情感快递大劈叉剧本

情感快递

道具：电动自行车，桌子（上面放着书，下面放着恐龙玩具），椅子两把，一块大布，长字条（以后请不要再打呼噜了，再打呼噜就用大嘴巴子踢死你！！！），酒瓶，枣，照片，梨，框子。

背景音乐音效：开门声，关门声，If（丁可唱），扇巴掌声，比较阴森恐怖的音乐。

快：到，我是大辟叉快递公司的金牌特送员9527，今天你的状态怎么样？好，好，非常好，非常好，耶！以右边自行车为基准，向右看齐，立定。标准站姿，我们是不是最棒的团队，是！我们要不要拿出最好的状态，要！我们要不要展现出最好的自己，要！我们的口号是：加油，加油，我最棒。加油，加油我最强！加油，加油，我最棒。加油，加油我最强！加油，加油，我最棒。加油，加油我最强！耶~我不锁你了，但你不许找别的自行车玩，我一会就回来啊！ 哎呀 ，你好我是大辟叉快递公司的，请问哪位亲要发快递啊。

女：来了

快：啊

女：进来吧，单子给我

快：哎呀，姐，我多句嘴，你这收发咋是同一个地址呢

女：这你都看出来了，来，带着这个过去吧！

快：姐，同城，异地，包括国外，我们都能对付，但是你要从一个世界到另一个世界，大辟叉做不到哇！

女：楼下你还做不到吗？

快：噢，哎呀我去，吓死我了，你这楼上楼下你还发快递啊。

女：我乐意。

快：姐，你这属于扶贫呐，哎呀我去，我以为是挽联呢，快递费十块钱。

女：货到付款。

快：哎，你说这人有意思没，发这玩意，我要天天接这活，我早买房了。大劈叉9527，有您的快递，是XX先生吧。

男：说

快：你的联，以后请不要再打呼噜了，再打呼噜就用大嘴巴子踢死你啊啊啊啊，叹号叹号叹号，快递费十块钱。

男：谁送的。

快：楼上那老娘们

男：那是我媳妇

快：啊

男：想要这钱吗？

快：想

男：传我旨意，你告诉她，我就打呼噜她爱听不听，不听滚，这戒指给他连带这个“切~”一块打包给我送过去，货到付款。

快:什么情况，什么家庭，不送了，不行啊，这玩意挺贵的，我得送啊，记着点20啊 姐

女：谁啊

快：劈叉公公，我们皇上说了，切~爱听不听，不听滚。这是你的旨，快递费20

女：他说的啊，那你进来，来，我是不是给你点脸了，你没有我生活能不能自理了，你每天吃饱喝足了，你往沙发上给我一瘫，你就跟那打啤酒沫子似的，你挺挂杯啊，我让你干点家务活，就跟杀你似的，咱俩结婚十年，你挑战了我十年，我哪次说话你听过，哪次说话你信过我哪次说话你走过心，还有我跟你说过一万遍，我不爱喝露露，我不爱吃梨，我不爱喝露露，我不爱吃梨，我不爱喝，呕~~我不爱吃梨。这两样你能不能记住，能不能

快：我能，但是我是快递，你跟我说什么玩意呢？

女：这是快递

快：快递啊~你这属于传话，你需要翻译呀。

女：翻译个屁，以原声大碟，MTV的格式给我递过去，对了啊，还有这兜子他的最爱，来，一块给我递过去。

快：哎，你说我这不是倒霉催的吗，我钱没收着，我还挨顿骂，跟谁俩呢，整一下一下的，记得30。你好，大劈叉 我是不是给你点脸了，你没有我生活能不能自理了，你每天吃饱喝足了，你往沙发上给我一瘫，你就跟那打啤酒沫子似的，你挺挂杯啊，我让你干点家务活，就跟杀你似的，咱俩结婚十年，你挑战了我十年，我哪次说话你听过，哪次说话你信过我哪次说话你走过心，还有我跟你说过一万遍，我不爱喝露露，我不爱吃梨，我不爱喝露露，我不爱吃梨，我不爱喝，呕~~我不爱吃梨。这两样你能不能记住，能不能。收，大哥，MTV播放完毕。

男：MTV 播放完毕

快：嗯

男：这又是开启的疯狗模式啊，你是按子收钱呢，还是按时段收钱呐

快：哥，你别管咋收钱啦，这还有兜子梨呢。

男：我算弄明白了，这是要离啊!

快：我说大哥吧，你也可以把它理解成止咳。

男：别贫，鉴于你刚才那段MTV，我突然有个想法。

快：啥呀，哥。

男：我想包你。

快：大哥我不是那种人。

男：你想啥呢，就你是我也不是啊，我这有一千块钱，帮我送份快递。

快：哥，用不上，用不上。

男：我花钱制作一部微**，接下来的三分钟，是你人生中最疯狂的三分钟。

快：得有多疯狂啊！

男：随心所欲。

快：那三分钟也不够啊

男：我怕时间长，你把房子给拆了，你要送的这段微**，片名就一个字“作”不是“嘬” 是“作”Z—U—O，作。

快：那是你两口子的事，超出我业务范围了，我送不了。

男：你要不送，我就投诉你。

快：别闹

男：投诉

快：送就送。 **你的快递 姐你家的吹风机在哪？ 姐，微**播放完毕。制片人，楼下我大哥，导演，楼下我大哥。领衔主演，9527。微**只有一个字“作”。

女：大甜枣给你啊，大嘴巴子给我递过去。

快：你这是给个巴掌，再给个大甜枣啊！

女：我这是把你这段微**给升级成武打片了。

快：你啥片我也不干了 干啥呀，打我啊。

女：疼不疼。

快：咋不疼，它酥酥的。

女：生不生气

快：想咬人

女：想不想打人。

快：见谁搂谁

女：那还等什么，奔跑吧兄弟

快：货到付款呗。明白。 大劈叉9527

男：你把这一箱子给我邮过去。

快：哥，你邮我吧。我估计你邮完我，我也就邮医院去了，这回我啥也不邮了

男：你不邮我就投诉你。

快：投呗，我降我都投了，还怕你投诉我吗？大哥我是看出来了，你们两口子针尖对麦芒，你说你这么有性格，你找我姐去，你是打是扇随便你。

男：你以为我不敢是不是。 不去了，太晚了，你走吧。

快：哎呀我去，不怪我姐说你啊，你可真是啤酒沫子，你可真挂杯了。

男：滚

快：爱送不送，不送拉倒，爱死不死

快：你好大劈叉

女：替我啊，打我啊，挠我啊，来啊来啊。让暴风雨来得更猛烈些吧

快：姐这次真不是暴风雨，你猜我搁我哥那屋发现啥了

女：爱啥啥

快：一根大长头发丝

女：爱啥丝啥丝，爱多长多多长，这么长吗？不是我的

快：不光有头发丝，还有香水味呢

女：滚

快：大劈叉，在我姐那屋发现的，哥那不是下酒菜。

男：不是我的，我的没这香。

女：XX你狼心狗肺

男：XX你也不是什么好东西

女：你臭不要脸，臭不要脸

男：你香你香，就你香

快：哎呀，大哥大姐，消消气啊，我给你们放段音乐，缓和一下尴尬的气氛，虽然我不知道啊，你们为啥闹到今天这样，但我敢说呢，你们俩还是彼此在意对方的，我从前听说过这么一段故事，说有这么一对老夫妻，在一块生活了六十年，老两口呢，特别爱吃鱼，老头给老太太夹了一辈子鱼尾，老太太给老头夹了一辈子鱼头。有一天呢，他俩就约定好，说这回谁也不给谁夹，自己吃自己的，鱼做好了。老头上去把鱼尾巴夹到自己碗里，而老太太则夹了鱼头。两人是边吃边笑啊，其实老太太一直爱吃鱼头，但却吃了一辈子鱼尾巴，而老头爱吃鱼尾巴，但却吃了一辈子鱼头。就这样两人生活了六十年，忍让了六十年，这是什么啊，这是爱！两人都把自己最爱的东西让给对方。哥，姐这不像你俩一样，我姐爱吃枣，我哥爱吃梨。你看你两口子吃的这玩意，栆梨啊。姐啊，那头发丝啊是我在你门口捡的，哥，那袜子吧是我自己的。你看看这样多好啊，有啥事不能当面唠。 失败了，行了我也该下班了，再见。

女：9527

快：干啥呀姐，你还想从头来一遍啊。

女：快快，进来，你再帮姐送最后一份快递呗

快：你可拉倒吧，你送那玩意，都是易燃易爆的。

女：这次不危险，而且很浪漫

快：啥呀

女：我

快：哎呀我去

女：快点，听我的，帮我卷起来

快：不是姐，你说你搁这瞎扯啥呢，我哥也没翻你牌子啊，你再给自己整Low喽！

女：Low了不怕，就怕漏了。

快：不是，你捆成这样等会你咋下台阶啊

女：你说对了，我就是让你帮我找个台阶下，你在前面走，姐在后面蹦。

快：小心点啊，台阶看着点。小心点，蹦，蹦，蹦。躺下，躺下。大哥你的最后一份快递。

男：我说你一天天

快：走你

女：哎呀（音乐If起）

注：只是台词剧本，没有动作解说。需要的请结合小品视频。“快”——大劈叉快递员。

“女”——楼上妻子，“男”——楼下丈夫。

青少年犯罪的情感本剧本杀需要结合青少年的身心年龄阶段来写爱而不得的悲伤。世界上的悲伤就一种，叫爱而不得。目前的剧本杀都是用催泪度来表示情感本的好与坏，所以找个热门的青少年催泪**，整理其中的泪点是必要的，要将这种泪点情节赋予需要解读，融合到作品里，作者需要明白催泪的东西是什么，如何推动，然后在自己的剧情里去表达解读。

这个是网上看见的。你可以更改下！

人物：落难的王子

　　时间：战争后，王子落难时

　　地点：异国他乡的大街上

　　大街上，落难的王子正在行乞。走到路人面前。

　　王子（向路人伸着手）：先生，行行好，给一点吃的吧。

　　路人（打量）：兄弟，我见你相貌不凡，你的身世如何呀？一定有什么不平凡的经历吧！

　　王子（惊讶）：是呀，先生。（停顿）我以前是一个王子。可是，后来……

　　路人（着急）：后来怎么了？小兄弟，说出来，看我帮不帮得上你的忙！

　　王子（轻轻地摇了摇头，叹了口气）：不用了，好心的先生。您帮不上忙的。在一场突如其来的战争中，我的父王被别人杀害了。我的母后也受辱自尽了。我呢？就被敌人掳去当了奴隶，天天挨打、挨骂、还没有饭吃、受尽了非人的折磨。

　　路人（同情地询问）：小兄弟，那你是怎么出来的呀？

　　王子（想了想）：我？我是趁人不注意，从牢里爬出来的。当时，我摔了一跤，腿骨折了、成了残废。后来逃到这里来，靠着行乞过日子。

　　路人（十分同情而又担心地叫道）：天啊，太可怕了！这事落到我头上，我可受不了！

　　王子（一本正经）：其实我以前也和你一样多愁善感，总是害怕悲剧发生在自己身上时，自己会受不了。但是，我错了。我直到自己落难时才明白，凡是人间的灾难，无论落到谁的头上，谁都得受着，而且都受得了——只要他不死。至于死，就更是一件容易的事了。

　　落难的王子说完后，一拐一拐地走了，留下路人还在沉思中……

剧本的起承转合四部分构成了一个完整的故事结构。以下是它们各自的作用以及如何相互联系：

1 起：开端

在故事的开头，通常会设置一个激励事件或问题，以引起观众的兴趣。这个事件或问题将为主角的后续行动和情节的发展提供动力。开端不能太小，要能引起足够的兴趣和好奇心，让观众想要了解更多。

2 承：发展

在故事的发展部分，主角会面临各种挑战和困难，需要逐步解决。这一部分通常会涉及主角的情感变化和成长，以及其他角色之间的复杂关系。在故事的发展部分，应该逐渐揭示故事的背景、主角的动机和人物之间的关系等，让观众对故事有更深入的了解。

3 转：高潮

故事的转折点是故事结构中最为关键的部分之一。在转折点，主角遇到了最大的挑战，需要做出关键的决定或行动。这一部分通常会涉及到故事的主题、核心冲突等，是故事的高潮部分。在高潮部分，主角的行动将决定故事的结局，因此需要让观众紧张和兴奋，同时也要让主角面临尽可能大的挑战。

4 合：结尾

故事的结尾部分是用来解释和总结故事的。在这一部分，主角通常会面临最终的挑战，并做出最终的决定或行动。通过这一部分，观众可以回顾整个故事，并对主角的行动和故事的主题有更深入的理解。结尾部分应该是对整个故事的升华和总结，同时也要让观众感到满意和完整。

总之，起承转合四部分构成了完整的故事结构，它们之间相互联系、相互影响，共同构成一个有机的整体。在剧本创作过程中，需要注意各个部分之间的衔接和过渡，以确保故事的连贯性和流畅性。同时，也需要注意各个部分的篇幅和节奏，以确保故事有足够的张弛有度。

无推理内容的剧本杀游戏通常会在角色设定、人际关系、台词交锋、角色发展等方面着重展开，以替代推理、搜证、集中讨论等环节。

在无推理内容的剧本杀游戏中，主要任务和环节可以包括以下几个方面：

角色设定和人际关系：在这个环节中，玩家需要根据自己扮演的角色设定和人际关系来进行角色扮演和交互。这个环节中玩家可以通过各种方式展现自己的角色设定和人际关系，比如对话、行动、动作、台词等。

台词交锋：在无推理内容的剧本杀游戏中，台词交锋是非常重要的环节，通过对话交流展现角色内心感情和情感变化。玩家可以通过角色互动、情感表现等方式来呈现自己的剧情和感受。

角色发展：在一个好的剧本杀游戏中，角色发展是非常重要的一个环节。玩家可以通过角色之间的互动，环节中的情节，角色的发展演化，并表现出角色的成长和变化，使得整个游戏过程更加有趣和丰富。

最后，需要注意的是，无推理内容的剧本杀游戏是一种更加注重角色扮演和情感表达的游戏形式，相较于传统的剧本杀游戏可能更偏向于戏剧表演。您可以结合实际情况，根据玩家的兴趣爱好和喜好，来确定游戏的环节和任务。

　　剧本的分类

　　按照应用范围，可分为： 话剧剧本，课本剧本，**剧本，电视剧剧本等，小说剧本，相声、小品。

　　按剧本题材，又可分为 喜剧、悲剧、历史剧、家庭伦理剧、惊悚剧等等。

　　还有一种剧本主要追求文学性，不以演出为目的，或者不适合演出，动作性不够．被成为”案头剧””书斋剧”．欧洲19世纪的许多浪漫主义诗人和作家创作过很多这种戏剧形式的诗歌，但只能提供阅读，不适合上演．所以在戏剧创作中，剧作家要懂得舞台和表演，应该在剧本的创作中处理好剧本的文学性和舞台性．因为戏剧演出才是最终目的．没有演出和观众的戏剧谈不上是戏剧．

　　剧本写作基础：剧本的格式

　　首先明确一点，剧本区别于任何一种文体形式，我经常看到有的朋友把剧本写成了小说或人物传记，这是不对的，至少是不专业的。剧本有自己专署的格式，写剧本从某种程度上说是个技术活。

　　写剧本也不是什么很崇高的艺术创作，这只是一个普通的工种，剧作家和清洁工人没什么区别，都是很普通的工作而已，所以每个人都可以写剧本，每个人都可以当导演。当然，既然是一个工种，就有自己的规范。这些规范也许不会让你迅速变成一个专家，但至少能使你看上去像一个专家。或者，不至于让你糟糕的格式成为审稿人枪毙你稿子的理由。因为一个审稿人每天要看三到四篇稿子，如果你的剧本格式看上去不怎么专业的话，他完全有理由翻上几页就把你的剧本扔在角落里凉快。

　　先来看看剧本写作常犯的错误：

　　1：把剧本写成了小说

　　刚刚上面提到有的朋友把剧本写成了小说，不是不可以，但那个是文学剧本，根本不能用来指导拍摄和制作。举个例子，你可以在小说里花几页的笔墨来写一个人的身世，背景，家庭组成，或是用几页的笔墨来描写主角的心理斗争过程，但这些东西是无法表现在**屏幕上的。你的剧本就是一个屏幕，你所要表现的是**屏幕上能被观众直接看到感受到的东西。像心理活动这类东西是无法很好的表现出来的。加旁白？当然可以，除非你能忍受主角的画外音在一动不动的镜头里读几页小说。**画面表达情绪，你的剧本就是**画面，要通过摄像机的角度来写，这可能引起第二个问题。

　　2：不必要的摄象机标注

　　如果你这样写剧本：在5号升降台，用盘纳为升70型相机，60mm镜头，由85m摇至2m对焦…………如果你这样写，就算过了审稿人这一关，你的剧本也会被导演扔掉。你不需要教他怎么拍，这不是你的事。你在写剧本的时候完全不用担心相机的事。但是不是剧本就不要考虑相机了呢？也不是，你需要考虑相机的关系而不是位置。剧本里有自己的专用相机术语，多多使用这些术语，能让你的剧本很专业，至少看上去很专业。

　　1Angle on 角度对准：比如BILL走出便利店，相机对准BILL。

　　2Favoring 主要表现：BILL在一个大广场，人很多，但主要表现BILL。

　　3Another angle 另一个角度：换个角度的相机表现BILL在大广场玩的很开心。

　　4Wilder angle 更宽的角度：先表现BILL在广场的一角喝可乐，然后镜头拉远，表现BILL所在的广场。

　　5New angle 新角度：换个角度表现BILL喝可乐，使镜头丰富。

　　6POV 视点：从BILL的视点看东西。就是第一人称视角。

　　7Reverse angle 反拍角度：BILL和SALLY在一起跳舞，先拍BILL看到的SALLY，再拍SALLY看到的BILL，通常是两人的POV互反。

　　8Over shoulder angle 过肩镜头：相机越过BILL的肩头看到SALLY，BILL的肩头能把画面自然的分割，很常用的类型。

　　9Moving shot 运动镜头：包括跟拍，摇移，追随等等，反正镜头是运动的，至于具体怎么动，还不是现在考虑的问题。

　　10Two shot 双人镜头：BILL和SALLY在边喝可乐边交谈，这种镜头的相机不要随意移动，防止“越轴”。把BILL和SALLY两人连起来有一条轴线，相机只能在轴线一侧运动，如果越过这条轴线，在画面上BILL和SALLY的位置就会左右互换，引起观众视觉上的逻辑混淆。

　　11Close shot 近景：强调SALLY美丽的眼睛，但一般少用为妙。

　　12Insert 插入镜头：某物的近景，比如天色已晚，SALLY问BILL几点了，BILL抬起手来，接下来可以接一个BILL手表的特写，当然你还可以用此种镜头来换景，比如BILL移开手表时摄象机里看到的已经是夜晚的舞会了。

　　以上就是剧本里的镜头描写格式，看个例子就明白了。这是具体的写作格式：

　　场景说明要黑体，时间地点要黑体，居左

　　场景中出现的音效要黑体标出

　　第一次出现的人物名要黑体居中

　　人物的对话要居中，两边留空，不同人物的对话要另起一行

　　标明摄象机的关系

　　标明场景的切换，“切至”就是硬切，“化至”就是加转场的效果，全部居右

　　如有特效运用，也要用黑体标出

Scene I A public place

(Enter Sampson and Gregory armed with swords and bucklers)

SampsonGregory, o' my word, we'll not carry coals

GregoryNo, for then we should be colliers

SampsonI mean, an we be in choler we'll draw

GregoryAy, while you live, draw your neck out o' the collar

SampsonI strike quickly, being moved

GregoryBut thou art not quickly moved to strike

SampsonA dog of the house of Montague moves me

GregoryTo move is to stir; and to be valiant is to stand:therefore, if thou art moved, thou runn'st away

SampsonA dog of that house shall move me to stand:I will take the wall of any man or maid of Montague's

GregoryThat shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes to thewall

SampsonTrue; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels,are ever thrust to the wall: therefore I will push Montague's menfrom the wall and thrust his maids to the wall

GregoryThe quarrel is between our masters and us their men

Sampson'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant:when I have fought with the men I will be cruel with the maids,I will cut off their heads

GregoryThe heads of the maids

SampsonAy, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads;take it in what sense thou wilt

GregoryThey must take it in sense that feel it

SampsonMe they shall feel while I am able to stand:and 'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh

Gregory'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst,thou hadst been poor-John--Draw thy tool;Here comes two of the house of Montagues

SampsonMy naked weapon is out: quarrel! I will back thee

GregoryHow! turn thy back and run

SampsonFear me not

GregoryNo, marry; I fear thee!

SampsonLet us take the law of our sides; let them begin

GregoryI will frown as I pass by; and let them take it as theylist

SampsonNay, as they dare I will bite my thumb at them; which isdisgrace to them if they bear it

(Enter Abraham and Balthasar)

AbrahamDo you bite your thumb at us, sir

SampsonI do bite my thumb, sir

AbrahamDo you bite your thumb at us, sir

SampsonIs the law of our side if I say ay

GregoryNo

SampsonNo, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir; but I bite mythumb, sir

GregoryDo you quarrel, sir

AbrahamQuarrel, sir! no, sir

SampsonBut if you do, sir, am for you: I serve as good a man asyou

AbrahamNo better

SampsonWell, sir

GregorySay better; here comes one of my master's kinsmen

SampsonYes, better, sir

AbrahamYou lie

SampsonDraw, if you be men--Gregory, remember thy swashing blow

(They fight)

(Enter Benvolio)

BenvolioPart, fools! put up your swords; you know not what you do(Beats down their swords)

(Enter Tybalt)

TybaltWhat, art thou drawn among these heartless hindsTurn thee Benvolio, look upon thy death

BenvolioI do but keep the peace: put up thy sword,Or manage it to part these men with me

TybaltWhat, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the wordAs I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee:Have at thee, coward!

(They fight)

(Enter several of both Houses, who join the fray; then enterCitizens with clubs)

1 CitizenClubs, bills, and partisans! strike! beat them down!Down with the Capulets! Down with the Montagues!

(Enter Capulet in his gown, and Lady Capulet)

CapuletWhat noise is this--Give me my long sword, ho!

Lady CapuletA crutch, a crutch!--Why call you for a sword

CapuletMy sword, I say!--Old Montague is come,And flourishes his blade in spite of me

(Enter Montague and his Lady Montague)

MontagueThou villain Capulet!-- Hold me not, let me go

Lady MontagueThou shalt not stir one foot to seek a foe

(Enter Prince, with Attendants)

PrinceRebellious subjects, enemies to peace,Profaners of this neighbour-stained steel,--Will they not hear--What, ho! you men, you beasts,That quench the fire of your pernicious rageWith purple fountains issuing from your veins,--On pain of torture, from those bloody handsThrow your mistemper'd weapons to the groundAnd hear the sentence of your moved prince--Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word,By thee, old Capulet, and Montague,Have thrice disturb'd the quiet of our streets;And made Verona's ancient citizensCast by their grave beseeming ornaments,To wield old partisans, in hands as old,Canker'd with peace, to part your canker'd hate:If ever you disturb our streets again,Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peaceFor this time, all the rest depart away:--You, Capulet, shall go along with me;--And, Montague, come you this afternoon,To know our farther pleasure in this case,To old Free-town, our common judgment-place--Once more, on pain of death, all men depart

(Exeunt Prince and Attendants; Capulet, Lady Capulet, Tybalt,Citizens, and Servants)

MontagueWho set this ancient quarrel new abroach--Speak, nephew, were you by when it began

BenvolioHere were the servants of your adversaryAnd yours, close fighting ere I did approach:I drew to part them: in the instant cameThe fiery Tybalt, with his sword prepar'd;Which, as he breath'd defiance to my ears,He swung about his head, and cut the winds,Who, nothing hurt withal, hiss'd him in scorn:While we were interchanging thrusts and blows,Came more and more, and fought on part and part,Till the prince came, who parted either part

Lady MontagueO, where is Romeo--saw you him to-day--Right glad I am he was not at this fray

BenvolioMadam, an hour before the worshipp'd sunPeer'd forth the golden window of the east,A troubled mind drave me to walk abroad;Where,--underneath the grove of sycamoreThat westward rooteth from the city's side,--So early walking did I see your son:Towards him I made; but he was ware of me,And stole into the covert of the wood:I, measuring his affections by my own,--That most are busied when they're most alone,--Pursu'd my humour, not pursuing his,And gladly shunn'd who gladly fled from me

MontagueMany a morning hath he there been seen,With tears augmenting the fresh morning's dew,Adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs:But all so soon as the all-cheering sunShould in the farthest east begin to drawThe shady curtains from Aurora's bed,Away from light steals home my heavy son,And private in his chamber pens himself;Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight outAnd makes himself an artificial night:Black and portentous must this humour prove,Unless good counsel may the cause remove

BenvolioMy noble uncle, do you know the cause

MontagueI neither know it nor can learn of him

BenvolioHave you importun'd him by any means

MontagueBoth by myself and many other friends;But he, his own affections' counsellor,Is to himself,--I will not say how true,--But to himself so secret and so close,So far from sounding and discovery,As is the bud bit with an envious wormEre he can spread his sweet leaves to the air,Or dedicate his beauty to the sunCould we but learn from whence his sorrows grow,We would as willingly give cure as know

BenvolioSee, where he comes: so please you step aside;I'll know his grievance or be much denied

MontagueI would thou wert so happy by thy stayTo hear true shrift--Come, madam, let's away,

--And she's fair

(Exeunt Montague and Lady)

(Enter Romeo)

BenvolioGood morrow, cousin

RomeoIs the day so young

BenvolioBut new struck nine

RomeoAy me! sad hours seem longWas that my father that went hence so fast

BenvolioIt was--What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours

RomeoNot having that which, having, makes them short

BenvolioIn love

RomeoOut,--

BenvolioOf love

RomeoOut of her favour where I am in love

BenvolioAlas, that love, so gentle in his view,Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!

RomeoAlas that love, whose view is muffled still,Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!--Where shall we dine--O me!--What fray was hereYet tell me not, for I have heard it allHere's much to do with hate, but more with love:--Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate!O anything, of nothing first create!O heavy lightness! serious vanity!Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms!Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health!Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!--This love feel I, that feel no love in thisDost thou not laugh

BenvolioNo, coz, I rather weep

RomeoGood heart, at what

she's fair I love

BenvolioAt thy good heart's oppression

RomeoWhy, such is love's transgression--Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast;Which thou wilt propagate, to have it prestWith more of thine: this love that thou hast shownDoth add more grief to too much of mine ownLove is a smoke rais'd with the fume of sighs;Being purg'd, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears:What is it else a madness most discreet,A choking gall, and a preserving sweet--Farewell, my coz

(Going)

BenvolioSoft! I will go along:An if you leave me so, you do me wrong

RomeoTut! I have lost myself; I am not here:This is not Romeo, he's some other where

BenvolioTell me in sadness who is that you love

RomeoWhat, shall I groan and tell thee

BenvolioGroan! why, no;But sadly tell me who

RomeoBid a sick man in sadness make his will,--Ah, word ill urg'd to one that is so ill!--In sadness, cousin, I do love a woman

BenvolioI aim'd so near when I suppos'd you lov'd

RomeoA right good markman!--And she's fair I love

BenvolioA right fair mark, fair coz, is soonest hit

RomeoWell, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hitWith Cupid's arrow,--she hath Dian's wit;And, in strong proof of chastity well arm'd,From love's weak childish bow she lives unharm'dShe will not stay the siege of loving termsNor bide th' encounter of assailing eyes,Nor ope her lap to saint-seducing gold:O, she's rich in beauty; only poorThat, when she dies, with beauty dies her store

BenvolioThen she hath sworn that she will still live chaste

RomeoShe hath, and in that sparing makes huge waste;For beauty, starv'd with her severity,Cuts beauty off from all posterityShe is too fair, too wise; wisely too fair,To merit bliss by making me despair:She hath forsworn to love; and in that vowDo I live dead that live to tell it now

BenvolioBe rul'd by me, forget to think of her

RomeoO, teach me how I should forget to think

BenvolioBy giving liberty unto thine eyes;Examine other beauties

Romeo'Tis the wayTo call hers, exquisite, in question more:These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows,Being black, puts us in mind they hide the fair;He that is strucken blind cannot forgetThe precious treasure of his eyesight lost:Show me a mistress that is passing fair,What doth her beauty serve but as a noteWhere I may read who pass'd that passing fairFarewell: thou canst not teach me to forget

BenvolioI'll pay that doctrine, or else die in debt

(Exeunt)

Scene II A Street

(Enter Capulet, Paris, and Servant)

CapuletBut Montague is bound as well as I,In penalty alike; and 'tis not hard, I think,For men so old as we to keep the peace

ParisOf honourable reckoning are you both;And pity 'tis you liv'd at odds so longBut now, my lord, what say you to my suit

CapuletBut saying o'er what I have said before:My child is yet a stranger in the world,She hath not seen the change of fourteen years;Let two more summers wither in their prideEre we may think her ripe to be a bride

ParisYounger than she are happy mothers made

CapuletAnd too soon marr'd are those so early madeThe earth hath swallowed all my hopes but she,--She is the hopeful lady of my earth:But woo her, gentle Paris, get her heart,My will to her consent is but a part;An she agree, within her scope of choiceLies my consent and fair according voiceThis night I hold an old accustom'd feast,Whereto I have invited many a guest,Such as I love; and you among the store,One more, most welcome, makes my number moreAt my poor house look to behold this nightEarth-treading stars that make dark heaven light:Such comfort as do lusty young men feelWhen well apparell'd April on the heelOf limping winter treads, even such delightAmong fresh female buds shall you this nightInherit at my house; hear all, all see,And like her most whose merit most shall be:Which, among view of many, mine, being one,May stand in number, though in reckoning noneCome, go with me--Go, sirrah, trudge aboutThrough fair Verona; find those persons outWhose names are written there, (gives a paper) and to them say,My house and welcome on their pleasure stay

(Exeunt Capulet and Paris)

sadness who is that

ServantFind them out whose names are written here!It is written that the shoemaker should meddle withhis yard and the tailor with his last, the fisher withhis pencil, and the painter with his nets; but I amsent to find those persons whose names are here writ,and can never find what names the writing personhath here writ I must to the learned:--in good time!

(Enter Benvolio and Romeo)

BenvolioTut, man, one fire burns out another's burning,One pain is lessen'd by another's anguish;Turn giddy, and be holp by backward turning;One desperate grief cures with another's languish:Take thou some new infection to thy eye,And the rank poison of the old will die

RomeoYour plantain-leaf is excellent for that

BenvolioFor what, I pray thee

RomeoFor your broken shin

BenvolioWhy, Romeo, art thou mad

RomeoNot mad, but bound more than a madman is;Shut up in prison, kept without my food,Whipp'd and tormented and--God-den, good fellow

ServantGod gi' go-den--I pray, sir, can you read

RomeoAy, mine own fortune in my misery

ServantPerhaps you have learned it without book:but I pray, can you read anything you see

RomeoAy, If I know the letters and the language

ServantYe say honestly: rest you merry!

RomeoStay, fellow; I can read (Reads)'Signior Martino and his wife and daughters;County Anselmo and his beauteous sisters; thelady widow of Vitruvio; Signior Placentio andhis lovely nieces; Mercutio and his brotherValentine; mine uncle Capulet, his wife, anddaughters; my fair niece Rosaline; Livia; SigniorValentio and his cousin Tybalt; Lucio and thelively Helena'A fair assembly (Gives back the paper): whither should theycome

ServantUp

RomeoWhither

ServantTo supper; to our house

RomeoWhose house

ServantMy master's

RomeoIndeed I should have ask'd you that before

ServantNow I'll tell you without asking: my master is the greatrich Capulet; and if you be not of the house of Montagues,I pray, come and crush a cup of wine Rest you merry!

(Exit)

BenvolioAt this same ancient feast of Capulet'sSups the fair Rosaline whom thou so lov'st;With all the admired beauties of VeronaGo thither; and, with unattainted eye,Compare her face with some that I shall show,And I will make thee think thy swan a crow

RomeoWhen the devout religion of mine eyeMaintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires;And these,--who, often drown'd, could never die,--Transparent heretics, be burnt for liars!One fairer than my love the all-seeing sunNe'er saw her match since first the world begun

lov'd love a

BenvolioTut, you saw her fair, none else being by,Herself pois'd with herself in either eye:But in that crystal scales let there be weigh'dYour lady's love against some other maidThat I will show you shining at this feast,And she shall scant show well that now shows best

RomeoI'll go along, no such sight to be shown,But to rejoice in splendour of my own

(Exeunt)

Scene III Room in Capulet's House

(Enter Lady Capulet, and Nurse)

Lady CapuletNurse, where's my daughter call her forth to me

NurseNow, by my maidenhea,--at twelve year old,--I bade her come--What, lamb! what ladybird!--God forbid!--where's this girl--what, Juliet!

(Enter Juliet)

JulietHow now, who calls

NurseYour mother

JulietMadam, I am here What is your will

Lady CapuletThis is the matter,--Nurse, give leave awhile,We must talk in secret: nurse, come back again;I have remember'd me, thou's hear our counselThou knowest my daughter's of a pretty age

NurseFaith, I can tell her age unto an hour

Lady CapuletShe's not fourteen

NurseI'll lay fourteen of my teeth,--And yet, to my teen be it spoken, I have but four,--She is not fourteen How long is it nowTo Lammas-tide

Lady CapuletA fortnight and odd days

NurseEven or odd, of all days in the year,Come Lammas-eve at night shall she be fourteenSusan and she,--God rest all Christian souls!--Were of an age: well, Susan is with God;She was too good for me:--but, as I said,On Lammas-eve at night shall she be fourteen;That shall she, marry; I remember it well'Tis since the earthquake now eleven years;And she was wean'd,--I never shall forget it--,Of all the days of the year, upon that day:For I had then laid wormwood to my dug,Sitting in the sun under the dove-house wall;My lord and you were then at Mantua:Nay, I do bear a brain:--but, as I said,When it did taste the wormwood on the nippleOf my dug and felt it bitter, pretty fool,To see it tetchy, and fall out with the dug!Shake, quoth the dove-house: 'twas no need, I trow,To bid me trudgeAnd since that time it is eleven years;For then she could stand alone; nay, by the roodShe could have run and waddled all about;For even the day before, she broke her brow:And then my husband,--God be with his soul!'A was a merry man,--took up the child:'Yea,' quoth he, 'dost thou fall upon thy faceThou wilt fall backward when thou hast more wit;Wilt thou not, Jule' and, by my holidame,The pretty wretch left crying, and said 'Ay:'To see now how a jest shall come about!I warrant, an I should live a thousand yeas,I never should forget it; 'Wilt thou not, Jule' quoth he;And, pretty fool, it stinted, and said 'Ay'

Lady CapuletEnough of this; I pray thee hold thy peace

NurseYes, madam;--yet I cannot choose but laugh,To think it should leave crying, and say 'Ay:'And yet, I warrant, it had upon its browA bump as big as a young cockerel's stone;A parlous knock; and it cried bitterly'Yea,' quoth my husband, 'fall'st upon thy faceThou wilt fall backward when thou com'st to age;Wilt thou not, Jule' it stinted, and said 'Ay'

JulietAnd stint thou too, I pray thee, nurse, say I

NursePeace, I have done God mark thee to his grace!Thou wast the prettiest babe that e'er I nurs'd:An I might live to see thee married once, I have my wish

Lady CapuletMarry, that marry is the very themeI came to talk of--Tell me, daughter Juliet,How stands your disposition to be married