬老院慰问孤寡老人，送温暖，带点被褥、水果啥的。
蔡：物业以后找到咱咋办呢？
马：放心。我在合同上签的是马大师！不是马大帅！跟那个拍老虎的农民学的。
马：快走。
7人的英语小品剧本，短篇 可任选其一。
pocket money
Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A),
Candy(C), Policeman(P)
Preparation: 学校布景，做糖果用桌及相关材料，小贩家布景
Scene1（At Salesman’s home）
N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman He
always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students He
has a lot of money now But how does he make the candies Oh, xu ……
He is coming!
S: Hello, do you know me No Oh, let me tell you I’m the famous
candy salesman at the school gate My candies are very
popular,(展示)，I don’t know why The foolish students always come
here I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……
Oops! It’s time to make candies now(看表)
First, put the flour on the table
Then, water, sugar, flour(边说边做)
Now press, press……
Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)
Press, press……
Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!
Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……
Now let me cut it into pieces!
One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）
Wow, everything is ready!
糖果钻出来（跳舞），跳完后，非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do The
students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…
S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now
it’s so beautiful! Haha……
C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)
Scene2（At the school gate）
N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come
out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual
（Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩）
(小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……
M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!
A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!
M: Let’s ask him
A: OK!
C: Don’t buy me！（非常焦急）
M&A: Why
C: I’m dirty！
M: No, you look nice!
C: What can I do (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)
S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）
M&A: How much are they
S: Do you have money（轻蔑）
M&A: Money(对视)
M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）
A: Me too
S: No money So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场)
M: What can we do now
A: Let’s ask dad for money
M: But how to ask
A: How…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us
money（自信）
Net Friend 互联网交友
Summary:
Is it correct to make friends on the Internet Will it be dangerous Bill, Hillary's younger brother, is a rude and impolite boy Everyone in his school doesn't like him However, he really wants to have a girlfriend, so he asks his sister to help him Then Hillary pretended to be Bill on net and met a nice girl, Monica Three months later, Hillary asked Monica to go out with "Bill" (Her brother), and arranged everything for them When they met each other at McDonald's, Monica found that Bill wasn't the one who she talked to on net Then
Finally, Monica understands that it's very dangerous to date with strangers and trusts everything of which her net-friend told her And we all should be very careful when we're on net
Scene I
(In school cafeteria, students are having lunch)
Bill: Hey, Jessie (He pushed her shoulder very rudely) Can I join you
(Jessie didn't say a word, and Bill just sat down)
Bill: Wow! Wow! Wow! You are wearing a nice dress today!
Jessie: Thanks!
Bill: Oh! What a beautiful hair clip Where did you buy it
(Jessie didn't say anything)
Bill: Hey, you have a nice watch
(He held her hand strongly and Jessie got angry)
Jessie: Don't touch me! I don't want to talk to you Leave me alone!
(Bill stood up and walked toward Carol
Bill sat down beside Carol without asking her)
Bill: Hey, beautiful! How could you eat so little! It's not good for your health! Take this!
(Bill wanted Carol to eat his food)
Carol: No
Bill: Take it! (He was very rude and the plate fell down)
Carol: Hey! What are you doing! This is my new skirt!
Bill: I'm sorry!
Carol: Go away! You're such a rude guy!
(Carol went away)
Bill: Did I do something wrong
(He talked to himself)
Scene II
(In Hillary's room Hillary was surfing the net)
Bill: Sis
Bill: Hillary!
Hillary: Oh! Hi! Bill! How long have you been sitting there Are you trying to scare me
(Bill didn't say a word)
Hillary: Bill What's wrong with you What happened
Bill: I tried to draw some girls' attention but they just ignored me!
Hillary: HmmMaybe the way you used was wrong
Bill: Yeah, maybe But I don't know how to attract them Hillary, I just want to have a girlfriend
Hillary: Girlfriend
Bill: Yeah
Hillary: Let me see what I can do
Bill: So, can you help me
Hillary: Ok! Since you really want to have a girlfriend, I'll try to help you
Bill: Great! Thank you! You are a doll!
(At this moment, Hillary's net-friend is calling her)
Hillary: Oh My net-friend!
Bill: Ok! Waiting for your good news!
(Bill left Hillary's room and Hillary was thinking how she helped Bill)
Hillary: Yeah! That's it! I can pretend to be Bill and find a girlfriend on the Internet!
(She opened the PC and saw a girl's name "Monica")
Hillary: (Laughing) Monica!
(A little bit surprised)
Hillary: (Talked to herself) It is the same name as the girl of Clinton's sexual scandal Hmm Let me send a message to her
Hillary: Hi! I'm Bill! Glad to meet you!
Monica: Hello, Bill! , Glad to meet you, too I'm a college student, and you
Hillary: Me three
Monica: (Laughing) You're a humorous person!
Hillary: Thanks! I guess you're a female, aren't you
Monica: Yes, I am
Hillary: (Talked to herself) Great! She's a girl
Monica: And you
Hillary: Oh I'm a "boy"
Monica: Which school club are you in
Hillary: Computer Information Club
Monica: Oh! Really So you must be a computer expert!
Hillary: You can say that again
Monica: You know I'm interested in computers, too So, can you teach me or tell me something about them
Hillary: Sure! It's my pleasure!
( Two hours later )
Hillary: Oh! It's interesting to chat with you
Monica: Yeah! I'm very happy, too
IIiIIaiy: Will you be here tomorrow At the same time
Monica: I think so, I hope we can meet again
Hillary: Ok, I'll be here tomorrow, Bye! Bye!
Monica: Bye!
Saying: From then on, Monica and Hillary continue chatting with each other after school
(At Monica's room As soon as Monica came back home from school,
she started surfing the net Then, her mom came into her room
She knocked her door, but no oneanswered the door)
Dad：Darling，someone is knocking the door
Mom: I'm coming!
Mom: Oh! Monica, my darling! I've just baked some cookies Want some
Monica: No, thanks! I have something important to do
Mom: What are you busy doing
Monica: I'm surfing the net and talking to my net-friend
Mom: Net-friends!! They are strangers You even don't know who they are I read from the newspapers Lot's of things happened on net You should be more careful and you have to watch out for your net-friends, You're so young
Monica: Ok ok I know, Mom Don't worry about me
(Mom walked out her room and Monica saw Hillary)
Monica: Hello! Bill!
Hillary: Hi! Monica! How's school today
Monica: Wonderful! It's really a nice day!
Hillary: Monica! I think we've known each other for a long time And I just wonder whether you would go out with me
Monica: (Talk to herself) Go out with him
Monica: Sure, I would like to I think you're a polite and humorous person It may be interesting to go out with you!
Hillary: That's great! How about we meeting at McDonald's on Ming-Chang Road this weekend
Monica: All right! It's a deal! But how can I recognize you
Hilillary: I'll wear a blue shirt, blue jeans, a blue caps and also carry a blue knapsack Besides, I'll stand beside the trash can
Monica: All in blue! Wow! Ok! That will be easy for me to recognize you
Hillary: Yeah! I'll be waiting for you!
Monica: Ok! See you
Monica: (Talk to herself) Ha! I'm looking forward to it!
Hillary: (Talk to herself) Yes, I made it I'm going to tell Bill this good news!
ScenceIII
(At McDonald's, Bill was waiting for Monica
A few minutes later, Monica saw Bill and walked toward Bill)
Monica: Hi Are you Bill
Bill: Yes, I am You're Monica
Monica: Yeah that's right
Bill: You look great!
Monica: You're not bad, either Hey, Let's find a table!
Bill: Yeah! How about that one I've ordered some things
(They found a table and began talking)
Monica: Bill!
Bill: Monica!
Bill: Oh! Lady first!
Monica: Bill, have you already finished your computer report
Bill: UhUh Did I tell you that
Monica: Yes, you did You said it was about how to kill virus Did you find out how to do that
Bill: Kill virus That's easy for me I'm a genius Just use a knife
Monica: A knife
Bill: Yeah! Knife can kill everything
Monica: What are you talking about Alright! Alright! Forget it! And how about the novel we discussed last week
Bill: Novel I've read so many novels, which one
Monica: "The old man and the sea", don't you forget What happened to that old man
Bill: Yeah! That old man! He caught a big fish and then became a hero
Monica: Hmm He has a strong will, doesn't he He never gives up anything And how about the fish
Bill: Did you forget He cooked the fish and ate it!
Monica: And~~it's delicious, right
Bill: You got it! It's very delicious!
Monica: Nonsense! The fish was eaten by the sharks You're not Bill, are you
Bill: Of course I'm Bill "B~I-L-L"
Monica: But you seem different from the way you are on net Who are you for God's sake
Bill: Ok I tell you the truth I'm Bill, but not the one you talked to on net That was my sister, Hillary
Monica: Are you kidding me
Bill: No, that's true I really want to have a girlfriend, so she helped me out She met you on net and thought you're a nice girl So she arranged us to meet each other
Monica: That means both of you tricked me
Bill: So what That's Hillary's idea
Monica: You You (She is very angry)
Monica: Gosh! I was tricked for such a long time!
Scence IV
(Monica left McDonald angrily)
(At Monica's room, again)
Monica: (Crying) How foolish I was! What on earth was I doing (Still crying) I think I need someone to talk to
(She looked around and saw the time)
Monica: Ah, 8:30 It's "Paula's Time"
(She turned on the TV)
Paula: Welcome to "Paula's Time" I'm Paula Jones, not Dow Jones Today we'll discuss some net problems Nowadays Internet helps modern people live more convenient lives, get the latest information You can say that we live in an Internet world However, some bad guys made use of Internet to do illegal deals or trick people So, today we will listen to some friends' problems and help them solve it Our hot line number is 111-1234 Please dial it as soon as possible I'm waiting for your call-in OK Who's the first friend
Monica: Hi, Paula, I'm Monica
Paula: Yes, Monica, what do you want to share with us
Monica: I met a girl, Hillary, on net three months ago She pretended to be her brother, Bill, and chatted with me But I didn't know the truth until yesterday that we arranged to meet each other He told me that Hillary surfed the net to help him find a girlfriend And that was me I felt I was tricked and I was very sad Do you think I'm wrong
Paula: It seems like Bill takes special interests in Monica just like our president Monica, it's a serious and common social problem in modern society Lots of people want to make friends on the Internet But you must be careful On the net, people use nicknames to protect themselves, or even trick others to do something bad Everyone on the net wears a mask Sometimes it's evil that hides under the mask So you had better watch out Never date with strangers by yourself Strangers are dangerous
Monica: Thanks, Paula You do help me a lot I know what I should do now
(Suddenly someone is calling Monica on net)
Starr: Hi! Monica! I'm Starr May I make friends with you
Monica: Oh! No! Not again!
(Lights out)
A pound of flesh
Bassanio and Shylock come
Bassanio:Hello,Mr Shylock Long time no see How about you business these days, I mean lending money with interestsBut now I want to tell you something Would you like to give me a hand Can you lend me three thousand dollars
Shylock: Three thousand dollars; well
Bassanio: Ay, Sir, for three months
Shylock: For three months; well
Bassanio: For the which, as I told you, Antonio shall be bound
Sholock: Antonio shall be bound; well
Bassanio: Shall I know your answer
Shylock: Three thousand dollars for three months and Antonio bound
Antonio enters
Bassanio: This is Antonio
Shylock: Antonio, many a time and often in the rialto(交易所)，you have rated(估价) me about my money, and I have born it with a patient shrug(我总是忍气吞声，耸耸肩膀，没有跟您争辩)，for sufferance(忍耐) is the badge(特色) of all our tribe You call me misbeliever(异教徒), cut-throat dog(杀人的狗)，and spit up(吐痰) on my Jewish garments Well then it appears you need my help: you come to me, and you say ‘Shylock, we would have money’, you say so, you did void your rheum(吐唾沫) upon my beard, and foot me as you spurn(弃绝) a strange cur(杂种狗)What should I say to you Should I say dog has money Is it possible a cur can lend three thousand dollars Or shall I bend low and in a bondman’s key(像一个奴隶一样)，with a bated breath(低声下气) and whispering humblenee(恭恭敬敬的), say this: Fair Sir, you spit on me on Wednesday last, you spurned such a day, another time, you call me a dog, and for these courtesies(礼貌), I lend you thus much money
Antonio: I am as like to call you so again To spit on you again, to spurn you too
Shylock: Why, look you, how you angry I would be friends with you and have you love
Bassanio: This were kindness
Shylock: This kindness will I show Go with me to a notary(公证人)，seal me there(在哪儿签约)，your single bound; and in a merry sport(不妨开个玩笑) If you repay me not on such a day, in such a place, such sum or sums as are expressed in the condition Let forfeit(罚款，没收物) be nominated for an equal pound of your fair flesh, to cut off and taken in what part of your body please me
(Three months later The day of payment being past, the cruel Jew would not accept of the money which Bassanio offered him, but insisted upon having a pound of Antonio’s flesh A day was appointed to try this shocking case before the Duke of Venice, and Bassanio in dreadful suspense(焦虑) the event of the trial(审判)。
people: Including Duke,Bassanio,Shylock,Antonio,Portia
Duke: What, is Antonio here
Antonio: Ready, so please your grace(有，殿下)
Duke: I am sorry for you: you have to answer a stony adversary(对手)，an inhuman wretch, uncapable of pity, void, empity from any dram of mercy(我很为你不快，你是跟一个心如铁石的对手但当庭对质，一个不懂怜悯, 没有一丝慈悲心的不近人情的恶汉。)
Antonio: I do oppose my patience to his fury, to suffer
Duke: Go one, and call the Jew into the court
Bassanio: He is ready at the door, he comes, my Lord
Duke: Make room, and let him stand before our face Shylock, the world think, and I think so too, you leads this fashion of the malice(恶意)，to the last hour of act,you would show your mercyAnd now execuate the penalty, which is a pound of this poor merchant’s flesh But, touched with human gentlenee and love, forgive it, glancing an eye of pity on his losses,we all expect a gentle answer, Jew
Shylock: And by our holy Sabbath have I sworn, to have the due(应得物),and forfeit of my bond You ask me, why I rather choose to have a weight of carrion flesh (腐肉) than to receive three thousand dollars, I’ll not answer that But, say, it is my humour, is it the answer What if my house be troubled with rat(老鼠)，and I be pleased to give ten thousand dollars to have it baned What, is it a answer Some men they are love not a gaping pig(张开嘴的猪)，some are mad if they behold a cat,as there is no firm reason to be render(回答) So can I give no reason
Bassanio: This is no answer, you unfeeling man, to excuse the current of the cruelty(你这冷酷无情的家伙，这样的回答可不能作为你的残忍的辩解。)
Shylock: I want to please you with my answer
Bassanio: Do all men kill the things they do not love
Shylock: Who will hate anything he would not kill
Bassanio: Every offence is not a hate at first
Shylock: What, would you have a serpant(大毒蛇) sting you twice
Bassanio: For the three thousand dollars, here is six
Shylock: What judgement shall I dread(担心), I would not want six thousand, I would have my bond
Duke: How shall you hope for mercy
Shylock: what judgement shall I dread, doing no wrong I answer you: the pound of flesh, which I demand of him, is already bought, this is mine And I will have it If you deny me, fie(呸) upon your law!(你们的法律见鬼去吧！) I stand for judgement: answer, shall I have it
Duke: I just received a letter from Bellario, a learned doctor
Bassanio: ( to Shylock)Why does you whet(磨快) the knief so earnestly
Shylock: To cut the flesh from that bankrupt there
Duke: This letter from Bellario does command a young and learned doctor to our court Where is he
Portia: Just stands near here
Duke: With all my heart, welcome Do you understand the two viewpoint in the court
Portia: Of course I know Which is the merchant here, and which the Jew
Duke: Antonio and old shylock, both stand forth
Portia: Is your name Shylock
Shylock: Shylock is my name
Portia: The case is strange, but according to the Venetian law, cannot limit you as you do proceed (point to Antonio) You stand within his danger, do you not (你的生死掌握在他的手里，是不是？)
Antonio: Ay, so he says
Portia: Do you confess the bond
Antonio: I do
Portia: Then must the Jew be merciful(仁慈)
Shylock: Why must I be merciful Tell me the reason
Portia: The quality of mercy likes gentle rain from heaven, and mercy was double blessing, we all prey for mercy
Shylock: My deeds are desided by my head! I ask the law, the penalty and forfeit of my contract
Portia: Is he not able to pay the money
Bassanio: Yes, here I want to pay it for him in the court, twice the sum, if that not enough, I want to pay it ten times The things I pay can be my hands, my head, my heart If this will not enough,I would thought you were bad enough And I ask you correct once the law, to do a great right, do a little wrong, and control this cruel devil of his will
Portia: It must not be; ther is no power in Venice can alter a law established
Shylock: A wise young judge, how I do honour you
Portia: I pray you, let me kook upon the bond
Shylock: Here this, most reverend(尊敬的) doctor, here it is
Portia: Shylock,there’s thrice(三倍的) the money offered you
Shylock: An oath(誓言)，an oath, I have an oath in heaven Shall I lay perjury(伪证) up on my soul, No, not for Venice(整个威尼斯给我都不行)
Portia: Why, this bond is forfeit(照约处罚)，Jew may cut off a pound of flesh nearest the merchant’s heart Be merciful, take thrice the money, bid(吩咐) me tear bond
Shylock: When it is paid according to the bond It does appear you are a worthly judge You know the law, your exposition(说明) has been most sound, I charge you by the law, you are a well-deserving pillar There is no power in the tongue of man I stay here om my bond(谁也不能用他的口舌改变我的决心，我现在等着执行)
Antonio: Most heartly I do beseech(恳求) the court to give the judgement
Portia: You must prepare your bosom for the knife
Shylock: Oh, noble judge! Oh, excellent young man!
Portia: therefore lay bare your bosom Are ther balance here to weigh the flesh
Shylock: I have them ready(take out a knife)
Portia: Ask a surgeon to come, Shylock, on your charge(费用归你), to stop his wounds, otherwise he will bleed to death
Shylock: Is it so nominated in the bond I cann’t find it ,it isn’t in the bond
Portia: You, merchant, have you anything to say
Antonio: But little , I am well perpared , give me your hand, Bassanio, Goodbye forever Commend me to your honourable wife, tell her the process of Antonio’s end; say how I loved you, speak me fair in death(从容就义); he won’t regret it he pays you debt For the Jew do cut but deep enough, I’ll pay it presently with all my heart
Bassanio: Antonio, I am married to a life which is as dear to me as life itself; but your life is the most important than all of this I would lose all, sacrifice them all Here to this devil, to delieve you(我愿意丧失一切，把它们献给这恶魔做牺牲，来救出你的生命)
Portia: You wife would give you little thanks for that If she were here
Shylock: these be the christian husbands I have a daughter, would any son of burgler had been her husband rather than a christian!
Portia; A pound of that same merchant’s flesh is yours: the court awards it, and law does give it
Shylock: most rightful judge!
Portia: you must cut this flesh from his breast The law allows it, and the awards it
Shylock: most learned judge! A sentence! Come, prepare!
Portia: Wait a moment, there;s something else This bond include no jot(少量) of blood; the words expressly are a pound of flesh But, in the cutting, if you does shed one drop of christian’s blood, your lands and goods confiscate(充公) by the Venice law
Bassanio: Oh, learned judge! Listen, Jew, a learned judge
Shylock: Is that the law
Portia: You will see the act(你自己可以去看看明白) For as you urgest justice, be assured you shall have justice(既然你要求公道，我就给你公道)，more than you desired
Shylock: I take this offer, then pay the bond thrice And let the christian go
Bassanio: Here is the money
Portia: Soft(别忙), The Jew shall have all justice; soft! No haste He shall have nothing but the penalty
Bassanio: Oh, Jew! An upright judge, a learned judge!
Portia: Therefore prepare you to cut off the flesh, neither blood, nor cut less nor more, but just a pound of flesh; if you cut more or less than a just pound, if the scale do turn, you die and all the goods are confiscate
Bassanio: Now, I have you on the hip(你可掉我手里)，
Partia: why does the Jew pause Take the forfeiture
Shylock: Give me my principal(本金)，and let me go
Bassanio: I have it ready for you; here it is
Portia: He has refused it in the open court He shall have merely justice and his bond
Shylock: Shall I not have barely my principal
Portia: You would have nothing but the forfeiture, except cutting a pound of flesh at the danger Jew
Shylock: Then the devil give him good of it! I’ll stay no longer question(让魔鬼保佑他去享用吧！我不打这场官司了)
Portia: Jew, the law have another relation to you To seek the life of any citizen by direct or indirect attempts,half of his property belongs to the citizen, the other half to the state The danger formely by me rehearsed(你已经遭逢我刚才所说起的危险了) Down therefore and beg merce of the duke
Duke: You will see the difference of our spirts, I pardon you the life before you ask it For half the wealth, it is Antonio; the other half to the state
Portia:Ay, for the state, not for the Antonio
Shylock: No, take my life and all; pardon not that You take my house when you do take the prop(支柱) that does sustain my house; you take my life when you do take the means(养家活命的根本) whereby I live
Portia: What mercy can you give him, Antonio A rope for kill or else
Antonio: I will happy if Lord quit this fine for one half The other half I will give the lover of his daughter
Portia: Are you contended, Jew What do you say
Shylock: I am content, thank you very much
老同学（搞笑校园短剧）
小丹：这不嘛，大学毕业十来年，当年的同学见面都难，有的有钱有的没钱，穷的不把富来奔，富的与穷家也无言。同学情感可不能白费，所以我们今天啊开个同学会，只为交流情感，不在乎喝不喝醉，呵呵。（收拾屋子）
大杂面：小丹呐，你咋还忙活呢，快做饭吧，老同学都快来了。哎，我还得告诉你几句：今天时间也不晚了，记住今天聚会赵卫锋是重点，他现在是辛氏企业的经理，百分百一个大款。咱今天要是把他整高兴了，那咱们就抱住那金饭碗了，哈哈哈哈！
小丹：你怎么那么见钱眼开呢？难道同学之间也要讲钱？
大杂面：小丹你咋这么不懂事呢，同学同学，同样是学生但不一样学习。当年学习不努力，他穷了也不能和咱们生气啊，当年刻苦学习的，他有钱也证明是自己努力。你好比当年的辛井水吧，倒是挺能折腾的，活动参加不少，就是不努力学习，听说毕业就失业了，现在在家种地，你说这是何必。
小丹：人家辛井水怎么也是同学啊，你可不能厚此薄彼啊。
大杂面：啊，对啊，你曾经还和辛井水谈过一段恋爱，怪不得你一直在为他说话呢。你们可别当着我的面情情爱爱，别怪我翻脸让他歇菜！
小丹：你！哼！（生气的下）（大杂面坐下看报纸）
小石头：（接电话）外！我是赵卫锋，哎呀，辛总啊，对来大杂面家开同学会，您放心吧，我一定会把这事办的清清楚楚，明明白白的，好好，再见！
（敲门）开门！
大杂面：来了，你好你是？
小石头：我是赵卫锋！
大杂面：卫锋，哎呀！（拥抱）我想死你了，咱们十年没有见面了吧，我都想四你了！怎么样您母亲还好吗？
小石头：还好！
大杂面：您父亲还好吧？
小石头：还好！
大杂面：您家里都好吧？
小石头：还好！
（小丹出来）
小丹：哎呀！小石头啊！
小石头：恩？你是？
大杂面：小石头？哎？这位是赵卫锋赵经理，你怎么能……
小丹：啊，原来是赵经理啊，那你们坐下聊啊！
（赵卫锋手机响，接电话）
小石头：外，辛总啊！什么？好，我马上过去！
老同学，我公司有点事情我得马上过去，好吗？咱们有机会再聚！
（赵卫锋下）
大杂面：完了，完了，他走了，这同学会还开啥了？饺子包了，来人就喝茶吧！
（老干巴上，敲门）
小丹：谁啊？
老干巴：我！
小丹：老干巴？
老干巴：小丹？诶呀吗呀
小丹：诶呀！
大杂面：小丹谁啊？
小丹：老干巴快进来！军言，你看谁来了
大杂面：啊，送煤气罐的吧，放里边吧！
小丹：他好似咱们的老同学老干巴啊
大杂面：老干巴？哪个老干巴啊
老干巴：不认识我了？大杂面？你忘了我，我可记得你呀！
大杂面：我叫张军言不叫大杂面，（不屑的）里面坐吧。
小丹：（拉住老干巴的手）老干巴，现在干啥呢，可挺长时间没有看见你了啊。
老干巴：啊，我那什么……
大杂面：咳！小丹，你去烧点开水去！
老干巴：大杂面！不张军言，你现在干啥啊？
大杂面：呀，也没干啥！就搞几个小项目呗！
老干巴：啥项目啊？
大杂面：啊，没啥，也就是给北极星供暖，把太平洋变浅，克隆一个北朝鲜，再把黑洞填满。
老干巴：诶呀！那你还挺忙啊！
大杂面：呵呵，一般！老同学，那你忙写啥啊都？
老干巴：我跟你比起来差远了，成天净鼓动农作物了。
大杂面：（骄傲的）那也行，一年也能对付个一两千！
老干巴：哪能啊，一年也就八九百——万！
大杂面：啊，八九百？万？不是我说你老干巴，你跟我你吹啥啊？啊，咱们当年都农村出来的，谁不知道一年挣多少啊，啊？你有啥困难到我这你装啥啊，我也不是不能帮你。我这现在家业好几十万，光自行车我就好几个。等会你把那个89年的推走吧，没事别老走着多累，骑去呗！
老干巴：恩，我没走着！
大杂面：骑倒骑驴啊？那玩意更累疼，还不如自行车呢！
老干巴：不是……
（小丹上）
小丹：你们唠啥呢？来喝水！
大杂面：小丹，把咱们家那些破衣服啥的给老干巴拿走点，买衣服太贵了。
小丹：哎！
（小丹拿出一件衣服）
大杂面：你拿那不我的衣服吗？
小丹：那你不说给老干巴吗？
大杂面：我说你塞暖气空子里那几件！
小丹：那还能穿吗？
大杂面：老干巴他还能嫌咱们呐？
老干巴：没事，老同学嘛，永远都是老同学！
小丹：老干巴，还没有吃饭吧？
大杂面：啧！人家老干巴还能不吃饭？再说咱家菜油太大，老干巴能吃惯吗？回头再拉肚子可咋整。给老干巴包几个馒头拿走，人家老干巴没准还有急事呢！
小丹：张军言，你是不是有点过分了？
老干巴：那什么，没事，小丹，军言你们忙着啊，我先走了！
（赵卫锋敲门）
大杂面：这又是谁啊？这个闹停！
（开门）
大杂面：诶呀！卫锋！诶呀，你可想死我了，太好了，小丹快炒菜，今天别走了啊，就在这住！
小石头：不的了，我们懂事长在这吧？
大杂面：懂事长？没有啊！
老干巴：（过来）小石头，事情办妥了？
小石头：辛哥，办妥了，外商直接就拨款2000万！
老干巴：好，咱们走吧！
大杂面：辛哥！诶呀，我想死你了！太好了，小丹快去买海鲜，辛哥，今天别走了，我给你定酒店！诶呀，快给辛哥泡龙井啊，这破衣服你又翻出来干啥呀？辛哥，快坐下！
老干巴：军言……
大杂面：辛哥你还是叫我大杂面亲切！
老干巴：你还记得自己曾经叫大杂面？你记得你这个名字怎么来的吗？
大杂面：当然记得，小的时候家里穷，我每天都带一个玉米面上学，同学们都叫我大杂面，但是没有一个人瞧不起我，他们都来帮助我！
老干巴：那时候我每天都带一个糖馒头上学，每次都用馒头换你的杂面吃。不是我爱吃杂面，而是我想让你知道，世界上除了钱之外，还有情感存在！军言，对辛懂事长你就可以请海鲜，住酒店，对老干巴你就连多呆一会你都不愿意吗？老同学老同学，就算我们再有钱，也不能忘记了曾经的老同学啊！
大杂面：老干巴！呜——
（音乐响起）
~~~
Old classmates (art campus drama)
Cast: small stone on the old Dan Zamian big Thelephora ganbajun Zang
Xiao-Dan: This is not just after graduating from university 10 years, was difficult to meet students, and some money some money and the poor to the rich not to Ben, rich and poor families also speechless Emotional students can not wasted, so we ah open a classmate, only for the exchange of emotion, do not care to drink do not get drunk, huh (Packing house)
Big Zamian: small Dan diploma, you also spent yesterday, it quickly cooking it, the old classmates come Hey, I must tell you a few words: This time is not too late to remember gather today Wei-feng is the key, he is now the manager of Hsin Enterprise, a wealthy 100% Our whole today if he was happy, then Let's cling on the golden rice bowl, You You!
Xiao-Dan: So how do you money eyes Do students have also say money
Big Zamian: small Dan night so you do not know anything, the students students, but students are not the same as learning Then learning sleep, he can not and the poor Let angry ah, that assiduous study, he also proved to be money of their own You like it then Xin Well, it is quite able to disruption, and to participate in many activities that sleep study, we heard that graduate unemployment, now at the land, you say this is why
Xiao-Dan: Well how are people Xin students ah, ah, you can be partial
Big Zamian: ah, ah, you have also talked about a period of well water and Xin love, no wonder you have been in it for him to speak You can not face the situation in front of my love love, I decide to let him Bieguai Xiecai!
Xiao-Dan: You! Sing! (Angry the next) (sit down and look at the newspapers Zamian)
Small stones: (phone),! I Zhao Feng, wow, Xin total ah, home to a large Zamian students, you rest assured it, I will definitely do this clearly, out-and-out, well, good-bye!
(Knock on the door) open the door!
Big Zamian: come here, you Hello, yes
Small stone: I was visiting front!
Big Zamian: Wei-feng, wow! (Hug) I think you die, Let's not 10 years to meet the bar, I want to 4 you! How kind your mother also okay
Small stone: okay!
Big Zamian: Your father also OK
Small stone: okay!
Big Zamian: Your home is OK
Small stone: okay!
(Dan small out)
Xiao-Dan: Ah! Small stone ah!
Small stone: TU You yes
Zamian large: small stone Hey This is Wei-feng Diaojingli, how can you……
Xiao-Dan: ah, it was Diaojingli ah, then you sit down and chat about ah!
(Wei-feng cellphone, the phone)
Small stone:, Xin total ah! What , And I immediately past!
Old classmates, some things my company I immediately past, okay We both have the opportunity to Zaiju!
(Wei-feng under)
Big Zamian: finished, finished, gone, it will also open啥students Dumplings package,来人on tea!
(Thelephora ganbajun Zang old, the knock on the door)
Xiao-Dan: Shuie
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: I!
Xiao-Dan: Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: small Dan Ah ah long period of time
Xiao-Dan: long period of time!
Big Zamian: Dan Shui A small
Xiao-Dan: Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang coming fast! Army statement, you see who is going to the
Big Zamian: ah, it sent the gas tank, put inside!
Xiao-Dan: We both like his old classmates old ah Thelephora ganbajun Zang
Big Zamian: Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang Which old ah Thelephora ganbajun Zang
Thelephora ganbajun Zang old: I do not know Zamian big You forgot me, and I recalled you!
Big Zamian: My name is Zhang statement is not big Zamian, (disdain) sitting inside it
Xiao-Dan: (attraction to the old hands Thelephora ganbajun Zang) Thelephora ganbajun Zang old now abide by relevant regulations, it could be quite a long time no see you ah
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: ah, that what I……
Big Zamian: cough! Xiao-Dan, you point to burn to the water!
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: Large Zamian! Zhang Jun and not words, you abide by relevant regulations ah
Big Zamian: ah, did not abide by relevant regulations! To engage in a few small projects hymns!
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang:啥project ah
Big Zamian: ah,没啥, that is, to Polaris heating, the Pacific shallow, a North Korean cloning, and then fill the black hole
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: long period of time! Futingmanga you!
Big Zamian: Oh, General! Old classmates, then you are busy writing Shae
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: I tell you far worse than up, Narita net instigated the crops
Big Zamian: (pride) that also, a year can deal with a 2000!
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: How could ah, it Bajiubai year - 10,000!
Big Zamian: ah, Bajiubai 10,000 Nilao Thelephora ganbajun Zang is not what I said, you told me you blow Shae Ah, let out that all rural areas, who do not know how many ah-earning year, ah You wield difficult to me with Shae you, I can not help you I am now possessions hundreds of thousands, light bike, I like a few , And so will you put that 89 Selection走吧, nothing more than another tired old walk, ride to hymns!
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: TU, I did not walk!
Big Zamian: riding inverted Qilv ah Nawanyi pain more tired than a bike
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: No……
(On the small Dan)
Xiao-Dan: Do you these chats about normal, Shane To drink!
Big Zamian: small Dan, Let's break those clothes home to the old啥Thelephora ganbajun Zang away, too expensive to buy clothes
Xiao-Dan: hey!
(Dan show a small clothing)
Zamian large: that you do not take my clothes
Xiao-Dan: Then you do not say that to the old Thelephora ganbajun Zang
Big Zamian: I said you Cypriot Heating empty yard that few!
Xiao-Dan: It can wear
Big Zamian: Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang He also suspected Let diploma
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: nothing, just old classmates, old classmates are forever!
Xiao-Dan: Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang, no dinner
Big Zamian: Ze! Thelephora ganbajun Zang old people can not eat Say too much anymore vegetable oil, used to eat Thelephora ganbajun Zang old Zezheng diarrhea can be back again To the old-Thelephora ganbajun Zang took several steamed bread, old people Thelephora ganbajun Zang chances are emergencies
Xiao-Dan: Zhang Yan, you are not a bit too much
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: What then, nothing, small Dan, the military statement you busy ah, I am ahead!
(Wei-feng knocked at the door)
Zamian large: This is Shuie This闹Stop!
(Open)
Zamian large: long period of time! Wei-feng! Ah long period of time, you can die, I would like to, very good, small cooking Dan fast today Biezou the ah, in this live!
Small stone: not at all, we Dongshichang in this
Big Zamian: Dongshichang No ah!
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: (from) small stone, things get
Small stone: Xinge, complete, direct foreign funding to 20 million!
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: Well, let走吧!
Big Zamian: Xinge!诶ah, I wanted to die you! Very good, small buy seafood Dan fast, Xinge, Biezou today, I will give you the hotel!诶ah, soon to Xinge bubble Longjing ah, broken up by the clothes you abide by relevant regulations ah Xinge, sit down fast!
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: Army statement……
Big Zamian: Xinge you still ask me to the Zamian cordial!
Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang: Do you still remember their own once told the Zamian You remember how your name to
Big Zamian: Of course remember, when the small home poorer, every day I go to school with a cornmeal, students都叫I Zamian big, but no one look down on me that they came to help me!
Thelephora ganbajun Zang old: every day when I take a sugar buns to school, every time you change the Zamian steamed bread to eat Zamian is not my favorite, but I want you to know that the world apart from the money, there are emotional existence! Army statement on the symplectic Dongshichang you can please seafood, live hotels, the old Thelephora ganbajun Zang you will be an even多呆you do not want to Your old classmate old classmates, even if we have money again, we can not forget the old students, who ah!
Big Zamian: Old Thelephora ganbajun Zang! Ming --
剧本杀英语：
剧本杀起源于19世纪就盛行的英国派对游戏“murder mystery game”（谋杀之谜），可以称得上是一个舶来品（exotica）了，进入国内市场后，不断为其本土化，也就演变成现在大家耳熟能详的“剧本杀”了。
作为舶来品，“剧本杀”拥有了几种不同的英文翻译方式：
1Murder Mystery Game
适用于国内只有推理本的初期阶段，经过这几年的发展，国内出现了阵营本、机制本、沉浸本、情感本、还原本等等，这些概念都已不是“Murder Mystery”能完全表达囊括的。
2Live Action Role Playing (LARP) games
这则是一种更解释性的翻译——实景角色扮演游戏。LARP也是一个更大的概念，根据需要动作的分量，LARP可以大致划分为两类，一类是剧场式（Theater style）简称TS；另一类为实战式（Live combat）简称LC，剧本杀就属于TS。
3Script Murder
媒体报道大多都采用了这种直译方式——角色扮演谋杀解谜活动。script作名词表示“剧本；手稿；脚本”。而script murder指集悬疑、推理、剧情等元素于一身的“剧本杀”。
有了有了！
Big words of western tour （大话西游）
Chapter 1
Site：The wedding
Characters:牛魔王 、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖
Aside: The story begins with a wedding The Bull King is going to have a concubine
牛：Today is my wedding I am going to have a concubine Ha ha ha ……
妖：Concubine Dose your wife agree to it
牛：Oh! She is not lovely anymore She’s right now at the Flame Mountain She can do nothing about it!
(至尊宝从后台走入人群中)
牛：Let me introduce my brother to you! My bro!
Come here! This is my brother
(牛深情地转向紫霞)
牛：Zixia, listen to me I think I ‘ve fallen in love with you once I know you I want to show my sincerity So I request you to marry me in front of my bros This Pandora’s Box is my gift to you I hope you would say yes
妖：I object!
牛：What
妖：Zixia has a means to test her lover If you can pass it, I will shout up!
至：What’s this Really
妖：This test is that she would marry the guy who can make her Magic Sword go out of the scabbard
(剑从至的怀中落下)
妖：Magic Sword
牛：Let me do this!
(紫跑出，拾剑)
紫：It’s not true! It’s just a joke It is still meaningless even if you can put it out!
(紫跑下)
妖：King, Iron Fan Princess has come
牛：Aaa……
(牛惊慌地跑下)
Aside: The monkey king leaves the front hall, running to back garden……
Chapter 2
Site: Bull King’s back garden
Characters: 至尊宝、紫霞
（至跑过来，突然看到紫独自坐在台阶上，于是走过来）
至：Why are you hiding here
(紫抽剑，指向至。两人定格，至走出来，独白)
至：At this time, the blade is really close to me, 001 cm I think But after a short period of time, 001 second I think, the owner of the sword will fall for me whole-heartedly Because I’ve decided to tell lies, I’ve told many lies in my life, but I think it is the most wonderful lie!
紫：I’ll kill you if you come closer!
至：You should kill me! Kill me! I’d found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her I left regretful after that It’s the ultimate pain in the world Just cut my throat, please don’t hesitate! If God can give me a chance, I will tell her there words “I love you” If God wants to give a time limit, I’ll say this love will last 10 thousand years!
（紫长叹，抛剑，拾剑，抱剑）
紫：What can you tell your wife
至：I have to tell her the truth So I must get the Pandora’s Box back Then go back with you and explain everything But I hate myself that I can’t get the box back I ……
紫：I help you!
至：No, it’s dangerous!
紫：You don’t want to
至：I do! But ……
紫：I trust you! I’ll get the Pandora’s Box back tonight Wait for me here at midnight
(猪喊)
至：Let me do something to my boss first See you tonight
（依依不舍）
Aside: The night ……
Chapter 3
Site: Dungeon
Characters: 至尊宝、猪八戒、沙僧、唐僧
猪和沙：Master, master
(两人同时悄声说)
猪：We come to save you
沙：We come to bring you out
唐：I won’t go
猪和沙：Stay here Why
唐：There’re full of obstacles in the way of getting scriptures This is because we’re not united enough So we let the devils do bad to us That’s fine This prison has no difference with the outside world, to me; the outside world is just a bigger prison You go out first I have something to tell him
(猪和沙下)
唐：You come in and have a sit!
至：To be honest, I’m not your disciple I don’t want to be your disciple Master I know you’re a good guy Please let me go!
唐：Do you know “dong , dong, dong ……”
至：What is “dong, dong, dong”
唐：“dong, dong, dong ……” is ……
(唐唱Only you)
至：Stop Stop I can’t take this anymore, please stop ……
唐：Ohoh ……
至：Damn you, you … I’ve said I can’t take this anymore Don’t disturb or I’ll kill you
唐： Monkey King, you can kill me Life and death are very minor When you know why you should make sacrifices, you will come back and sing this song with me Namonitabhaya …
(至跑走)
Aside: The Monkey King succeeds in escaping form the Bull King, and he reaches the Spiders’ Cave with the Grapes Unfortunately, the Monkey King and his friends meet the Queen of Spider
The Monkey have heard that if the blade slashed fast and accurately, the guy who’s cut open won’t die at once He can still see So he asks the Queen of the Spider to kill him as fast as she could and to tear his heart out and let him have a look
After the Monkey King’s death, he appears in the Hole of Waterfall …
Chapter 4
Site: The Hole of Waterfall
Characters: 至尊宝、观音
至：Goddess I’m about to understand your words I used my eyes to see in the past What I was dying I started using my heart to see this world Then I could see all things clearly That girl …has left a drop of tear in my heart I felt her sorrow
观：Have you given up all things in human world
至：Yes! Life and death is just minor! …… But I don’t understand why can human’s hatred last 10 years, 50 years, and even 500 years What hatred is it
观：So that Tang Monk went to the west and got scriptures, which clean out hearts
至：OK, I want to stay here, there are many things waiting for me to do
观：I want to warn you again After wearing the gold ring, you’re no longer a normal human You can’t have human desires anymore If you do so, the gold ring will get smaller and smaller It’s very uncomfortable
至：OK
观：Before wearing the ring, what do you want to say
至：I had had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her When I lost her, I regret It’s the most pain in the world If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”! If there is a time limit, I hope, it is 10 thousand years!
第二
Wanderseveryfivemiles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hoodSheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanmeAllthisIdonotcareIonlywanthertobetender
thanmeButsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”
L:OKMymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup
JM:SinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadlyYouhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashingIhaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
sonI’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:YouarebackWhyWhathappened
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tomeLookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyouIjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOKAnd
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarketHesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim(下)
L(惊愕):WhatThemayor’ssonThemostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgoneIhavetocookformymotherandmyself
JM(上):Where’smybreakfastWhere’sLunchHasn’tshegotupyet
J:Mum,can’tyourememberLunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuselessLunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonthWEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(惊讶):WhatWhatLunchisgoingtogetmarriedIt’simpossible!
AB&C:WhyAprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyouI’llgo
withyouYoutakethemoneyandItakethebride
B:Haveyougotanyexperience
J:NoButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou
L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybabyI’llgoandfetchthemedicine (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)
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